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InLoveAndWaiting

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  1. InLoveAndWaiting
    Thank you for writing back blender, I put alot of thought into what you say. I have a bit of a problem and believe I may have messed up. My ex called last night and I picked up, just to say hey. We talked for a few minutes about how our Thanksgiving was. I made a mistake I believe by telling her that I hadn't called her back because I wasn't sure she wanted me to. I told her that since I hadn't heard back from her after my last message that I didn't want to call again, and wasn't sure if she wanted to hear from me. When she started calling me again it was like everyday, and I was calling her back everyday also, then the calls lessened. I didn't want to keep calling after they lessened because I didn't want to push her away. This is something I still fear from after we first split up, when I believe I pushed her away by calling and not completely giving her the space she needs. My problem is that I believe I'm constantly portraying signs of weakness and desperation that turn her off, but I don't mean to. I am a great person and I wish she didn't have to see me this way, I'm an emotional wreck. I know I can't change what I said or take it back but how can I go on from here without making anymore mistakes? I don't want to screw this up anymore. Do I just start the NO CONTACT right now? I want to let her know how I still feel about her because that is why I'm acting the way I am. It's too difficult for me to just be friends with her right now.
  2. InLoveAndWaiting
    I think I'm going to tell her tomorrow, I just can't do this anymore, it's been tearing me up for too long. I think I'm going to tell her that it's just too hard for me to see her and talk to her right now, because I still have feelings for her. I lost someone I love very much and those feelings came back when I saw them again. I'm still not over her and don't know how long that will take. I want her to come back but since she broke things off with me it is completely up to her. I honestly feel like she will never come back. I just need to tell her that I would like us to get back together, but I know that is a decision she has to make, and she needs to figure out what she wants. I need to completely let go and I can't do that if I'm still in contact. It's just too hard for me.
  3. InLoveAndWaiting
    Blender, so your saying I should not call her at all, what if she calls me again? Won't she think I'm being rude or possibly get upset that I'm not calling her back? I don't want her to think I'm ignoring her.
  4. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex called last night to wish me Happy Thanksgiving, I did not answer and haven't called back. She said she has been so busy and hasn't got a chance to call, should I call her back or wait to see if she calls again?
  5. InLoveAndWaiting
    Thanks Blender, that is what I need to do, take one day at a time and take care of myself. I know she knows where to find me and I know she will miss me, I just hope in time that she will find clarity and be able to make a decision when the time is right for her. Thank You.
  6. InLoveAndWaiting
    Great post, I really needed to hear that today. I've been going thru a tough time, if you'd like to read my posts and comment I'd appreciate it. I believe what your saying is so true. I have acted some ways after our breakup that I wish I hadn't, but I can't change that. I did not appear strong and I need to be like that now. My ex began contacting me again but I haven't heard any words of getting back together or that she missed me. I realize that the best chance to get her back is to move on with my life and to be strong, emotionally. I want her back more than anything because I love her so much, but I realize that it's a decision she needs to make when she is ready. I need to back off and give her time, it's just starting to sink in for me. Thanks again man, I really needed to hear that today.
  7. InLoveAndWaiting
    In your opinions, is it true that my ex girlfriend could still love me and know she wants to be with me someday, but just needs her space now, until she is ready? Should I let her initiate all the contact since she broke things off with me? Is the best chance of getting her back to just move on and not contact her at all, so she can miss me? She has been in touch again recently but now has backed off, maybe realizing she could be leading me on right now. We are on good terms and really do care about one another.
  8. InLoveAndWaiting
    I understand what all of you are saying and it's starting to sink in. I'm having a hard time letting go. I haven't heard from her now in 4 days and I believe she has backed off intentionally now because she felt she was leading me on. I was told by a good friend that she may still love me and want to be with me, but if it is not the right time for her, she won't show those signs of interest until she is ready. She went thru a similar situation with her boyfriend where they split for 2 years and then he came back, he told her that he loved her all along, but he wasn't ready and he needed some space. I know people will take the whole "I Need Space" thing as an excuse, but sometimes it is actually true. People need space for different reasons, alot we will never understand. I'm not going to contact my ex anymore, I made a promise to myself last night. I tried calling her yesterday afternoon and left her a message, I thought she wanted me to call, but maybe not. I know she is not too busy to call me back, she will when she wants to. I guess I need to let all the contact be on her terms, so I don't push her away again. Maybe she felt that by talking everyday was like being in a relationship again, and she didn't want to lead me on, I don't know. I know I'm not getting the response I want by calling, so I'm not calling anymore, this is going to be hard as hell, but I can do it. Am I doing the right thing, should I let her initiate all the contact?
  9. InLoveAndWaiting
    Let me get this straight, I understand what all of you are saying. Is the best way to get her back to just move on with my life as if she is not in it? I have not gotten a phone call from her in 3 days now, I'm not freaking out, just wondering why. We did text each other yesterday though. Should I just not call her at all anymore and wait and see if she calls? I called once and left a message earlier tonight but haven't heard back yet, just confusing. Just wondering what the best course of action is to get her back? I know that it's still up to her, but what are my best chances? What have all of you found to work the best in attracting someone back?
  10. InLoveAndWaiting
    We did not go dutch when we were together and she preferred I don't pay last Friday since we aren't together. We used to take turns paying sometimes until we got joint accounts when we moved in together. She went thru a really bad time financially right before we moved and I was mostly supporting us, there could not have been worst timing. I think it drained on her that our financial situation was getting worse and she had a difficult time contributing. I need to give her time to gain some of her independence and get herself more financially stable, so the same problems don't occur. I'm willing to be patient, I don't want to rush things with her.
  11. InLoveAndWaiting
    I asked her last Friday if she would like to go to our favorite Japanese restaurant, she said she would love to but she needed to be saving her money right now, and yes the place is expensive. I suggested something cheaper and she said she really didn't need to be spending money eating out right now. I told her I understand and maybe some other time. I know her financial situation right now and she is right, and I respect that. Any other suggestions?
  12. InLoveAndWaiting
    I understand where you all are coming from and appreciate the advice. My ex is sending some signals but nothing definite about getting back together. She is showing signs of interest in me again and maybe just wants to take things slow, you can't jump right back into things I would think. Maybe we can use this time to get to know one another again before things get more serious. I don't want to ask her, at least not yet, for fear of pushing her away. I know it will come to a point where that is what I will need to do. It's only been 2 weeks since we started talking again, I need to give things some more time. Maybe she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now with me, but she isn't showing interest in anyone else. She asked me if I had gone on any dates and I asked her the same. Our answers were the same, no and we didn't want to. There are alot of things that contributed to our breakup which is another story in itself, you can read the original attatched link if you'd like. She is still not in the best shape financially and I could improve also. I believe we are getting our lives back on track individually so if we do get back together, the same problems do not occur. I honestly believe that our situation we were in financially and neither one of us being happy after our move was a huge contributor to our split. I don't want to rush things because I really love this woman, and she has the most wonderful children I love to death. I'm going to see how things play out for now and hope for the best. Any other advice is appreciated.
  13. InLoveAndWaiting
    What signs should I look for that my ex is showing interest again in a relationship and not as just a friend?
  14. InLoveAndWaiting
    Anyone have any advice on the questions in paragraph 2 and 3?
  15. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex and I split up back in June after a 6 month relationship. She is 27 and has 2 kids and I am 26. We still care about each other very much. We went thru a period where she didn't really want me to call, didn't want to see me at all. She said she needed her time and she didn't know what she wanted. She has recently come back into my life, contact initiated by her. We saw each other for the first time in a long while on Nov. 3. She has since been calling almost everyday to talk with me. We are becoming very close again, something I never imagined but hoped for. She knows my feelings for her and that I would want to get back together, I know she doesn't want to be in a relationship now, until her financial situation is better and she feels she is ready. I'm not sure if she is afraid of commitment, but believe she is to a degree. I love her more than anything, and would like a relationship with her again. Question - Since she initiated the breakup, I should let her bring up getting back together right? The 2nd time around isn't as easy as the 1st because, I don't believe in trying to fix something, you should want to start something new. How slow should things go between us if we give US another chance? I believe we moved too fast the 1st time around and that was part reason for our split. What things should I look for if she is getting interested in me again? I don't want to bring up getting back together for fear I will push her away again. She is talking to me again just like she did when our 1st relationship was just getting started. I believe that our break up was due more to financial stress and being unhappy with our recent move together where neither one of us really liked our jobs or the move, we did initially though. I believe this was associated with being unhappy with each other, can that be true?
  16. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex called me yesterday around 2 pm, I did not pick up the phone and let her leave a message so it didn't look like I was waiting for her call and so available. I did call her back after about 45 minutes. We were both in town last night and she said she was at the mall looking for something to wear for a work party she has to go to tomorrow. She was getting stressed cause she couldn't find anything and I asked if she needed some help, she gladly said yes. We had a great time together for about an hour and a half and we are making each other laugh again. She did find some pants and I told her they looked great on her, they really did. She thanked me for coming with her and told me to call her later. We talked last night around 9 and then said good night to each other. She told me to call her today at work, and she sent me a text around 2 just to see how my day was going. She seems so happy to be talking to me again. I am getting the response I want by not calling, the less I call the more I hear from her, strange. Anyway, things are going good between us right now, I just stress too much sometimes because I really miss her and the kids. I will keep all of you posted.
  17. InLoveAndWaiting
    I know how to make her moan better than that.
  18. InLoveAndWaiting
    Ok, I believe most women tend to say this and think it even more often. My ex and I are talking again and getting closer. She keeps telling me she has gained so much weight since we split and she can't just go into a store and find things easily like she use to. She is not fat and I keep telling her that, she has had 2 kids and looks great to me, but she must also feel good about herself. I told her that she could start going to the gym with me after work and the gym has a play room for the kids. I told her she would feel so much better after she was going awhile, I told her that I did. She seems to complain about wanting to lose weight but isn't willing to do much about it, I know she could do it, but I love her just the way she is, I want her to be happy with herself. Am I doing the right thing by supporting her and telling her she isn't fat, she really isn't. Is there anything else I can do?
  19. InLoveAndWaiting
    Thank you for your advice Ellie2006, she actually called me tonight to see what I was doing. I was headed into town anyway and she was at the mall looking for something to wear for a party she has to go to for work on Sat. night. She told me she was having trouble finding something to wear and I asked her if she would like some help, she gladly accepted and we spent about an hour and a half there together, we had a really good time. I have noticed that she looks at me like she misses me when I'm around her, she loves the slight accent I have when I say certain words and other little things about me that only couples come to love about one another. She asked me to call her later after we left the mall and I did, we had a nice conversation and we said good night. She told me I could call her tomorrow at work. Things look to be going really well but I know I need to be careful with my heart and take things slowly. We are really getting along well and we are making one another laugh again. I am happy with the progress I have made as a person during our separation and believe I will be a better person because of it. I will continue to keep posting as the situation unfolds, as for now I am just enjoying the times we talk and spend together because I have really missed her. I have not missed a night of prayer since the day she left and will continue from this day forward. I will never forget a great line from the movie Rudy, "praying is something we do in our time, the answers come in God's time." That is so true, and I will continue to pray that things work out between us. Thank you all for your advice and opinions on this, it is appreciated.
  20. InLoveAndWaiting
    Everyone getting tired of hearing me, that why no one will reply to my posts?
  21. InLoveAndWaiting
    My ex called me today around 2 pm from work, completely unexpected. Said she was calling to see how I was and to call her back at work. Didn't call back immediately as if I was waiting to hear from her. She always sounds happy to talk with me when she calls. If things end up where we do get back togehter, how slow should things be taken? I know that the issues before we split would need to be dealt with, but this is new territory for me. This was my first real relationship and have never dealt with an ex or their behaviour, it's almost like a game. I am just being myself and trying to let her initiate everything, is this the right way to go about things?
  22. InLoveAndWaiting
    I do not want to bring up past issues unless we start to talk about getting back together, she was the one that left me so I don't want to initiate that topic. I understand if we get more serious again those issues need to be dealt with. Just would like some advice on whether I should continue to wait for her to call or should I give her a call, I'm not freaking out, just would like some advice.
  23. InLoveAndWaiting
    Started talking with the ex again about a week and a half ago, initiated by her. She was calling at least once a day just to say hey and telling me to call her back. I sent her a text last night saying goodnight, sweet dreams and that I hope she had a good day. Now haven't heard from her in 2 days. What do you all think I should do? Just confused about the sudden stop in calls. She was sounding like she was so happy to talk to me again.
  24. InLoveAndWaiting
    Good post, you are right about that. I am at a point with my ex where I don't know what to do. Maybe you can read my original post and let me know what you think, from a woman's perspective, I would appreciate it. We started talking again recently and she was calling me everyday, now I haven't heard from her in 2 days. What do you think?
  25. InLoveAndWaiting
    It has now been 2 days since I heard anything from my ex, I don't want to call because I want it to be initiated by her and on her terms. We saw each other for the first time in awhile on the weekend of Nov. 3, after that she was calling me like everyday, just to say hey and hope I have a good day. Now, the calling has gotten less, I'm not panicing, just wondering why. I sent her a text last night just to say goodnight and sweet dreams, hope you had a good day, nothing else. Haven't heard anything back since. Just wondering if I'm doing the right thing by not calling. I'm happy we have been talking again but don't want to push things. Any advice?
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