Hangin10

I was raised by both up until I was around 14/15ish (freshman year of HS). My dad was probably the most strict parent of all the kids at my grade school. One time the 6th grade class trip was to a nature retreat or something for 3 days overnight. This one kid at the breakfast table ticked off my dad, my dad just gets up starts screaming at the kid, *silence of 300 person cafeteria* and makes the kid stand in the corner the rest of the time. Pretty much the only person who could stand up to the guy was my grandmother (my mom's mother), as she pulled a knife on him once. Wow, ok, this is sounding way more extreme than it is. I've heard the theory that guys with relatively well-adjusted fathers (perhaps fathers close to the Platonic "Just Person", or Nimochean Ethicalness or something) tend to be more introverted because show anger and basically scare the extro-ness out of the kids. My dad was ok most of the time. He encouraged my computer and math skills (my math skills actually suck now, I just dropped out of Calc 2), and the bastard leaves me with a love for the Museum of Science and Industry which he took me to almost every year. And then he died. That's an awesome paragraph opener, eh? Yeah, cancer. It got progressively worse until he didn't even know who I was. Most people were just relieved. I should back up a bit. My Dad did call me a * * * * * a lot, and although he never laid a finger on me (and put up a good fight against the State's regulations of the sexual version of that), to sum it up (TOO LATE!, heh) very strict and demeaning to both myself and my mother (my sister was too young when he died to be terribly effected). Up until that freshman year of HS, I only had one friend, who (to this day) lives accross the street. This kid had (or has, I don't know) a massive temper. The second I wanted to leave, he'd beat the * * * * out of me and rip out my hair. And yet my parents would continue to send me over there. So not only am I fairly introverted and shy, I'm also extremely sensitive. Since my dad died, I've been raised by my mother. She used to fairly passive. I was too, but after the experience of getting a girlfriend at the end of my HS career I got into punk rock and all that. So I'm getting better at not being so passive and sensitive (as that girl talked about, see this post). After pointing out an extreme amount of times that she doesn't need to be polite to everyone, I got her to stand up to some rude employees at Best Buy (this is like last month). That was probably the first time I've ever seen my mom assert herself to anyone/thing; it was a rather weird experience. If I can think of more, I'll write it down, but that's about as good exposition as you're going to get from me at 3 AM.

Oh, I wouldn't know. *looks down* *walks away*.

I hate those looks. Or at least I didn't until my last girlfriend. It's like "the TV is over there! I'm still gonna be here when the movie's over."

I'll date any race. Hispanic and black women are the least attractive to me. I don't find black skin tones to be attractive, and with either of them I tend to have little in common. And although I might partake myself someday, I must condemn interracial marriage as being totally wrong. Way to kill gene pool variation!

doubleq, I think you've seriously got the wrong idea. One person treating another like they are property is just about the quickest way to loose anyone worth having; if someone gets treated like property and they stick around, they aren't worth it. Do little things ever tick you off? Do you just ignore it? If you have the slightest feeling that you're being wronged, at least say so. Somehow, I get the feeling what you call "treated like property" is closer to "calling someone's BS/bluff." Edit: heloladies21, that last post was the first constructive thing you've said to the guy. How about helping instead of just "you're wrong" and marketing a speed seduction site? I think he gets that we think he's wrong, otherwise an argument would not be ensuing.

In reply to the original poster and doubleg137: If you're still in HS, and you learn now, you'll have a leg up for later. It only gets harder, or at least it does for me, my community college is known for not having the most friendly, social(, or law-abiding) people around and I still get hit on (er.. maybe that cancels out my point.). Anyway: step 1) don't care what people think in general. chances are that they don't give a s*** about you, so why should you give a * * * * about them? you are, contrary to what you might think, entitled to ARTICULATELY express your opinions. This doesn't mean that you can look like you just got out of bed though. speak up! I naturally have a rather quiet voice, when I think I'm yelling, people tell me I'm talking normally. The whole scale reverses up if I'm excited about something. You don't need to be loud, but stand your ground. You have the right to disagree. step 2) get some personality. do you ever make jokes? use any innuendo what-so-ever? plenty of girls are fans of Van Wilder, or Eurotrip, Harold and Kumar, and that doesn't make them loose or bad people. Just about any personality will do. I'd bet the guy in my English class gets something, no matter how much it seems like he has latent homoerotic feelings for Arnold and other body builders. If you constantly want to hold her hand, kiss her cheek, and never tell her what you're actually thinking when she inevitably does something stupid or makes a mistake or otherwise ticks you off (and you'll make it obvious in other ways), you WILL get SHOT DOWN time and time again (and if that sounds rather specific... no comment is the biggest comment, eh?) step 3) I actually lost my train of thought since it's late, I rambled, and I have 3 IM conversations going. Basically, if you're both a coward and have a stick up your butt at the same time, you're going to come off as a boring, stuck up, sentimental, passive-aggressive person. Read some David DeAngelo. I don't recommend necessarily doing all of it verbatim, but take a look at how having your wits about you along with some kind of a sense of humor will get you pretty darn far.

That's just cruel We're pretty dumb. Let's go with that. Trust in that he has zero idea what's going on. It's possible he has some clue, but him having no clue is the base solution. Solve that by being super duper blunty obviousness (yes, I know), and you'll find out what he thinks one way or another and you don't have to worry about it anymore. I still think he has no idea what's going on, especially if you have other guy friends that you hang with as well.

I don't think you're being blunt at all. You're all the way on the other side way inside the "subtle" range. He probably has zero idea what's going on, and this random girl keeps sitting by him for awhile and moves somewhere else. Three years ago (when I was 16), it would just tick me off if I girl kept tickling me (we especially don't like getting poked in that tickley spot in the side); then I'd just think she's weird. I don't think there's anything much more can be said than "just tell him." And, yes, I do know how hard that can be to . (PS, sorry if that sounded harsh. Just makes me wonder how many girls may have liked me, but never did/said anything to make themselves known at all.)

Ask him for his number under the guise of gunna call him to come over and study. When I was a soph. in HS, a girl in math class did that. Her dad put an end to it before she even called me (according to her >.> ).

Thanks for all the replies, I found out today (through conversation, she asked me about my paper) that she has a boyfriend. Thanks for all the above advice, I'll keep it in mind while just going with the flow on this whole college thing

I probably should have mentioned that our class goes from 9-10 AM, so there's a good chance that she has classes afterwards as I do. I guess that means I'll have to find a coffee place in that town.

It's about 3 weeks into the school year. I go to a regional community college. Plenty of cute girls around, so the specific one this post is about isn't as important as me figuring out how dating works when one doesn't really know the person at all other than sitting next to them in class and working on a couple of things. A good looking girl in another class made a point of sitting next to me and starting up with "What's your name?" and poking me and stuff, but showed herself to be kinda pushy in the next about 10min. Anyway: How do I proceed? I had 2 girlfriends in HS, the first I met at the lunch table, and the second I met at homecoming after I graduated taking a friend (who ditched me for another of my friends, see my other posts). So I really have no idea what to do here. 1) Ask her for her number, and tell her I like to take her out for some fun. (which I dunno what it would be). 2) Like I said, I'm rather lost. There's really no downside to not trying something, as the worst case is loosing the person I work on English in-class stuff with. Other concern is that I, myself, drive about 20-25 minutes to get there. If she lives in the continuing direction from the college, that'd be over a 40min drive for her to meet up anywhere I would know about. I know I wouldn't drive that far just to meet a girl, hot or not. Advice? (sorry for the long post, kinda flow of consciousnessish)

"This could take part of my cunning; no, ALL of my cunning!" - Peter Griffin Sorry, just had to.

My dad did die. And then a whole town got so much happier.

I agree, concur, and sympathize.