njguy20

Hi, Im kind of having the same problem. I dont want to hijack the thread but, carolyn, your situation sounds very similar to mine. But there is a slight difference. Im 21, my gf of 2 years is 22, and we both are busy people and our schedules are very different day to day. We struggle to find time for each other. We both have different personalities, mine being more grounded and calmer about issues and arguments and hers is more aggresive and she tends to have mood swings. We are both very honest to each other and we love each other very very much, but we do get into arguments very easily. Usually its over something small. We have been trying to work out our differences and learn about each other but sometimes i feel like im trying to change and she isnt. Recently it seems she has been feeling that she cant do things naturally, or that she cant get upset about something. But ive been trying to tell her that her mood swings can be overly dramatic over things that are very small. I always feel guilty that im doing something wrong, or i dont listen to her properly. I feel like she doesnt want to bend for me as i have for her. Its almost like i learn about myself more from how our personalities clash, but she takes it more to heart and more personally in a negative way causing her to become defensive. Are we just not right for each other. We usually are able to talk things out, but later the same pattern will develop on another small thing. She is usually the one who gets angry and fuels the argument, while im trying to both figure out why it started and try to tone it down. I get very confused and hurt, and i feel guilty and angry all the time. Maybe feedback about my conflicts will help us both carolyn. I need help.

thats really up to you. Personally from oral, i like a lot more attention payed to the head ( sucking, licking) and less stroking. Its really YOUR preference there. But if you would like to pull from others and see what you like, then i have given you one approach.

Just to reassure you again, I am not circumsized, im 21, have had 2 partners in my life sexually and have never had a problem. Honestly, if YOU dont make it an issue with the girl, she most definitely wont. She will probably just be as insecure as you. So confidence in intimacy is very important. Listen to her, respond, and be confident yourself( dont ask questions, "is this ok" "does that hurt" or make demands. ) Just do what feels natural and pay attention to how she reacts, then change your rythm or touch until she responds positively. Working slowly is always your best bet at first. Then in subsequent sexual encounters, you can be more aggressive if it turns you BOTH on. Dont worry about it. Really, just be yourself and forget about the cliches. If she does say something about it then just say, "yea, im not circumsized and there really isnt anything wrong with it. I am a clean person as you can see and i really like what I see(meaning her body)." Confidence. I am just like you and never had a problem. Good luck!

Hi, I personally am not circumsized. I have wondered why not, but on the other hand i have never had a problem. The foreskin can become irriated from friction without lubrication, or just plain too much sex. Too much foreskin maybe a problem as is not enough. The average uncircumsized man's foreskin should retract enough while erect to expose the head of the penis. If lubrication is present he should not experience any problems. If pain does result than maybe there are other causes than sexual activity. The bleeding statement does tell me that there may be a lack of lubrication or maybe just being too rough. Try some different approaches to sex and see what happens. Use plenty of lubricants (i recommend ky's waming liquid, verrrry good for both ) and take your time. If he is still experiencing a problem, ask a doctor related to the area. Good luck, i hope that helps

Honestly, I would tell Ambrosia straight out how you feel. Tell her you are attracted to her, BUT, and emphasize the BUT, you love your gf and dont want to ruin your relationship. Compliment her in some way and tell her you cant be involved with her. You also have to take responsability for yourself and make some real choices. You are letting her play with you like a pinoccio doll. Shes hot, you obviously contemplate F***ing her, (not making love), and its natural for you to feel flattered. But you have to remember what is important to you. Tell your gf about her immediately. Be as honest as possible, she may get upset, but constantly reassure her of the situation and that you love her. But take action with Ambrosia first and tell her to stop. If your gf loves you she will forgive you and understand that you made a mistake by letting this go on. Youve put yourself in a bad spot by waiting so long to take action about this. Its all on you where you go from here.

Are you having sex when you want to, or are things kind of "planned". Sometimes, spontenaity(spelling??) is an incredible affrodiziac. If that doesnt work, then maybe something else is troubling you. Are you stressed out about something? Personally i have esperienced times when i was stressed out about something( not relating to the relationship) and i couldnt enjoy sex. I felt disconnected, even though my g/f was doing nothing wrong. If you are generally having problems having an orgasm, even by yourself, then you might have other problems mentioned above. But it can be a number of things.

Thanks for the opinion, I know how awful it can be to not trust the person you are with. Myself and my g/f both came out of relationships where we were lied to and cheated on, both ended badly, very badly. So we both appreciate honesty even when it hurts to hear certain things. I noticed that you are 18, which tells me you probably havent gotten too far out on your own yet in life, so i can understand why you wouldnt take such risks. Honestly you dont have to. If at anytime you deem your partner unfaithful or untrustworthy then you have a right to end the relationship, BUT its very important to hear their side of the story and at least attempt to understand their feelings. If you "beat around the bush" about troublesome topics, they will eventually blow up later on. Im not a fan of "just let it go", maybe for a time, but not forever. small problems always grow bigger if not dealt with. You are young enough not to have to worry about long term relationships and if you have such a strict attitude i suggest not carrying on any serious relationships until you are ready to let someone control your heart. Thats really the commitment of love, after you have grown with a person and felt their attraction, observed their little nuances, meet with their life goals, and deeply understand your feelings for them, you must have the ability to say "I love You" and mean it in a way that is saying "i give myself to you." It means letting someone look at you naked(in a matter of speaking) and accept you, and pick out your faults, but accept those as well, and help you become a better person. If you are not ready to do that, you will never be comfortable in a long term relationship. It is litterally a give and take on ALL levels while understanding your mate in good times and in bad. Sorry for talking so much, but i feel like you may be a bit too jumpy in that department. Showing trust is the first step to gaining it. You have to let the one you love make mistakes and understand that they will, but that they still love you. Of course, you will know when they are using you or have been lying about their feelings. That is when it is time to make choices about terminating the relationship. I hope that helps you

thanks for replying so quickly! i feel welcome already. We are both the kind of people who believe trust and honesty walk hand in hand with a good relationship. I do trust her and we are always very honest with each other. Sometimes that honesty can hurt us but, in the long run we are thankful for it. I think she told me because she felt guilty for having such feelings. I did get a little upset about it but i kept my cool and didnt explode. I did however express that it made me uneasy that she was having these feelings, especially since it was a second occasion. But what she has told me is that it is nothing more than a distant crush and that the other guy might not even like her. I love her so much that i try my hardest to understand her actions and feelings before i react to things. I thought about this instance over the past two days very much and we did have a talk about things. She has reassured me that its nothing more than a crush and we talked about people whom we've seen and been attracted to, and always come to the conclusion that we are right for each other. We do connect on a level that is beyond our years. We have been together for 2yrs this february and we both look forward to the day we get married. We talk about it regularly but never put any pressure on making it happen. Its almost like we fell into each other's laps after similar struggles in life and were lucky enough to open up to each other and find a love that will endure. I love her, i really love her so much i cant describe it. I know that she loves me and she has proved it again and again. I just have to let this blow past me and be confident in our love. If something does happen then i must deal with it the best i can. But i dont see that happening. Thank you for your advice, i am starting to feel better. Mystik, i think your words rang true for me and i thank you for being so honest. I must admit that i have been attracted to other women before but i never forget who i love. I have to believe that she feels the same way as me. Thanks again.

Hi I live in new jersey and im 21 and in college. My g/f is a year older and we ahve a great relationship with each other. We are both very honest and loving toward each other. We have our differences at times but we always are able to come to compromises and talk with each other. The other day she told me hesitantly that she essentially has a small crush on another guy at work( same age as me). She has reassured me that she loves ME and that nothing will come of it. But this is the second time this guy has come up. She tells me that she only talks to him at work and is attracted to him but is committed and in love with me. I just want to know if this is something i should worry about? Is it ok for your lover to have a crush on another? Is this a normal occurrence? What should i look for to see if something really is developing despite her reassurences? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated. Im new so go easy