Carolyn

haha, Scout, I so know what you mean!

Yeah sure, I get it. I do love him for who he is, don't get me wrong! He's incredibly honest, loving, straight-forward.. he's great, otherwise I wouldn't be with him. However, sometimes I feel we don't communicate as easily as I communicate with others, who are more like me. He feels the same, I think he can communicate better with his best friend (who's ENTP) than with me. This is not a huge problem, we love eachother for who we are, and do our best to understand eachother as much as we can. But sometimes it's frustrating for both of us, especially since we feel we can never reach the level of emotional/intellectual intimacy you can feel with people who are more alike. Does this sound completely crazy or does someone recognize it?

Thank you all! It is very reassuring to learn that there are couples who are opposites and have happy relationships nonetheless. We knew we were different from the start and have the 'proof' now in our test results. This did make me have doubts.... because I believe that our relationship and communication would be easier if we were more alike. Luckily, we do agree on the big things in life like marriage (no), kids (yes please and so on.

Thanks Winschica You say your BF and you are completely different. Only in preferences/hobbies or also in personality?

Dear all I have been dating my BF for over a year now, and we are very much in love and planning to move in together in a few months. So it seems that all is good. However, sometimes I have serious doubts about our relationship because we are completely different personalities. And when I say completely, I mean completely. He is quiet, I am extroverted, he is rational, I am emotional, he likes to be spontaneous, I like to plan. Etc etc etc. Of course all these differences cause some tension in our relationship from time to time. If anyone of you is familiar with the MBTI (personality questionnaire based on the work of Jung), I am an ESJF and he is an INTP. Which means we are exact opposites. They say that opposites attract, and in our case, that is very true, but can they also have long lasting and happy relationship?

ratherbesailing, thanks for the 'guys point of view' on this one. I know that guys are not mind readers, so I know I will probably be the one to bring this up at some point. I am quite sure that he is happy with the situation as it is, but I am not really. Like this week: he is visiting a friend in Paris for 4 days, which is perfectly fine by me, but taking into account our busy schedules it means we don't see eachother for a full week. If we would live together it would be much easier for me, knowing that after 4 days I would see him again. Next week we both have plans with friends in the weekend, so I doubt we'll see eachother more than 2 nights. And yes, it would be more than possible to rent out my appt. it's even possible to keep it on for a while without renting it out, that would be a even better back fall position Well, since I still feel it's too early to actually move in, I think I'll discuss the possibility of just spending more nights together with him next week...

I think I didn't make myself clear enough in my last post. I always spend the night with him when we see eachother and then drive from his place to work (about 45-60 minutes) in the morning (we live in a densily populated area in Europe where cities are not that far apart, luckily ). Or the other way around, of course, when he visits me. So we have eachothers house keys and he usually he visits me 1 evening (+night) during the week, and I try to spend most of the weekend at his place, depending on other plans we have. Most of the other nights we have other engagements (sport, work, friends etc) in our own cities. So I can't really complain about the amount of time we spend together I suppose... It's just that after spending a few nights with him, I really miss him when I come home at night in my empty appartment. I don't want him to spend all his evenings with me, I am quite busy with other things myself, but I would just LOVE it when I could just sleep next to him after a fun night with friends. Well, I guess you all know the feeling It would be hard to do that, logistically, for instance it would mean driving to eachothers place late at night more often, but I suppose I could bring it up to see if he would be up for it. I suppose it is only reasonable to express my need in our relationship, but I just don't want to put any pressure on him (after all, he IS a man who needs his space from time to time )

Thanks guys for all the advice. I know it is probably a little fast to discuss moving in, especially after the recent doubts we had. The thing is that I have my own appartment now (bought it 5 years ago) but I don't like the city I am living in anymore. I like the city he lives in much, much better (was actually thinking of moving there before I met him), but I'm afraid finding an afforable yet reasonable rental place is just impossible there. Anyhow, I own my own place now, so I guess you all understand I am not that keen on renting anymore. So basically I have only 2 options when I really want to move: moving in with him or buying my own new appartement (which I would have to keep for a few more years of course, which would mean that moving in within the next few years would be hard) Sooooo... I think the wisest thing for me would be to wait a few more months to see how things are going and then bring up that I want to move and see what his reaction is. What do you think? The other thing is that I would really like to see him a bit more often... at least spend the night more often. Do you think this is something I could bring up?

Hi people I need some advice here... my bf (30 yrs) and I (27 yrs) have been together for about 10 months now. Things are going pretty well between us now, but we did have a rocky period a few months ago. We both have very different personalities and after the first honeymoon phase had past (about 7 months into the relationship), we both (but especially by bf) started to have doubts whether we would be compatible long term. This led to a lot of frustration and long difficult conversations, but in the end we decided to try the best we could to make our relationship work because we really love eachother. Now things have been really great for the last month or so, and I actually feel that all the talking has brought us closer together. Okay, so all is good, it seems..... well, not really, because now things are so good between us, I am actually already thinking about the next step... moving in together! We do not live very close to eachother and try to see eachother 3-4 nights a week. However, since we both have very active social lifes and both travel a lot for work, we sometimes don't see eachother for a week or longer. And I start to miss him more and more on the days that I don't see him... I would really love for us to move in together within the next 6 months or so. The other thing is that I am quite sick of the place I am living now and am planning to move next year, anyway. It seems silly to buy or rent a new place for just me, when I'd rather move in with my bf.....I haven't discussed this with my bf yet, and frankly, I'm quite scared to do so. I know he is a very cautious person and not someone to make quick decisions about this kind of thing. I am really, really scared that he will not be ready to move in with me and turn me down... so I need some advice.. what should I do?