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Regretfulman

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  1. Regretfulman
    All you can do in these situations is establish a plan of NC, and heal yourself as good as you can, work on yourself, and send your ex a message through the NC. Maybe someday he/she will come back, or maybe they won't, but at least by doing NC, you have a better chance, and you feel better about yourself too
  2. Regretfulman
    OCD, i'm in a similar situation with my ex right now and it is really hard dealing with the mixed messages. We have been broken up for 7 weeks, and she is almost always the one to call or send e-mails to me. Everytime we talk it starts out great, and then I ask her to hang out or I ask about "us" and soon the chat turns bad. She sounds so sweet when she calls, it's very misleading, very mixed signals, and it's not fun. She called me one day, and i didn't pick up. She called right back again, i didn't pick up. The next day she called me again right after she left work, and left me a one minute voice message. I let a few female friends of mine listen to her message, and they told me she wants me back, based on the tone of her voice. I can't go on that though, because i know this girl is confusing, and plays games. When i finally did talk to her, i got a totally different vibe from her, and i felt deceived, we got into a fight and that was it. I have since decided to never call again, and to not respond to her if she contacts me, it is the only way right now. The same holds true for you, stay strong and ignore her for once, it will work wonders, trust me
  3. Regretfulman
    well good man, you will never ever go wrong by going NC, it's really the only way to go, for your healing, and your possibility of getting back together. Be patient and see what happens, my guess is it will drive her crazy that you suddenly decided to walk away, the future may be bright for you, just be strong and let her come to you
  4. Regretfulman
    bsp_kjm, is this girl seeing someone else? i read your thread and i get the feeling someone else is in this picture. my first guess is that she is using you as backup when she isnt with the new guy, and keeping you interested just in case things don't work out with him. Stick to NC or you will kill yourself with the pain, trust me
  5. Regretfulman
    if the ex wants nothing to do with you, then you might not have any way to even the playing field. However, just because they arent contacting you right away after the break up means nothing. Give it some time, sometimes it takes several weeks or many months before an ex starts to miss you, but as always, No contact is your best weapon in this war, goodluck
  6. Regretfulman
    Think about it, when you were dumped by your ex, they took something away from you, right? They took the romantic relationship that you two had, and they walked away. Then they have the nerve to ask you to "just be friends". Well, that is just not fair in my book, and I don't think you should think it's fair either. Most of us will get weak and give in, and take whatever type of relationship the ex decides to give out. This is a huge mistake, especially is you are hoping that you two will eventually get back together. What you need to do is even the playing field with your ex, because continuing to be in touch with them will only let them know that you are always there, it's a source of comfort for them, and they take you for granted. What the dumpees need to do is take away what's left of the relationship, the friendship, and walk away, just like your ex walked away with the romantic part of the relationship. Until you do this, they will always have the upper hand and power. At least when you walk away and decide to not be friends, they see you have power, and are not a toy to be played with Not only does walking away and refusing to not be a toy send your ex a message, it also causes pain for them. Breaking up is tough for the dumper too, but not nearly as hard as it is for the dumpee. The dumper knows, or at least hopes that you will stick around and be friends, thereforeeee they don't grieve nearly as much. But when those of us who were dumped finally do walk away and mean it, the dumpers suddenly start to feel a similar pain to the pain they caused you after the break up. Before you know it, you have equality in a way, because each of you decided to walk away in some fashion, the playing field is more level. You now have a better chance of negotiating since you are more equal, instead of the dumper having all the power. To sum it all up, when you were dumped you had something taken from you, and your only hopes of getting it back are when you decide to take something from the one who dumped you. When you are dumped, you can do some dumping of your own by refusing to be "just friends" with the ex, and you may not think thats big, but trust me, many times the dumper is expecting you to chase them still and settle for friendship, and when you refuse it and walk away, they are shocked and start to experience a small but powerful rejection, just as u did when they dumped you.
  7. Regretfulman
    thank you everyone for your appreciation of my posts, i'm doing this for you, we are all in the same boat here. I have many thoughts to share with you guys, and im so happy i can be of some help. I wish everyone the best with everything, and hopefully things will turn out for the best
  8. Regretfulman
    Very true, anyone who says life is black and white is dead wrong, there are many shades of grey. There is never any way to know for sure if an ex will return, but based on my own experience and that of friends and family, it's almost a sure thing to happen. The only question is when they return, and what they want when they return. Sometimes its just friendship, sometimes its just curiosity, but i think if a good deal of time goes by and the ex is calling, its a pretty good sign they are trying to rekindle something. But like i've said many times before, don't get your hopes up, or read too deep into someone's words. There is always a chance, yes, but there is also a chance that there won't be a chance, so stay strong and move on, time will tell what will happen, be patient and enjoy life.
  9. Regretfulman
    Life is not easy, people are complicated, i want my one ex back too, and it is no fun right now, but i realize people need to find their way back to you. Love is not simple, its complex
  10. Regretfulman
    For those of us who are wondering whether or not their ex will ever come back, this is for you. There are never any rules when it comes to matters of the heart, humans are far more complicated then we might seem at times. You can never know for sure what the future will bring you, and because of this, we must learn to move on and take care of ourselves first. Is there a good chance of the ex returning someday? I think the answer is YES, and i do believe they always come back in some capacity. I have 2 examples here to illustrate my point. A good friend of mine was dumped by his girlfriend of 7 years, one week later she was dating someone else. My buddy was devastated, and he thought there was no chance of ever getting back. He tortured himself thinking of the possibility of them coming back to each other, and then one day he gave up on his dream. He started dating other girls, and finally he met someone who could take his mind off the ex. Shortly after he began seeing this new girl, his ex was calling him, crying for him back. She broke up with the new guy, and within a week they were back together and now they are engaged and living together happily. The second story is about an ex of mine who broke up with me after 1 and a half years together. I was badly hurt, and i did all the wrong things to get her back, until i pushed her away for good. Months went by and she got engaged, but when i found out, i didn't care anymore cuz i was over her totally. They got married, and shorty after, she decided she made a mistake and wanted me back. To this day she wants me back, but i don't even think of her ever. I would never even talk to this girl anymore. Once i finally decided to move on, i healed, and then she came back, same thing with my buddy. I know many stories where the ex comes back, some end good and others end badly. One thing i have noticed is that women usually are the ones who come back more then guys, i think because they are far more emotional and don't think with their heads as much as men do. Women can have a single emotional moment and totally change things in their life drastically, i have seen it many times. Bottom line is: there is always hope, but don't count on hope to get you by, you must move on and that is when you will find the exes coming around, but only when you have healed yourself, goodluck!!!
  11. Regretfulman
    I hope everyone who was doing NC for the thanksgiving holiday maintained it. We need to be especially strong during this time of year, as memories of the past come creeping back into our heads and make us desire the ex even more. We must put those memories away and think of something else, whatever it takes do not give in. Christmas and New Years will be an even bigger temptation to buckle and call the ex, but dont do it. Stay strong and you will benefit
  12. Regretfulman
    I hope everyone who reads this sticks to NC today, and throughout the holiday season, it will pay off in the end in many ways, STAY STRONG!!!
  13. Regretfulman
    All this talk about No Contact is right on the money, nothing can help you heal, while at the same time, increasing your chances of reuniting with your ex, like going NC. Today is Thanksgiving, and it is a time when those of us who are hurting are longing to hear from the ex. Temptation is strong to contact them, but you must not do it. If they contact you, ignore it, knowing they are contacting you should make you feel good in itself, but don't send yourself tumbling downward by answering that call, it will only cause pain. Not contacting the ex during the holidays will send them a strong message. You must stick to this and not get weak, or you will find yourself back at the starting line again, dealing with all of your pain once more. Move on as best you can, take care of yourself, try to meet new people, and take your mind off things. No Contact is the best and only medicine for a broken heart, the only cure. After weeks or months of NC, you will find yourself healing nicely or even totally healed. One day, out of the blue, you will hear from the ex, and chances are they will be wanting to talk about more then the weather. Now suddenly the roles have reversed, and you are in control now. You may even find that you have no desire to even pick up that call, its magic, you are cured!!! If you do decide to listen to what the ex has to say, at least you will finally be talking to them with a clear head, thinking with your head and not your heart. Maybe at some point you will get back together, but on your terms, of course. No contact works wonders, don't underestimate the power of it people, use it, and be thankful for it this thanksgiving holiday!!!
  14. Regretfulman
    Problem is she won't meet with me right now, and last time we talked we got into a fight, so i'm sure she is mad at me now. She didn't call me on my birthday, and im sure she won't call today, on thanksgiving. I think its best to just go to NC right now and if she ever comes back around and is willing to meet, then i should sit down with her and tell her my feelings and hope for the best. thank you for your input
  15. Regretfulman
    he may have stars in his eyes, but trust me, the grass is rarely greener on the other side. The honeymoon stage only lasts for a short while, soon they will be fighting just like everyone else who is in a real relationship. Just wait it out, time always tells, and im sure he will still miss you, even if he is spending the holidays with the new girl. Human psychology is a complicated thing, but all you need to worry about is the NC part, good luck and stay strong during the trying times of the holidays!!!
  16. Regretfulman
    Stay Strong People, No Contact Is The Way To Go, And Sometimes It Takes Several Weeks And Even Months Before The Ex Comes Around Enough To Make Serious Contact. Remember Though, That Nc Is For You To Heal, Hopefully When The Ex Does Eventually Call, And They Always Do, You Will Have Moved On, And You Won't Even Have A Desire To Answer The Call. That Is The Best Feeling In The World!!!
  17. Regretfulman
    Think about it, the holidays are a special time, a time when people put aside their differences and try to get along, people reach out to each other, forgive each other, feel warm inside. Does this mean we should contact the person who dumped us? Absolutely Not!!! Your ex will surely be thinking of you during the holidays, especially if you guys spent the holidays together the previous year. I know when the holidays come around, I'm always reminded of the past, my family, my friends, the events that took place in the years prior. There is no doubt that your ex will have you on his/her mind during these times. They will be thinking of what happened the previous year, the time you guys spent together. This will make him/her miss you very much, and they will probably reach out to you. It is very important that you don't contact them at all, in any way, and don't answer them if they contact you. You must be strong and send them a message that they aren't a priority in your life anymore, you have moved on. The holidays are the perfect time to send a strong message to the ex, and you must take advantage of that. Let them be the weak ones for a change, and if they don't contact you, don't let it bother you. You must understand that they are thinking of you in some way, because everyone thinks of the people who have come and gone in their lives, during the holiday season, thats what it's for. Don't use the holidays as an excuse to be weak and contact, use it as a time to be strong, and send an even stronger message to the ex. One last thing, don't feel guilty by not contacting the ex during the holidays, and don't think that it will ruin any chance of a second chance. if anything, doing no contact during this time will drive the ex crazy wondering why on earth you didn't give in, why on earth they aren't a priority in your life anymore. They will miss you, think of you, and maybe second think their decision to leave you in the first place. Remember people, the holidays are powerful times, they can bring out the best and worst in us, so don't miss your chance to make a statement!!!
  18. Regretfulman
    Please People, The Only Way To Go In No Contact!!!
  19. Regretfulman
    One thing i will say is that it is never too late to implement NC. no matter how far you pushed someone away after the break up, if you go to NC, chances are at some point the dumper will finally realize what they are truly missing in their lives....YOU. I agree though, that until NC is added to the equation, nothing positive will happen, for many reasons. I will also say that every break up is different too. Many times the dumper is the one contacting the dumpee, and this to me shows that they are still not over the one they dumped. You still must do NC even when the ex is calling, make them want you so bad it hurts. NC is good for every situation, no doubt, but it especially works when your ex is not contacting you
  20. Regretfulman
    You must continue with the No Contact, trust me. Until she notifies you that she is ready to come back to you, and is done with the new guy, you must be strong and resist her. This is an important time for you, you can't mess this part up, you are almost there. Keep the NC going, or if you can't do that, only talk to her for a brief chat here and there, and tell her you have things to do. Be civil and cordial to her, but don't show too much emotion.
  21. Regretfulman
    hey wwj, if you 2 were together for a couple years, and living together, a month of no contact is nothing. It may take several months for him to realize what he has done and what he has lost. Give it time, they say that it takes half the total time you were together to get over your ex, meaning if you dated 2 years, it's going to take at least 1 year for the both of you to be totally over each other, and it makes sense. Keep waiting and sticking to NC, and you will see that i am right
  22. Regretfulman
    No Contact Works For Moving On And Getting An Ex Back, My Point Was Simple: Use No Contact And Get Over Your Ex, Then When He/she Calls Wanting You Back Someday, You Have Options. If You Are Over Her Totally, Then Thats Great, Tell Them "no", If Not Then You Can Try A Second Time To Make It Work. Nc Simply Gives You Options Instead Of Always Being The Chaser
  23. Regretfulman
    no, the sweet revenge is when you don't want the person anymore, it's justice. it's not anything but moving on with you life, and when the person that dumped you decides they want you, guess what? it's too late, and it teaches them a lesson, it's not with ill-will, its actually a life lesson that needs to be learned.
  24. Regretfulman
    this girl is not worth it, let me tell you, you must block her off your IM list. When my ex dumped me, i blocked her and i went 1 whole month with no contact, then all of a sudden i got curious and wanted to see her away message, so i unblocked her. I was so tempted to say something, so i said "hi" and 5 minutes later she signed off. I was devastated, so i text messaged her like 5 times, and called her once. The next day i called her 3 times before she picked up, and she was glad to hear from me. She said she didn't even see my instant message, i was so pissed. i thought she was ignoring me, and i lost it, all because i unblocked her, always always keep her blocked, never give in to temptation. do you really want to someday see an away message that will break your heart? trust me, blocking her is the best thing to do
  25. Regretfulman
    You can't give your ex what he/she wants, you have to remember that they took something from you, now you must take something from them, it's your only bargaining tool. If you stay in contact with your ex as friends, they can keep tabs on you, feel safe and secure knowing you are always around. Then they are free to find someone else and date, knowing all the while that they can come back to you, and thats not right. You have to even the playing field by taking away that crutch, that friendship, and make them suffer a little too, its' the quickest way to get them back, the longer you stay in touch, the longer it will be before they miss you and want you back, simple as that.
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