J a m e s

i guess this is that down period during NC, but i'm determined to be strong, your strength sibling295 gives me strength i dont feel as bad as i did a couple of days ago, i think more confusion comes into the equation now. i will just concentrate on myself again, and make myself stronger. even i noticed that i was more defensive when chatting to others since i heard from her, its like i clammed up. i will no doubt, for sure be posting my progress here again later and tomorrow. thanks for the replies, it really helps to read others comments and gets me through the day.

well, im back posting here again. today has been hard so far, i think because i felt i had come so far just for it to all come smashing down. now things are playing on my mind, thinking too much about my ex and what she is upto - if she does miss me - the usual thoughts. its been 2 months since we split, and i feel today i have made no progress within myself i feel alone again, lost. i know i need to pick myself up again, but its proving difficult.

just venting some feelings since i heard from my ex, it really has eaten at me. tonight i felt alone again and how i did a few weeks back. it seems to have knocked me sideways, just having a simple text from her. i thought i had gotten through the wondering what they are doing etc feelings but they have all came back i just wanna move on, it just seems so hard to do so.

Hi K this is true, if that had been a couple of weeks ago i would of replied and made myself feel even worse im sure. NC is a healer, even if it does kill you from the inside - just got to be strong!

been a good day as had NC so i can get back to my routine of getting on. It has still played on my mind all day though, just trying to absorb the thoughts and get myself moving forward again.

good post FCTex, and im sure everyone posting in this section can relate to it.

i would do that, but my phone is a contract and it has a good number if i get another text, i will just delete and not even read it. i dont know how can she text me and just carry on like normal. does she not understand how much it **** me up when she makes contact

i sure will vent here tbh i wouldnt of known how i would of coped if it wasnt for this forum. why do these things happen to us, and why ooo why did she text. its gonna play on my mind for days now NC is the way forward to healing and when it has been broken it kills, i feel like i've gone back 2 weeks in my healing process

i will get the bank account sorted, will ring them tomorrow. it feels like such a blow hearing from her, NC really does work and this has just set me back it feels

the mail goes to both address' as we have a joint bank account. today has gone from bad to worse!

not to sure, but i'll have a copy at my address to. i wish she never text me

hi, i know you said dont contact. got a letter from the bank can you sort. hope you are feeling better now.

i am, just caught me off guard and hit me for 6

just getting a text, has made my stomach turn

i just had a text from my ex, asking about a letter from the bank... was 2 weeks NC, i have deleted text and will not reply! arrghh she just text again. help!

hi jodie23 i can really relate to how you are feeling, as im as good as the same boat. No contact will be the way forward, for sure. im doing this and i will admitt it is killing me, but this is the only way for me to move on with my life. Also if he can hurt you like that, is he really worth bothering with? it seems he has no respect for you. keep your head afloat and pamper yourself, you will get through this.

well, here i am again. its the weekend, and i went out last night and people i had not seen for a while asked how i was. i had to go through the drama of telling them that i wasnt with my ex etc. kind of brang me on a downer for the weekend but im determined to pull through. i hate these relapses that i get, seems like 3 steps forward 2 steps back. i cant wait for the day when im fully healed, and dont have to feel these relapses.

i can reflect on what polaris is saying, going cold turkey. as hard as it sounds, it is the only way to make any real progress within yourself. when i first split with my ex we still text and chatted every now and then for a couple of weeks, then the texts were mainly from my ex asking for money which really hurt and still does. this made it alot harder for me, than having no contact. at one point i sent her flowers to which i got no acknowledgement from her at all, this tore me apart. it did make me realise though that she wasnt the person i thought she was, she had changed. to be honest this annoyed me more than splitting up at first, not having even a text saying "thanks" or anything. i wish you strength and hope for the weekend, if you feel yourself sinking grab that buoyancy aid i threw you, as we both know you have the strength to keep afloat.

hi danylion, im guessing it is the morning where you are? Believe me, he will be thinking of you even though he doesnt seem to let out he is. You have read my relationship situation, and i havent heard from my ex in nearly 2 weeks. Im sure she still cares and thinks about me, as i still think of her alot and those feelings just cant be shut off for any person. You can get through this sinking feeling this today, here! have a buoyancy aid! I know you can pull through this and regain your strength, there is power in you yet! James.

thats good, im glad you feel more postive. remember that feeling and work on it, it is what is keeping me going and getting stronger. i know i will sink some more (i was down this morning from my earlier post), but this is the way the mind deals with it i suppose. you cant be happy if you are not sad first i guess, like everything in the universe theirs 2 sides to everything, and each side needs each other to survive or grow. i feel more positive to just by letting out my feelings and thoughts, i can read them back and understand what im going through as strange as that sounds. i dont think my love will ever go away, but as you say it shifts to another level. if i see her in the street even in 6 months or a year my stomach will turn over and my heart will skip a beat. i have learnt alot from my ex about love, myself and general life. i suppose love is like i book, we learn from it and i guess depending on how thick that book is, it depeneds on how long it lasts - seems my ex has read my book and moved on, when i had not finished hers.

i find it good also, that like me, you and the others that we can let it out and talk it over and get advice on this site. as you say it is sink or swim, and at first i was sinking quite badly - i think if you could imagine i hit the bottom. i think something inside changes when this happens. i was chatting to a good friend who said "well know you've hit the bottom and been there, its now time to come back" which although sounds stranged helped me alot. this happens to people everyday and it takes different lengths of time for people to focus on themselves. the time does come, i've come along leaps and bounds but i still love my ex with all my heart and it still hurts not to be with her. even by reading my posts i can see this to, i have a new chapter in my life opened up that i didnt have before. i really hope you do become stronger danylion, you seem to me to have the strength to get through it and although mad as it sounds, see the positives of not being with the ex and starting this new chapter in your life.

thanks for your post danylion i do feel a stronger person, and this is one of lifes tests i guess. its just trying to get through the low points and pick myself up, which is getting easier each time i feel low. it has kind of helped me the split up to, as i have made more of an effort in myself and confidence/attitude. discovering my weaknesses and working on them. even the secretary at work commented to my boss that i seemed more outgoing and talkative to what i used to be, so i everyday is progress and that is how i intend on looking at it. look forward today, and not backward tomorrow i guess.

hi Janim i can kind of relate to your situation, but im the male in it. I have been posting on this forum, cos my girlfriend and I split after 6 years, which i wasnt expecting - we got together when she was 16 and i was 18, with us living together for around 2 years. we did everything together, but when you move in this is when things change. as we all know males are completely different to females (i have discovered this more trying to understand why we split) when we did move in, you get comfortable and things slide a little - the effort in the relationship evapourates through know ones fault. it seems to me that the female still yearns for that excitement where as the male has made his territory and is quite happy how things are. your feelings are not gonna change overnight, if they are settling in now - my ex and i have been split for 2 months and i cant see her changing her mind now with us getting back together, we are not even talking at the moment either your post thought has really helped me understand her feelings, and what she was probably kind of thinking to. i would recommend sitting your boyfriend down and having a chat about it, but this will be very hard as he may not listen very well to it, or just flip his lid. maybe space between each other is what you need, so you both can grow and let your feelings inside decide what is best.

its been a few days since i posted, but it feels like a lifetime. i was doing well at the beginning of the week, but now im starting to fail again and think alot about the ex. its been 10 days now of NC, even though we have split up for nearly 2 months. i have come to terms it is over, and not thinking every text i get is from her or that we are gonna get back together. i just feel so helpless now, starting to feel that hole in my life again and thinking how she is, and what she is doing.

hi im glad you are feeling stronger, remember that feeling and try to keep it. i admit im still struggling, but i read back on my posts i have made here and pull myself through. just gotta keep thinking positive and concentrate on your feelings and not what you think the ex is thinking, its your life so we need to grasp that and take control.