MyEyesHurt

I have. I ened up cheating on her, then she cheated on me, it was a whole mess. Not many relationships can recover from cheating.

Hi, I'm in a weird situation here I don't know if it's my fault or not but it sure feels like it. There's this girl. I've known her for almost four years, she's probably the closest person to me. In September of 2004 we started going out and on New Years that year I got very, very drunk and we had a huge fight (which I blacked out completely) and broke up. After a month of no contact we started talking again and soon we were very close again. We dated on and off. I got sick of on-again off-again this summer and tried to start something serious but she couldn't trust me after the way our last serious attempt ended (My fault). I backed off and we stayed friend. Then around Christmas of this year we got together, she stayed over with my family, we got each other great gifts it was just really great altogether. I had to work on Christmas Eve and right before I left she kissed me. I didn't see her for two days, when she called we got to talking and decided to give a serious relationship another try, and this was a bit of a surprise to me, I'd given up hope. About a week ago she found out I had sex with one of her friend. (Now before you crucify me, this happened in the fall after she couldn't trust me when we were doing our own things and barley talking. She introduced me to this friend of hers at a party in the summer and at the time they were just acquaintances. They didn't become friends until after we hooked up.) I called my girlfriend and asked her if she wanted to come over she asked if she could bring a friend and I said sure. To my surprise it was that friend. We just hung out and everyone got a bit drunk at which point the friend suggested a threesome and my girlfriend freaked out, we all laughed and keeps drinking. I had to call in work and when I came back I found my girlfriend crying. Apparently the friend had told her what had happened between us that one time. She kept crying and asked me to leave (my house) I went for a walk and when I came back she was acting like nothing happened. Now she doesn't want to talk about it, she's incredibly distant, in fact I haven't seen her since in person (we both have hectic schedules). I know she's upset about, even her brother called me and asked what had happened but she says "nothing". I know she's very upset but I don't know what to do. I need an outside opinion. How much of this is my fault, what should I do now?

Communication is out strong point. She's the type to say everything is fine. She's supposed to be flying back monday, or moving right in with me and having her brother bring up all her stuff when he comes in at the end of the month.

You're right it is her decision and now mine, but she is asking me weather or not she should move back. What happeneds when she moves back in with me and she hasn't compleatly forgiven me? I've dragged her away from her life and screwed with her life again. That's what i'm scared of.

There are... trust issues, since our brake up. Mean she doesn't trust me. I cheated on her. I was at a party and I was drunk, and i did tell her the next morning, but it's not an excuse. I havn't been doing all too well without her, and she hasn't either, so she tells me. I screwed things up once, I don't want to make it worse. Then again, I don't know what I'd do without her.

This needs a tinny bit of background info. My ex and I broke up in March, it was my fault I ruined everything. We've talked once of twice, very hostile. Shortly after that she moved out of state. Then in July I ran into her in a bar, turn out she's visiting relatives for the summer and we've been talking a lot. And I realized that I'm still in love with her, but since the reason we broke up was my fault I didn't say anything to her until she told me she still had feeling for me. Since then we've been talking a lot about possibly getting back together, she's even willing to give up her job and move back here. What should I do? I love her, and I want her to be happy. But I don't know if dropping her life and coming back here to try it again with me would make her happy in the long run.

I doubt she's doing it out of spite, but we can't get past this odd phase. Whatever happens with us, whatever we do it always come back to her telling me she doesn't want a serious relationship, she seems content on telling me how much she loves me then push me away. No contact isn't really an option either, since she's moved back she's drifted back into my social circle and I see her everywhere I go. She even works with me.

I used to go out with this girl. I love(d) her to death. But I completely wrecked everything and we broke up. We talked now and then but not often. I felt like crap about wrecking everything but the less we talked the less I cared and it seemed like I'd get over it. Recently we've started talking again and she's telling me how she has all these feeling for me. She doesn't want a relationship, she just wants to tell me how much she loves me. What's going on? Is she trying to remind me how bad I messed up so she can deal? I was fine for two months! One phone call and I'm in pieces.

I'm just going to add one little thing, in my personal experience, when a girl goes on a trip (or something) and says she needs to put things in perspective, everything is exactly the same when she returns.

After we broke up we stayed friends and had this on again off again thing, everything I can think of for this type of date we've done as friends. I need something that would say "serious relationship", I guess dinner is the way to go.

I posted last week about reconciling with my ex-girlfriend. I'm taking her out Sunday night for the first time since we broke up four months ago, and we'll see how it goes from there. It's kind of a strange situation because I don't know where to take her. Just dinner? Dinner and a movie? Spend the day together? What would be appropriate here? Any advice on what to do/how to handle this would be appreciated.

This is going to kinda vague, but I've been accused of at time being distant. How would you make a girl you're in a serious relationship with feel loved?

Yes I did, many times. Even if she is play a game, I've gathered for my friends, her friend, mutual friends that I have at times treated her rather coldly, sort of more as a friend then a significant other. I love her but maybe she's right, maybe I haven't done anything to show her that I love her. Or maybe she is manipulating me.

That's good advice, i'll do that. Exept I know what she'll do, she'll run away. And maybe she'll come back and maybe she will not. I don't know, maybe I should just end this. Her said something like "If I tell you what it is there couldn't be anything between us anymore. But I can tell you, for your next girlfriend, save her the trouble." And that really makes me think like i'm missing something. I mean she has never done/said anything like this so called test, she not one to play mind games.

The thing is, we're not going out right now. And she want to go out with me again, and needs to know that I love her. I don't think it's so much of a test as something that I, according to her, have never done that, again according to her, is so simple and essential to every relationship. I'm not too comfortable with the idea of a test myself.

I'm 20, she's 19. I love her. She wants to trust me, and she wants a normal, stable relationship. She's away for a couple of days and im supposed to figure this out before she comes back.

She's terrified of the idea. I think we're too young anyway.

I have. When we fist started going out I cheated on her. I was at a party and I was drunk, when I realized what I did I told her. We kept going out after that. "You say it but you never show it." I Don't know what im not doing...

Hey. My ex and I are very close, it's odd I know. We both still have feeling for each other. We've been doing this on-off thing since we broke up 4 months ago and we're at the point where things are either going to one way or the other. Her issue is that she doesn't feel loved, she doesn't trust me and she want me to prove I love her. According to her there's something I'm not doing, something "simple". I really don't want to loose her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.