gs121

forget him, how can someone tell you that he/she loves you and continues to, only if you lost weight or were hotter? you deserve much better, if you doubting your relationship, just go... definitely don't waste your time, when someone else will appreciate you for who you are and how you look..

my ex is doing the same to me, but I don't know what her intentions are. she said she would drop off my stuff a month ago and I"m still waiting. its strict nc and she hasn't made the attempt to get back to me on dropping my stuff off.. I know I should drop the issue and forget it, but its the principle I think, since it is my stuff... any suggestions at this point?

Do you know how hard this is? It may never be possible, and if it did happen, it could take a long time to get to that stage. Try being friends with an ex that you love dearly and she has a BF......your heart would be trampled on over and over, knowing that she goes home to him now and not you, knowing you have been replaced. When being friends are you able to cope with her telling you her BF problems and issues? Fact of the matter, it is almost impossible to saty friends with an ex after a breakup. It takes along time to be ready to do that, usually when most of feelings have faded and you are in a stronger state of mind I agree... being friends with ex is the hardest thing to do... especially when they break your heart... when my ex and I broke up, she kept wanting to be friends.. I told her never, because 1.) I will never settle for less; and let her get the easy way out... 2.) don't want to deal with her lovers and issues 3.) as she said no to our relationship, then I'll say no to friendship..because that's not what I want and that's not what we had... If you want to know the details, here is the link.. link removed This has helped me heal and forget about her.. after full NC of almost 3 months, do I miss her? sure I do.. but if she doesn't want to be with me, then I have no choice but to let her go... as long as I know I did my part in the relationship and gave it my all, I don't have any regrets. after all, she did end it, and that's why she is an ex.. and you know what, its her loss and the next person's gain... I see it as just a segment of my life that we shared, and nothing more, and now I'm on to the next...

well, when you try to ignore her, you always give in... so she sees that she can be friends with you without having a relationship... being friends with her, she won't know how to miss you or "live" without you.. that's why the 2nd chance isn't on her mind.. because you are always there! I would just continue to have no contact with her to let her get herself together.. and what's this don't like hanging out with her boyfriend? "She always told me she wasn't happy with her new bf" what's the point then, of that relationship? she is just using him and you to play games! think about this... she said she wasn't happy with her new boyfriend, but will not give him up while supposedly she is happy with you (want to hangout with you more) and gave you up... and as for the birthday, just say something came up and that you can't make it.. don't settle for less..! remember, its all about YOURSELF, not her...!

yeah... congrats!!! I"m still waiting for mine..... already one month+! sigh... (shaking head)...

she sent me an email about two days ago... this past saturday I sent her a voicemail telling her that I'm was going to pick up my stuff the following day... She said she was sorry for replying late, she has been pretty busy taking care of stuff before leaving for school. She did get some of my stuff ready, but hasn't been able to gather all of it. She said that she got my message and that no one will be home when I want to pick it up. Since she doesn't have my stuff ready, she wants me to forgive her procrastination.. then she says she's sorry... that same day I called her and she said she would drop it off the next day before going to work, and then she ends up not calling or coming by... why is she taking so long in returning my stuff..? I near forgetting the whole thing... what to do? is she playing waiting games?

I guess I will have to wait for her reply and give her other options... I think maybe she is stalling; she knows that after I get my stuff, there will be no more contact... Why would you hold on someone's things when you don't want to be with him/her anymore..?

Hey all, Just wondering, a quick summary - been going out with my gf for short 5 years until she told me she wasn't in love with me, its her not me,etc. link removed NC for a month and then I emailed her to get back my stuff. I told her to pack everything away for me.. she called me back one day and we talked... I told her my position on giving 2nd chance to work it out, can't be her friend but only more... she told me she still had feelings for me and still loved me, but wanted to be friends, which I said no. There isn't anyone else... she gave me a line "then only time will tell if we were meant to be." I told her that I'm available but not forever, and she knows where to find me... and that the phone call was the last time we would ever talk as "near friends." after that I haven't talked to her or emailed her for about two weeks... I sent her an email asking her if she packed my stuff yet, and she didn't answer.. when I talked to her previous, she said she didn't yet.. I know that she is busy with work.. what I don't understand is why is she taking alot of time or not yet pack my stuff.. I mean if she doesnt want to be with me anymore, she would have quickly packed everything and would have gave it to me already.. is it that she is holding that as it is the only reason to talk to me? right now still NC with her, and that she is always at work.. any thoughts? thanks all!

I found out that she has no intentions of getting back with me, and if she does its out of pity, and that she has moved on- not sad or depressed at all.. she still wants to be friends, which I will NEVER let that happen... you can't be friends with exs after having a love history together.. how can she be so heartless and so cold... after all I have done and been through with her... after so many years together, its like I never knew her at all.... I have decided to just give up, over the past month I was going to give her a second chance, but after learning that if it does happen its out of pity, no.. I was hoping she would change her mind and try to work it out, but it doesn't seem like it anymore... she doesn't deserve to be my friend...

I want to thank everyone for giving me insight and that I greatly appreciate all your support during this hard time... its going to be very hard and stressful... =(

Hi all, wanted some really needed opinions... =( I have been dating this girl for about 5 years.... however, this year so far, seeing each other became hard. we had acknowledged that we would work harder to see each other, make time, etc.. which on my part I would purposely make time for her, as I had so much love for her... and also I have to say that I never treated her bad, never cheated on her, and I'm not a jealous person.. recently, we were talking, and she told me she wanted to talk about us. I agreed and then I find out that she wanted to break up with me. and had thought about this for the past few months.. she told me that she was confused with her emotions, pushed me away by not wanting to spend time and was cold to me, wasn't "inlove" with me anymore, but was only loving me as a person and friend.... I had asked her if there was someone else.. she said there wasn't, if she didn't have time for me, she wouldn't have time for another person..(open in the air, since I don't know) she said that she had many oppurtunities to see me, but she rather go to work or not see me at all.. she didn't like going online to see me, which was the only way we had.. she had told me that she felt she was wasting my time and couldn't commit to feelings as a gf.. she told me that all these things I just mentioned, she didn't know why she would feel this way and to do these things. she told me before that she wanted time alone and think, but with our current schedule, she had all the time she wanted to be alone.. since I wasn't seeing her anyway... I had told her about my feelings for her, my commitment, and my wanting to be with her... i had also acknowledged that it would be hard but as a couple, we would be able to work it out.. I had asked her why she never said anything earlier so we could have at least worked it out.. I will say that I was sometimes cold when I talked to her, because it was a result of my frustration of not seeing her, and she knew.. I had also told her that she committed to work too much.. but I never once had thought of breaking up with her.. I have started the NC thing.. esp since I was the one being dumped.. How can someone throw away 5+ years like that? we been through so many good times and bad... we basically were so intertwined with each other, and she doesn't feel anything or have any interest in me... she said that she still "loves me" but not in love with me..just want to be friends... could it be that there is more to that, that she doesn't want to tell me? I would never of thought that she would think about breaking up. I am just so depressed right now, I can't go about any minute not thinking about her.. I have been passing these days with a heavy sinking feeling in my heart.. I know I didn't do anything wrong, that is what hurts more... alot of guys cheat on their gfs or treat them badly, but I didn't and don't do those things.. I still have feelings for her and love her very much.. I doubt she has any feelings about the breakup, esp since she had thought about it for several months, so I don't think it affects her at all than me.. right now, I feel so withdrawn from everything and everyone.. My heart was broken really badly and I feel so betrayed... But I still have feelings for her... I just don't know what to think and do.. ..These five years meant alot to me, making it hard to give it up.. Im on NC for almost a week.. what should I do?