pearl1234

OK. so I agree with you guys and I won't make the move. It seems that guys never worry about risking a friendship over a potential relationship. So I figure if he is really interested, he would make a move. Although I did kind of discourage him a little bit by bringing up exs&setting up him with my female friends& other guy. but if he is really interested then those are not going to stop him. And they are all done business so I learned my lessons,won't let them happen again. I will just leave thingsas they are. I guess.

Poco: Hi, I hear what you are saying. But he didn't friendzone him, I think I friendzone myself I somehow think he is confused by himself and me. He came out really strong at least to my standard by saying" we should hang out next week". But after our looong talk. he kind of behaves strange: he invited me and ignored me...... who knows, he maybe confused or he lost his interest or he just want to test if he still gets it? The thing is I like him as a friend for sure. So I wonder if there is anything i can try(or try not to do) from my part to clear the air and give it a last shot? pearl

Hi, I think you made the right move. I think(or I hope) if it means to be, you don't need to pressure anything.

well, the thing is he is very social and confident. so I would image if he likes me more than friends he could done something. I don't really want to speak up to make the situation awkward or risk the friendship. At the same time, i don't want to be too friendly to make him only see me as a friend--just want to erase the damage I did but bringing up the exs/another guy.

DN: "I seek advice on another guy's issue and he said I should let it happen." OK, here is the situation, we were joking(at least myself) how to set each other up with our friends. then I mentioned there is another guy that he knows show interests. He said something like "I will break the guy's heart but he is a grow up let it be if that what I want". I know this is a stupid conversition. but..... after 5 hour talk I just couldn't think clear. I really hate game playing but somehow got into it I guess DN, any advice to clear the situation?

Guys: Hi, I thought I am very good at figuring out people but this time... I am so confused by a guy' We knew each other through work related stuff two monthes ago: 1.He kind of helped out my problem and I sent an thank you email. He responsed my email by saying want to get more detail of the solution and we should get together. 2. We got together at work place and talked about our work and personal hobby and start to talk to each other when we saw each other. So I thought he likes me but then somehow we got into the loooong talk about each other's ex es.(I started first) now we knew each others' relationship history. 3. And we brought each other to our friends gathering(he invited me to his friends' place first). 4. I became friendly to his co-workers/friends and start to talk to them. 5. I seek advice on another guy's issue and he said I should let it happen. 6. we hang out do stuff together. watch tv together. So I guess we are more like friends to each other now?! Or it could be that he got hurted too much from the recent ex so he wants to take thing slow? Or I didn't send positive enough signals and confused him? Since i think he is a good person but I don't know him long enough to have anything deeper yet(there could be), I am kind of OK either way. But the thing is he becomes really distant to me when we are around others--even the party he brought me to. But we are together all by ourself, he is very sweat and caring. I am just really confused](*,). I don't really know how to behave around him now what should I do?

thanks so much for all those response! I feel much better now! I am 100% sure I don't want to be his girlfriend anymore. I think i am good enough for 6 hour fly At the same time I will do anything as long as it won't hurt me to be friends with him--he was really calm and charming when we were just friends, we used to talk through phones for hours on small things all the other people just don't care -- I missed that! We were talking for three monthes before the whole getting my stuff back business. I think somehow he got mad at me because of that. I just think I should be the mad one and he should be the guilty one since he broke the thing off. I could reach out for him but I just don't want to give him the wrong impression that I want to get back with him which could cause more trouble. Well, I guess I couldn't do anything to change how he thinks about the whole thing. Is there any thing I can do to show him that I am interested in being friends not girlfriend as my last try?

Hi, guys: Some background: I had a short relationship with somebody on the other coast last year. then he broke it off because of the long distance. We agreed on being friends. But he ignored my request of getting back my stuff for four monthes until I went there on a business trip and got back my stuff. That was the end of May. Then I emailed him for some work stuff twice, he responsed my email the next day somehow distant but politly. Now I think given time we could be friends again--he is a nice person and we work in a small field. But today, I met a friend from his city who knows about our relationship & broke up and she told me she saw this guy lately and mentioned she is going to see me this week. THIS GUY SAID NOTHING I am upset about this right now, I thought he should said "say hi to her". I know I shouldn't be upset. but still my hear doesn't always listen to my mind. So, what should I do? am I ready to be friends with him? does he really want to be friends?(he said so)? thanks for any advice!

FarandAway: i was sort of in your shoes before. And I totally understand why you want to break it off. Even though i still miss my ex but I still think if somebody put a pre-requirment (you move to him city) for a relationship, then it won't work. Lost a relationship is not the end of world but lost yourself(couldn't do what you really want to do) IS! I know how you don't want to hurt him by not speaking to him. But dear, you need to do that next time he called to set yourself free and set him free. Good luck!

first,thanks for the advice. I did try to say something like "does she(the brother's girlfriend) has any sister? She should set you up!" And he response "she only has a brother". And I made it very clear to him that i am really bad at memorizing things. And not the kind of girl who will spend most of her time in kitchen alreay. I don't know if he is having a crush on her. But I think he wasn't in a relationship for a long time. Then he spent sometime with his brother & the girlfriend and somehow find the right girl can really make guy happy. So she must be quite something. I doubt he will/could do anything about her, but that is actually the problem.He is just going to keep longing for her--people want what they can't get--which in turn will blind him for the "right" girl(not necessary me) for him. I guess if we are still just friends it is easy to say this kind of things and now i will just sound jealous and crazy to him. I am not sure how I can ask him to find out the truth and not pushing him . Guys: if you would have fri night as your own night with friend, wouldn't you just tell the girl who you are seeing to stop making plans? If you have a crush on some girl, wouldn't you try to find a similar kind instead of a complete opposite? Girls, my advice here, take it slow. it is much easier to be the female friend than the girl he is seeing I am so tired of this.[/i]

Hmm, he told me he need to meet with a partner of his compay; he need to talk to a friend (who is married with two kids); he need to meet the deadline. Another thing that is really bothering me is once we talke about his younger brother who has a girlfriend, he told me that he like her and she in very nice and smart. I am OK with this. But then he went on like "we(he,his brother, and the girlfriend) went to a bookstore she found some recipe she really likes, then later that day she wrote down the whole thing at home--she memorize the whole thing"; "She cooked for his brother and then left a little funny sweat love note on each box"; etc I don't know why he need to gave me so many details about a girl in Australia-- I am single chid but I never remember small things about my girl friends' boyfriends even I generally like them. I don't know if he just want to drop some hints on what kind thing he likes or he really really like her. I know I may sounds obsessed but I really like him as a person that I want to be friends with. I just don't want to risk the friendship for something not going to happen

Guys: first of all, I went on my first official date with a guy on a friday night. And we like each other but decide to take things slow. And we see each other mostly on Sat/Sun and sometime weekday and I have been stay over at his place. but we never meet on Friday anymore. I recommand to do something on Friday night serveral times(I really like firday night out idea) and he always has some plan--Is there something special about Friday night night? buddy night? Do you think he is doing something behind my back or I am making too much out of nothing? Thanks

Hi, guys: I got my stuff back from him today He was very cold. I tried my best to make small talk to make sure people don't think we are drug dealers(he give me stuff and just leave). I mange to ask two questions and he answered with "fine","nothing new". Sounds like he hates me. But I can do nothing with it, right? good luck on those who still try to get their stuff back!

ga121: Hi, I am in a similar situation as you: broke up five monthes ago. he promised to mail my stuff and never did. i will visit his city for business reason next week, ask him to have my stuff ready for pick up and don't need to meet in person. He response that he is sorry and he ask if I would want him to mail them to me. I don't know why ask him A(pick up in person) or B(leave them somewhere for me) and he choose C(mail them to me). Some of my friends said this a way for them to keep the communication line open in case they need it. So, I send him an email said don't bother the mailing and just let me know when and where I can get my stuff. I don't hate him. I actually still have very strong feeling of him. But I don't want him to have the control. He has not response my email yet. But I think for me I really want my stuff back to make a clean ending.

OK. I finally decide to follow my girl friends advice which is thanks him for offering mail the stuff but tell him i will be in town anyway so I will pick them up and that doesn't need to be done in person. They said that the guy couldn't mail them for five month why bother to wait again. And I should speak up for myself: that the knitting stuff are important to me and I would get it for myself. I send the email last night and I will see what happens. I could image that he may ingore my email. Then i will just forget about it. I will keep you guys posted. THE lesson we learned here is never leave anything important to you at your boy/girl friend's palce.