MetalJoe

Ask her out, but keep it casual - and see how it goes from there. I've learnt the hard way that you have to go for it if you want something to happen.

*shrug* Pretty bizarre thing to do, but unfortunately there are a lot of guys like that - they seem to think it's the way to attract women! Forget the loser and move on - if he was genuinely interested, he had more than enough of an opportunity to ask you to dance, but he didn't take it.

The only real advice I can give is to try it and decide for yourself. Like any other way to meet people and get dates, experiences differ wildly. I've not found it a good way for me, but I don't regret trying it. Other people I know seem to get along very well with it. Take time to evaluate and decide which sites to use, different sites are useful for different types of people and different locations so make use of any free searching etc. to decide if you want to part with any money.

A picnic at the top of a snowy Austrian mountain, followed by ripping up untracked powder snow on the descent. To be honest, I'm not that sure or fussed - anywhere is just fine as long as it's something my date and I both enjoy. A lot of my dates have been pretty odd situations, so it's just nice to do something ordinary and "normal". I must admit I've always wanted to cook someone a candlelit dinner. However, you're pretty much limited to either fajitas, stir fries or Pot Noodle until my culinary skills improve ;-)

Accept the compliments and just go for it I used to be the same. I didn't get compliments very often, and when I did get them I would get embarrassed or ignore them because I refused to believe someone would actually be interested in me. I still blush sometimes when I have someone show an interest, but I accept the attention now and try to take the opportunity. Make eye contact, give them a smile and go with the flow. Enjoy ;-)

I'll give you a definite answer should the opportunity ever arise ;-) For me, that's not what I'm looking for so I'd politely decline. I'm not one for no-strings sex and never have been, if I'm honest. Other guys are different - I certainly know a lot who wouldn't hesitate to say "YES!".

Maybe I've done it wrong in the past, misjudged the timing or been with the wrong girls, but from experience I can guarantee that'll kill off any chance I have of getting that kiss. Hesitate or try and build that "sense of anticipation" and she'll be off.

I can't remember having a woman ask for my number, so if I'm interested in someone I'll give them mine. If they call, at least I know they might be interested - normally they won't call so at least I know where I stand ;-) I don't give the number to just anyone. Of course, the other thing is that I really hate phones so I tend to avoid making calls But even then, if someone gave me their number and I was interested, I would get in touch.

How did you figure out there are just a few of them in your area? Did you calculate all of them in your 50 miles radius? I did for example. I said "seem". I go searching for profiles on sites and I'll get maybe a dozen women or so, less with filtering for interests etc. It's similar for other sites, and often I'll find the same person on more than one site. Likewise, just meeting people in everyday situations I find it pretty rare to come accross a woman who is single. I was in London last night to meet up with some female friends and things seemed much better there - I got talking to someone single, although she's just gone through a pretty nasty break up so it didn't really seem like a good time to ask her out. ;-) I admit my first photo was not exactly the best, but I did improve on it eventually. Worryingly, as soon as I took it down I ended up getting a sudden surge of contacts! Not sure if I should be happy or not Sure, the right photo does make a big difference and yes, I'm positive a lot of people will only make a decision based on photos.

I just approached it as another way to meet singles. I guess it has changed the dating "scene" in many ways, although I'm not convinced it's any better/worse than any other way to meet "the one". The trouble around where I live is that single women seem very much in the minority, so I assumed that either they just weren't around or I was looking in the wrong places. I turned to Internet dating as a way to help me find the elusive singles, but the online situation hasn't really differed for me. There seem to be just as few single women online in my area, and the ones I have made contact with have really not been interesting at all. In many ways, the situation has been better for me meeting people through everyday contact, than online - but at least online you can get a rough idea of someone before you start talking to them.

Yeah, I think we might've strayed a bit ;-) No, I'm not saying the US is a paradise - it certainly wasn't when I've been there, although I do feel you have a better quality of life than we do over here. Again, I should point out that the UK is still better than many countries and I appreciate that as well. Money != happiness. I of all people know and appreciate this because of what has happened to me over the last year and a bit. However, sadly, money is important for living, for buying a house, for raising kids and all the other things I want to do with my life. I was with friends last night, and the recurring theme with the couples is that most of them can't even afford a house, so they can't afford to start a family. One friend of mine pointed out that she can't even afford to get married, because she and her fiancee would be a lot worse off financially if they did. Does that seem right? I place friends and family above money any day. I've been all over the world and I compare on more than just prices. Things like cost of living need to be weighed up against the average wage. Because of high prices and high taxes, the advantage we have of a higher average wage is lost. When I lived in Australia last year, the cost of living was so much cheaper - despite me earning less I could enjoy doing a lot of things I couldn't afford back in the UK.

It's easier said than done over here. In fact, at the moment it seems the UK rewards people who don't want to educate themselves and don't want to work. Free tertiary education was killed off by the Labour government, leaving students in ridiculous amounts of debt, particularly in underfunded areas like medicine, engineering and science. It's becoming the case that only the rich can receive a degree-level education. Over here, it works out better if couples split up after having a child because of the benefits received. It works out financially better for parents and child if the family splits up! Quickest way to get a council-owned house around here is to become a single, teenage mother - which is exactly what a lot of kids do, because it's the only way they'll be able to afford somewhere. No wonder we have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe. We have an absurd number of people claiming benefits because they are supposedly incapable of working, yet they are fine, while often those with legitimate claims are ignored or not given the same support. I could earn more by claiming unemployment benefit than I can in my current (part-time) job - it's just that I believe in earning my money. I'm still trying to get a suitable IT job after 4 months of searching! And I have a degree and several years of very good IT experience. Anyway, rant over ;-)

It's not just London though. The UK in general is very expensive - high taxes, high house costs, high cost of living. Public transport is in a bad state, health service is falling apart, education is under-funded, and they're talking about people having to retire in their 70s or older because the pension system is messed up. Things have gotten a lot worse in the last few years, with no sign of getting better. I live outside London in a fairly unexciting part of the UK and even when I had a well-paid IT job, I could only dream of owning my own house, while renting took a hefty chunk out of my monthly pay. Back on my old salary, I could only afford a house half the cost of the cheapest one in the area, most are about 3-4 times the amount I can afford. It's no wonder most of my friends have either emigrated or are planning to.

I must admit, it's not something I've really thought about, I just take situations as they come. I meet girls at my local snow slope or mountain biking, or at friends' parties, or queued up waiting to pay in a shop, or in cafes, or browsing in a book store, or in an art gallery, or I have friends introduce me to someone - all kinds of places really.

I shouldn't worry about bars. Not sure what it's like by you, but around here you'll get to meet people who are very drunk, wear far too much make up, and can barely hold a decent conversation when sober let alone after a few drinks. If you want a one night stand, go for it, but for anything even remotely serious it's not that good an option. In my experience.