paingirl

I know your right, its just a whole lot easier said then done, there are so many good memories and i tried to date but i just cant be happy with someone else i tried it already. i pray every night that this day will be the last, i keep waking up. sucks right now. thanks for writing and takeing the time, i appreciate it all.

Hi and thanks, in my mind i know your right, i know the addicts only love is the drug and his beer. But in my heart i'm crushed over it all. For the two years that he was clean (from drugs not alcohol) he was someone that i fell in love with. I try to go on i really do, but even today, riding on the bus i cryed and cryed, it was so terrible that i ran into a church and just kept crying. Now i pray for God to take me so i dont feel this pain any longer, it hurts so much. My head knows my heart aches.

firstly thanks for responding, second i think i left out that the girl got an abortion, there will be no baby. also i didnt really put him off, i took him back over the phone...but at one pt i got mad at all he did, didnt i have the right to get mad? after her ran off with a teenaged girl? my (friend). did bad things. now he cant forgive me getting mad, will not talk to me andsays he's remembered he's done with me...after telling me how much he lvoed me and he'll never find what i gave to him in anyone else and i gave him a great home life etc etc. He said waht we had was so special and we were lucky to have it and he made a mistake, he hasnt talked to me in almost two months now. I wrote him etc. I know i'm losing will. i know all about ego and etc and i try my best, i can make it on my own...i just love him and the thought of him not loving me anymore (after he comes back after a year) and being with another girl eventually, kills me inside and i feel like i cant live through it. if i worded this right?

he sounds like my husband....could he be using a chemical substance such as alchohol or drugs?? Mood changes, personality changes, and cheating usually causes this behavior. He sounds like an MJ addict to me. there is a good site called link removed you might want to check it out, shows the symptoms etc. i could be wrong about this, but he sounds unstable and i lived with one long enouph to be able to see it. if it is drug use, he is in a different part of the cycle right now, when he cycles back he'll want you back, but its a bumpy ride and they never stay anywhere permanently because of the cycle. just a suggestion. it just sounds like it to me.

ditto here. only my friend ran like the wind in fright. Why she is still emailing you about it is beyond me. She is just trying to cause you troubles, and is probably jealous even though she herself is married. Some people are only happy if they are making others miserable. They themselves have low self-esteem (what girl would sleep withher firends husband that didnt) the girl that slept with my hubby and destroyed our marraige had very, very, very, very low self esteem , i knew that about her from day one. they think that because this man is married he will marry them, they dont see it for what it really is. Since she feels so little about herself, making you feel bad, makes her feel better. Tell her if she doesnt stop you are getting a resraining order or act like nothing she says bothers you....even if it does because if she sees she's not getting to you, she'll get bored with not getting her 'fix' and give up.

i remember in college, and then on the discovery or learning channels: dates back to primal, ancient, human nature. women needed a strong, touph man, the hunter, provider, etc. men with those qualities are more rugged, 'bad', fighters, strong, masculine.......i'm trying to remember here, anyhow you get the picture after we've been hurt enouph we know that in todays world that just dont fly anymore. AFter being hurt we do actually seek out the more mellow, nice guy. Its all only human instinct. sorry i couldnt remember it all, college was a while ago!

girl if he wants to talk on the phone with you.........let him!!! I agree, just that he wants to do that!!! is great! try it, since hooters isnt a strip club...dont worry too much, but that usually leads to other things, trust me i've been there. talk to him on the phone, just that he wants to do that is awesome!

I know the pain. They say that you should act like you dont want them back, and act all happy and they will see you with this great happy life and want you back.......but it doesnt always work. Mine lives accross country so i cant do that , but if you live near him you can try emailing or calling him just once and not say anything about getting back together, say you want to be friends, then when your around him act happy, tell him all the great things going on in your life and how busy you are and you might become what he wants, and what he once wanted. begging doesnt work, constantly calling dont work either its annoying, blow his mind and take a different approach, tell him you know and accept your breakup and want to be freidns, it will take a while if it even works but be freidns, and tell him all about your busy great life and act like you just dont care, hard to get... ...got it??? they hate beggars, unfortunately mine is on drugs, lives to far, and etc to do that. I just started taking this approach. but hes so far gone right now, i dont know waht to do. well thats all i could think of . good luck,

I miss my husband period. We had i thought the perfect life. Just married, bought a house, then he changes, he gets abusive and crazy and starts using drugs. I find out later that a 19 yr old girl got pregnant in my bed. we start divorcing. its been a yr and still not final. he calls me after a year,says he wants me back. after one month he says that he just remembered that he is done with me, so he's not moving to be with me. i think he went back on drugs or he got mad cause i got mad that he knocked up a kid in our bed....but he said he knew i had a right to get mad. i dont know, he sounded like he started using again, why cant it be like it was? now he stopped calling, after calling me like three times a day to tell me he loved me and was moving to be with me.now he says he's not coming, and he's mean again. i just want my husband back the way he was, i feel like dying. i miss him so much i cant go on. what do i do? its easy to tell me to move on, but its been more than a year and my heart will not, he just changed overnight, i feel like death will get me out of this pain. it hurts so much. i'm good at giving advice but i dont know what to do for myself. i dont want a future without him. help. i've lost my will to live.

Brandon, how about writing her a note? Or just ask her if she'd like to go and see a movie with you, even just as friends, that was you'll be comfortable, it wont necessarily be a date, your going as friends first and then see how it goes from there. good luck!