OneHotMinute

My concern is that this lady is feeling vulnerable and the attention that you're lavishing on her is making her feel good because she doesn't get that attention from her boyfriend. As a female, I just don't understand how she can say that she will break up with him, only when he does something really bad. What the bejesus is that about? Any woman in her right mind would see meeting a wonderful guy as the perfect incentive to break it off with an ars*****. She clearly sees you're serious about her, but still won't leave this jerk. If she was serious about you, she'd up-and-leave this jerk in a flash. You sound like a guy with an awful lot to offer, who really knows what he wants. She's a very confused woman who will probably give you a lot of grief. I know you're a romantic and want the fairytale, and I respect that. But honestly, she's not the damsel in distress who needs rescuing. She is a grown woman who is old enough to make choices. She chooses to stay in a crappy relationship. She doesn't choose happiness. Romantic is great, but so is reality. Don't sell yourself short and don't get caught up in the fantasy. Go out and knock the socks off a lady who has her crap together

But you see, that's the weird thing....I haven't given ANYTHING away about how I feel. I've been very casual. If anything, I've probably appeared a bit aloof. It's him that's been doing all the talking (as in complimenting etc). I just don't get it . Should I give him one more call in a couple of weeks??

Spot on Computer Guy. You took the words right out of my mouth (it wasn't while you were kissing me).

Don't worry if you don't have a girlfriend yet. It's still early days yet - you've only been there 6 weeks. Besides, you don't need a girlfriend to be complete. Just keep doing what you are doing...mixing with people and making new friends. If you are meant to have a girlfriend at any given time, it will happen naturally but it doesn't have to happen yet. Give yourself time to settle into your new surroundings and develop a comfort zone. Be confident that you're a good person and people will come flocking to your side. Make small talk, show interest in other people and they will reciprocate.

Absolutely. What you describe are symptoms of depression. I've been depressed before, mainly because of circumstances, and I've lost sleep because my mind won't stop ticking over and I lose my appetite, which for me, is not a good thing either because I'm rather slim. Do you feel depressed because of circumstances in your life, or could it be clinical? I would suggest you speak to your doctor and even consider seeing a counsellor or speak to a friend or family member who will be understanding. There are also copious amounts of self-help books that can help you see things objectively. If you do decide to see a counsellor, please make sure to be open and honest....trust me, it works wonders and is very cathartic to get everything off your chest. Depression is extremely common and it can be managed very effectively, as long as you are willing to help yourself. Now is the time to be your own best friend. All the best

Hi everyone - my apologies if this is long-winded...please bear with me. I met a guy late July through work (I was a contractor his workplace). He asked me to go to drinks with him for my last day. He also asked me out to lunch before I left his work, and wanted to walk me to the station a couple of times....very keen. We got along so well that I ended up staying at his place for 3 nights (yes, we were physical on one of these nights). I'm 28, he's 33. We've spoken a few times on the phone since then, usually for around an hour at a time. We've also been out for drinks once since then. He was doing most of the contact to begin with, then I thought it was about time I reciprocated. We're not a couple or even dating really. He was very honest with me in the beginning that the timing's not right and that he's still not completely over his ex. I was fine with that and I respect that. All along, it's felt like a really nice friendship. He's a very open, honest person who has complimented me a lot eg: "I really like you", "I feel really comfortable with you", "I can communicate so well with you", "You're cute", "You're refreshing...not a high-maintenance princess like other girls I've been with", "I'm not here to mess around with you" (he knows I've had some pretty bad experiences in the past).....I'm sure you get the idea. He's quite sincere - a real no bullsh!t guy who shoots from the hip. However, the communication, on his part, seems to be dwindling. I'm not the kind of person to constantly bug someone with text messages and phone calls. We've probably spoken and texted every one to two weeks. 2 weeks ago I called him but he was out with friends having a beer and I didn't want to disturb him. He was quite happy to hear from me and I told him I'd call back some other time and he said he'd call me the next day. He didn't. I haven't heard anything from him since then. The weird thing is, whenever I have sent him a text message or called him, he's always replied or answered straight away, so it's not as if he's ignoring me. I'm really, really confused now. One of the girls I used to work with, who is also good friends with him, told me not to mess with him because in her words, "he's fragile"....but I feel like maybe I'm the one being messed with now? I just don't get it - how can you be so keen on someone, compliment them so much, tell them you feel so comfortable around them...and then not call back? He's quite conscious of how he treats people e.g. do unto others and I've never heard him say a bad word about anyone or seen him moody. One of friends described him as "a tart with a heart" (I'm sure he's dating...no big deal). Am I wrong to feel p!ssed that he hasn't returned my call? I'm not sure it would be a good idea to call him again....I left the ball in his court and he hasn't hit it back, which I find very strange considering everything he's ever said to me and that everyone who knows him says he's a lovely guy, who they have a lot of time for. What's your take on this? Am I the only one who thinks it's pretty rude, or am I jumping the gun? We are friends (or so I thought). Thank you