ShinyFairyLights

I agree with passions1, you should be able to talk to him about this sort of thing. Sitting there, just wondering how he's feeling, what's going on, isn't any way to live. You'll stress out and make yourself feel even worse. If you think you would honestly scare him off with that sort of talk, and you don't bring it up, what's going to happen a month from now if he doesn't change the behavior? Six months? A year? It'll make you miserable, especially since you think you aren't making him happy. I really do think you should talk to him about it, open communication is a good thing. Especially if you've been giving him space. I kinda think if you are in a committed relationship you should be able to turn to your partner no matter what, if your stressed, hating your job, etc. If you do talk to him, just stress this doesn't mean you want a ring on your finger right at this moment, or even in a specific time. Just tell him how you've been feeling, how's he's been acting and what it looks like to you. You do have a right to know, because you shouldn't be miserable and sit there, worrying, over something that could be cleared up with just a straight forward talk. Whatever you decide to do, I hope everything gets better for you!!

Oh I definitely agree. I would never pressure someone to put a ring on my finger, or commit unless they brought it up without any sort of pressure from me. That would never be the kind of relationship I'd want. You brought up a good point though, a lot of girls actually do that sort of thing. I personally have a friend who dated her boyfriend for about a year and a half and basically forced him to move in with her, and forced him to get engaged, even though he was wanting to wait a bit. Watching how they act together, and interact with eachother's families (Because I see family a big reason of marriage consideration...but not the be all end all) They just don't seem to suit...and you can definatelly tell he'll be unhappy forever, or divorce her. I really don't understand how you could force someone you loved into something they'd rather wait on. No matter how ready you are, if you can't wait on that person to feel ready themselves then what's the point? You'll just question yourself and the relationship later on. Such is the way with things... BTW that book 'He's just not that into you" is actually a good read. It makes a LOT of valid points. A lot. Fun read too

So, here's just a random off the wall question that I just wanted to see some opinions on How long do you think it is appropriate for a couple to date before they should consider marriage? Me, personally, it all really depends on the couple. Most of the time I would say wait at least (the VERY least) two years dating, maybe living together some of that time, before considering it....but other couples date maybe half a year, end up getting married, and last. I dunno, just contemplating my own relationship, and how I'd like to marry my boyfriend, but then again I'm a tad worried it's too soon...don't wanna mess anything up. So come on, lets see what you think

Ok, why do guys give mixed signals? At work, there's this guy I have a crush on. Nothing major, just think he's a cute guy and I want to get to know him. I'm a pretty outgoing person, I love to pick on people and goof around, thing is when it deals with someone I have a thing for I totally clam up, for fear of sounding like a moron or worrying about how I look. I told my friend what I thought about him, and she ended up telling him, which didn't bother me since I'd rather it be out in the open in case he is interested. He told her he likes girls who are forward, to talk to HIM and come to HIM. That's a bit of a prob for me, since I've never had to do that and I have dated several people. It was always, little small signals that we like eachother, then they would give me their number or ask me out. Now I have to be the forward one? Well on Monday when I learned this, I of course freaked out and didn't talk to him. Especially since he didn't say anything about being interested back. Since I had no experience being forward and whatever, I just avoided him, especially since he knew I had a little thing for him and that would just make me turn all red and not be able to talk. Well yesterday and today I've talked to him quite a bit, he says hi to me when he passes and he told my friend he thinks I'm cute. I'm slowly building up my courage, but then a shocking revelation! My friend works at night with him, and a new girl started working. She said he makes a massive effort to talk to her or be around her, like circling around to walk beside her between buildings and looking at her a lot. Surprisingly, this made it easy to talk to him. Go figure. Anyways, sometimes I get the feeling he's a little interested too, I'll catch him looking at me sometimes, and he walks over to where I'm standing and talking to people. I'm not real sure whats going on, and I really needed to vent on this. So if anyone has any opinions please give!

okay, I've gotten out of a two year relationship about a month to two months ago. I don't have those loving feelings for my ex anymore, so now I'm looking at other guys and being like "hmm..." There's this one that I'm totally looking at. I met him a couple of weeks ago through my best friend, we were in the next town over and it was my birthday. We hung out all night in a big group, it was fun, and I was told to come back the next day and hang out with them. So I was happy. So this guy calls my friend the next day, telling her to bring me over and blah blah. So she does, but he doesn't talk to me much at the beginning of the night. By the end it was a little more, and we were in a car together you know...subtly touching sides and whatnot. When I left, he asked for a hug and declared to all his friends I was beautiful, which made me laugh and blush of course The next day, he didn't talk to me much, which kinda threw me off but I wasn't too worried about it. None of them talk much during the week, though he did call my friend and ask her to bring me back over there that weekend. On Thursday, we go over there to hang out and me and my friend end up going out to eat with two of our other friends, leaving this guy at home. Apparently, this bothered him because he wanted to hang out with me, but his buddy told him that we didn't want him to go (totally not true but anyways..) So that Friday we all pile up, go to a party, he's all hugging me and yadda yadda. Saturday he calls me, we talk for about an hour, then I see him later that night and again we are doing the subtly touching stuff. Sunday he calls again to make sure we are coming to hang out, and he doesn't talk to me much again. I wait two days, and called him today (Weds) and we talk for ten minutes, then he has another call and gets off the phone. Now, when we all hang out I do catch him looking at me sometimes, and when he's talking to a group of people he does make eye contact with me a lot. But I'm still confused?! I dunno, I'd just like a second opinon. I know it's long, but it'd be much apperciated

Ok, me and my bf dated for two years. I ended up breaking up with him, because I was having issues with my self esteem and felt as though he was going to leave me or cheat on me anyday (Never gave me a reason to distrust him) After two weeks, we talked again, and ended up back together. Problem was he hung out with his friends a LOT while we were separated, so now they call every single day to do something. He's the type of person to want to hang out and do whatever, so most of the time he says yes. Problem was he didn't know how to say no, like when we were making plans. In a sense, it was like he didn't want to run his friends off just because he was back with me. I think he got very confused, and it's understandable. We both were eachother's best friend for two years, without really anyone else around us, and now he's got people calling me up at every possible second. Of course he was gonna hang out with them. But it put a strain on us. Not because I expected him to drop everything and see ME, but because he would break dates with me cuz they asked him to do something, he never saw me because he was always with them. I like his friends, but he just never made time for me. I always had to call him, or ask him to do something, and I had to do it before his friends got ahold of him or I would have never saw him. Anyways, he wanted to go on a break, since I nagged him and bugged him so much when he was with his friends it got to the point he didn't want to see me. I got that, and I realized what I was doing a little too late. Problem is, I told him I could take a month, and honestly I can't. I can't stay in a limbo with my feelings. I love this guy, and I know he cares about me too. I'm just not so sure he's willing to get into the kind of relationship that we had, like a commitment to eachother and so on. That's what I want. And I know a month away from me isn't going to change his mind about it. I wrote him a letter, telling him how I felt, how I knew he must feel, what I wanted from him if we were going to have a relationship. I set out my ground rules, and told him that if he felt like he couldn't do those things, then we are better off not dating at all. I know it would hurt, and if he doesn't want to date I understand. We are both young, and he probably wants to go out and experience things. We might be wanting two different things, and nobody can change that. It would hurt a lot if I got the rejection, but I would be able to deal and not be stuck in a limbo of 'well what if he meets someone, does he still care' blah blah blah. I do deserve a guy who feels as I do, and wants what I want from a relationship. If he can't do that, then it's better if we don't date. So yeah, logically is sounds all good, but there's a lot of pain there. I do love this guy, and yeah give it a few years I would want to marry him. I could honestly see myself staying with him through anything, and I love everything about him and who he really is. If he doesn't feel the same, I know that's not my fault. I know it's nothing I did. It would still hurt. It would still make me wonder what was wrong with me. But I'd rather have the complete break off, so I have the chance to be depressed, then angry, then get on, than the limbo of 'what ifs'. That's all I had to say, I just wanted to say it period. Writing helps me organize my thoughts and such. Kinda like a therapy...only without the person staring at you like you have to say more. Thanks for listening/reading!

I know what you are going through. My boyfriend and I are on a 'break' which I really can't stand, being in a limbo of 'well does he like me, is he tired of me, blah blah." I love the guy, and I constantly wonder what he's doing, if he's thinking of me, anything. It really hurts, and makes me sick to my stomach. It will get better. It will, it's a promise. In about a week, it won't be as bad. Two weeks, you'll think of other things, though he'll still be in your mind. Give it time, though it's hard you'll make it. Everyone goes through it, and it's horrible, but you can make it. I've been feeling the same as you. Stressed, obsessive, happy, sad. You forget for a bit, then it comes rushing back and you can't stop obsessing. It's worse when you go to sleep. It hurts, it's scary, but you will make it. Trust me.

Like K8tie Kool said, stay calm. I know from experience it's VERY EASY to freak out. I had episodes like that with my ex, because he'd plan something with me but break them to hang out with a friend he hadnt seen in a year. Normally, I would have been excited, but for some reason I had blown it out of porportion and starting freaking out and crying. Things like that happen when you just automatically assume the worst. Don't assume anything. Just stay calm, and if you are like me and start to cry when you talk about your feelings, just take deep breaths. Tell him your feelings, how you feel about him, or when he does things that make you mad or hurt you. Tell him that you want to work everything out, and you want to control yourself. You're just scared of being hurt, which is understandable. Let him know. More than likely, he'll tell YOU all the things he wanted to and you'll feel much better

Well, me and my ex fought sometimes, but not a lot. At the end of the relationship, it was mostly about him not seeing me or respecting me enough to talk about our issues. Mostly, I would cry, because I hate fighting and when I care about someone I hate having them mad at me or visa versa. I'd hold it back, but when he'd be gone it'd be like a downpour! Hehe