BlueEyes_68

I don't know about the drama thing, but it certainly could be that she would like me to prove myself. How I would go about accomplishing that is the million $ question. We do see each other once in while over lunch. I keep it light and don't get all needy, sappy, etc. We always enjoy each others company when we do get together though. She has been by and far my best friend ever, so I really do want to see her happy whatever her decision might be. I just don't see that she's really all that happy with her current situation. We've talked about my personal progress to some extent and I have conveyed that settling down is what I want. I just haven't come right out and said "I want another chance." You are right though that while she is dating someone else she is unavailable to me.

Ok, quite a few reads and no responses has prompted me to clarify and add a few more bits of information. The guy that she is dating lives over two hours away. They only see each other on the weekends, and even then it's not every weekend. Over Christmas and her birthday, my cards were the ONLY one's posted in her office. That's right, no pictures of her BF, no cards, nothing. Only my things. Heck, not even anything from her parents. When we talk, she always says that her parents say "Hi" etc. Now when she speaks of her BF it's always in vaugeries. Last time we spoke we got into this conversation about marriage, family, etc. When I asked her how things were with her guy regarding that and she tells me that he's already told her he's not the marrying type. I asked her how that works since she;s always told me that's what she's wanted. She was totally evasive and quickly "swerved" the conversation to another topic. Now I understand that people can change their minds, but I've know her since 1990 and I'm just not buying it. Is she playing it cool to see if I'm for real? Do I keep my distance or do I lay it on the line and tell her what's on my mind? I know the risk of putting it out there, but at this point, it really might be time say f* it, here's where I'm at. If she rejects me then maybe I can put all away and try to move on despite the difficulty. Grr....where's the manual for life's difficulties?

Grab a seat, as it's a bit of a read. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. just so you know, it's been almost two years now since we broke up. Once upon a time there was a man who was looking to find himself and define his future and his place in the world. He took a risk and moved away from everything he knew to make a new start for himself. He made some new friends in his new home and continued to search his soul for what he believed he wanted. This man's name was Chris. Along Chris's journey, he met a very special woman, one that he would eventually fall completely and madly in love with. Her name was Lisa. She was beautiful, caring, loyal and compassionate. She was everything Chris wanted in a woman. But there was a problem; she was already involved with another man. However, both Chris and Lisa new that there was something special between them. It was evident in the way they looked at each other, the way in which they smiled at each other and in the way that they talked to each other. They began to confide in one another and tell each other their innermost feelings. She went so far as to put on a surprise birthday party for him with a homemade cake that she put her heart, soul and love into. He would call her on business trips to say "Hi" and see how she was doing, just so he could hear her voice. He was conflicted though as Lisa's boyfriend was Chris's friend. It was a difficult place to be for Chris. He knew that someday they would be together but how long would he have to wait? In the mean time, they continued to play their parts: he the honorable, trustworthy friend to both and she the loyal and dedicated girlfriend. In Chris's heart though, he secretly wished, yet patiently waited for the day that she would no longer be bound to this other man. They continued their delicate dance until one day, this other man professed his love for another woman and moved on with his life. Lisa was hurt, betrayed and angry. Chris was there to console her during this time of pain and rejection. She cried on his shoulder and told him how much it hurt and how much she hated him for betraying her in such a way. Inside Chris was happy, but it hurt him a great deal to see her in such pain. He comforted Lisa and told her how wonderful she was and how much she had to offer someone. He told her how much of a fool this other man was to give up someone with so much to offer. Still, Chris had to bide his time as he knew Lisa needed some time to put the other relationship to rest. Eventually, Chris felt the time was right to ask Lisa out for a date. He was scared though. Was it too early still? Was she ready to date again? Chris took the risk and asked anyway. Lisa said no! His heart sank to his feet and his stomach turned. His greatest fears were coming true. However, she quickly said it was only because she would be out of town and that yes, she would love to go out with him. Chris's emotions quickly turned to elation and joy. Thus began the story of Chris and Lisa. Chris and Lisa would move in together and begin making a home for themselves. Their love would continue to grow and deepen. Chris found a real job, one that could provide support and stability for a family. Lisa began to realize her goal of personal growth and decided to better herself by going back to school and getting her degree. It was a time of personal and mutual growth for both Chris and Lisa. Lisa was great with the home. She had a keen sense of decorating style and a wonderfully, innate ability to make a home feel warm and welcoming. They made dinner together, went out to the movies and vacationed together. As the years began to go by, both Chris and Lisa's parents began to ask when they would get married and have children. The reality and pressure of this began to affect Chris in a way he had never considered. He thought this is what he wanted. This is what he had dreamed of. However, Chris's father had never been there for him. He had married several women and had never been a father figure to Chris. Because of this, Chris was becoming increasingly afraid of becoming his father as the reality of his own marriage began to set in. He loved Lisa very, very much but Chris began to have serious doubts as to his ability to make that level of commitment. He began to subconsciously sabotage the relationship that he so wanted. He started finding reasons for fighting with Lisa. They began to loose focus and started to become disillusioned with each other. Each fight became worse and the words became more spiteful and hurtful. Chris started to become resentful of Lisa's lack of outside hobbies and friends. Lisa became jealous of Chris's hobbies and the fighting continued. Their intimacy became infrequent at best and Chris used this as another reason to withdraw from the relationship. He began looking to outside sources of self-gratification. (Internet pornography) Lisa became angrier about Chris's habit. They still loved each other, but it was clear Chris's self doubts and fears were costing the relationship. Chris eventually came to the decision to leave Lisa. He had met another woman that he thought would give him the intimacy he was looking for. Chris was confused to say the least. He still loved Lisa a great deal, but his fear of failure and their lack of intimacy was too much. Chris didn't love this new woman, but he knew he couldn't continue to let Lisa think that they were still going to get married. Chris was back to square one. He was uncertain if getting married and starting a family was actually what he wanted. Chris's new relationship didn't last. How could it? After all, deep in his heart, he still loved Lisa. Chris had broken Lisa's heart and he knew it. He woke every day to the regret of the pain he caused Lisa and loosing his best friend, the woman he was supposed to marry. How could he do this too her? How could he do this to himself? He became depressed and withdrawn. He eventually tried to talk to Lisa, tell her how sorry and regretful he was. But the hurt and betrayal was too much. She couldn't forget, and she couldn't forgive. They both carried on with their lives as best they could. They were amicable and stayed friends. They still talked frequently and shared casual conversation over lunch. However, Lisa began to move on and started a new relationship with another man. Chris felt he needed some time to try and sort things out. He went to therapy and began looking deeper inside himself and started to address those fears and apprehensions that caused him to run from the relationship with Lisa. He made great strides and learned that he was not his father and that he makes his own future and his own way in life. Chris grew immensely during this time. Chris began to realize that, yes, marriage and family were indeed what he wanted. He was ready to grow up and make that commitment. Ultimately, he still wanted that with Lisa. There was still a problem though; Lisa was still seeing another man. Chris tried to let go of the memory of Lisa. He eventually met another woman that he thought he might be able to have that level of love with. He gave of himself completely and wholeheartedly. He provided great emotional support to her during a very difficult time of her life. They talked of marriage and starting a family. Chris thought he might finally be able to move beyond Lisa. There was still something missing though. He still though about Lisa everyday despite his new love interest. In some ways, he was subconsciously sabotaging this new relationship, because ultimately, he still longed to be with Lisa. When Chris and his new girlfriend broke up, Chris was very hurt. Now he knew how Lisa felt when he left her. He was watching his future leave without him. He was alone again. It's been awhile now since Chris's last relationship. He's continued to look at himself introspectively and continues to try and better himself. However, he still longs to be with Lisa. Sadly, he's back where he started; he's in love with a woman that is seeing another man. If he professes his love for Lisa again, will she let him back into her life? Will she see the growth that he's accomplished? Will she recognize Chris's sincerity when he tells her he still loves her and wants to try again – that he's ready for that kind of commitment? Will she find it in her heart to give Chris another chance? Will it come to pass?

Simple rule: two steps forward, one step back. When you're close, stop, slowdown and/or change positions and don't be a jack hammer!! Mix it up a little: fast, slow, hard, soft. You get the idea....

For Her: smooth (the best!) or the landing strip For me: smooth on the sack and base and then I use a beard trimmer set to number 2 or 3 for the rest of it. (I'm not a porno star, so I can't see the point in shaving completely.) Anyway, I figure if the woman I'm seeing is going to put forth the effort, so can I. Besides, who wants to break out the weed whacker to get to the promised land, or worse yet, having to stop oral to pick out the strays? Keep it smooth ladies and your man will love you for it.

Haha, yeah, she's pretty thick at times. I know she's been crapped on by other men in her life as she's told me as much. Regardless, it doesn't excuse the behavior....

Well, I wouldn't say I was trying to please her, just being respectful of her personal space, not wanting to come off like a perv, etc. Unfortunately for me, after last night, I get the very distinct impression that she likes a guy that calls ALL the shots. (When, where and how.) I say unfortunate, because like you corvidae, I believe it should be a mutual decision making process. However, I have come to learn that some women do indeed see that as being weak. I have to say, I was rather displeased with the phone call instead if the face to face conversation. Who knows, maybe she was just having a bad day? (Still not really acceptable when you come right down to it.) At any rate, I'll give it one more go to see if it was a fluke or if that's who she relly is. I am interested in her, but if this happens again, I'm out of there...

Ok, been out of the dating loop for about 8 years. (Previous relationship.) So I've been single for about a year now and am ready to start dating. I recently met this woman through link removed that I'm very interested in getting to know better. We've been out twice now and have talked to each other just about every day for the last two weeks. It seems like everything is going well. Ok, on to the point, I invite her over to my place last night to share some company. Now since it's the first time she's been to my place, I'm being respectful and not trying to initiate any physical contact. (Plus I'm interested in something more long term, not a slam, bam thank you man.) We have a good evening sharing confversation and get to know each other a bit more. I thought things were good, yet she calls me on the her way home to tell me that I need to act like a normal guy and be more confidant?!?! I was just trying NOT to screw things up by being a nice guy. Guess I should have just went for it? She didn't exactly say she doesn't want to see me anymore, just that I need to quit being a wuss if I want to contiue seeing her. (not those exact words, but the point was made) What do the ladies thing about all this?

Well, I finally got up the nerve to ask this woman out that I've been attracted to for a while now. We had our first date this weekend. Turns out she's 23! I had figured her to be 25-26 just based on how she handles herself, the way she speaks, etc. When I told her I was 36, she said she thought I was about 31. If she already had the perception of me being 31, then I'm thinking she doesn't see the age gap as a big deal, so what's another 5 years right? Ok I want to be clear, it's really not about the physical aspect, yes she's attractive, I mean there has to that level of attraction as well, but I'm just really impressed by her personallity, her self-confidence and the way that she treats the people around her. She's definitely someone worth getting to know better. However, the potential issue of the age gap has me off balance. Since I've always dated women older than me, this is a new scenario. I'm guess I'm just looking for opinions and things to keep in mind as we get to know each other a little better.

Go to urgernt care NOW!! I fell on my bike 3-1/2 months ago and thought I just had a sprained thumb. Turns out I broke the scaphoid (google if you don't know what a scaphoid is). 3 months of a cast and it's still not healed. I'm scheduled for surgery on the 19th to have a screw inserted to help the bone rejoin. Trust me, you don't want or need the potential problems that can come from an untreated wrist injury.

Hey, thanks for all the positive feedback. I actually wrote that about 15 years ago. I have one or two more that might be worth posting if anyone is interested.

Well, I don't consider myself much of a poet at all, but sometimes you just have to sit down and write what's on your mind. No title, just the words. Another day of chasing hopes and dreams comes to a close Sitting alone in the middle of the room again The sun has set and the hour is late As the darkness surrounds me Thoughts of love and happiness float through my head like a cloud drifting through a clear blue sky Somewhere, someone is sitting alone as well.....

Scout, thanks for the response. Well, since I'm moving this weekend, I was thinking I'd call her tomorrow, but then I don't want to appear to be overly eager as you say. Yet on the other hand, I agree that waiting until next week would indeed be too long. Arghhh! Looks like I'll have to take the gamble and call her tomorrow afternoon sometime. Wish me luck!

Ok, I've been out of the dating loop for a long time. (about 8 years now. long committed relationship) I finally mustered up the nerve to ask this woman out that I have been interested in for a while. It seemed like I caught her off guard when I asked her to lunch, but she said yes and gave me her number. So, by todays standards, how long should I wait to call her and set up the date?