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I don't feel like I'm too young to get into a relationship at all. As i said, I was in one that just ended a few months ago. Maybe I'm just not ready for a relationship at all right now, whatever the race. But I think the race issue is just complicating my thoughts more right now. I'm probably just thinking too much into it. Something I do quite often.

I don't mean to promote anything...but Weight Watchers will definitely help. I have tried all sorts of things, and WW has been the only thing that has helped me lose weight. Its not a diet, but a healthy lifestyle. The support at the meetings is very encouraging and keeps you on track to want to eat well all week since you weigh in at the meetings weekly. I find its a surefire way of losing weight. I agree with the other posts, in that its not healthy to lose more that 1 to 2 pounds a week. Otherwise, you'll gain it back as soon as you go off your plan. Good luck. And check out their website. Their community message boards help greatly,

Here's the deal. I grew up in an all white neighborhood. I now live in an extremely diverse school where I find I am attracted to, well maybe intrigued by would be a better way to say it, people of other races and exotic cultures. I just got out of a long relationship a few months ago. There is this guy who likes me who is black. I liked him at first, and I actually still do, but I feel like I am too young to get into an inter racial relationship and have to deal with all the problems and hurdles before a real relationship is even established. I am EXTREMELY openminded and don't see him for his color, but for the person he is. It may seem hypocritical of me, but I guess I feel like say I met my soulmate at 30 and he happened to be another race, I would go for it. But right now, it may not be the time for me and I don't need any added stresses. I just feel so horrible about it. Am I justified in thinking all this? ( and the last thing i want to do is offend anyone here) I just need some advice and support.

when he broke up with me i deleted and got rid of everything that was related to him, that he gave me...everything...except for his cell number on my phone. i guess i figured that if one day he called me, i'd know who was calling. since i posted last, he actually did return my call, but he im'ed me instead...to say that he saw that i callled and to see how i'm doing. we actually talked for 15 minutes online, and its funny, cause i feel a lot better now. i have been debating for the last few weeks whether to get in touch with him (on-line) or not. i wasn't sure of my motives. i felt strongly though that the weight of rejection would be lifted from my shouldars if he talked to me, even though i initiated the NC. and it actually did. i don't want to get back together with him, i know he's not the right one for me, but i still care for him of course and i know he cares for me. my story is long, but i've posted it before under this forum. i guess you could click to see the posts i've done (which have only been a few) . if you do decide to read it, let me know what you think, i'm always always open for some input. he broke up with me i think the best way that someone could..said nothing bad about me and said to never change who i am..stuff like that. so i guess talking to him lifted the main thing i've been dealing with- rejection. so in this case a little talking helped, although i'm not planning on us talking for a looong while. peace and love, dmb

I can't believe i called my ex of a month...and completely by mistake. i dialed his number instead of my moms..the phone rang and then i looked at the phone and saw CALLING omg! i hung up, but he has caller id and can totally see on his cell phone who called. he dumped me and i'm so embarrassed. i shut my cell phone off right away. i can't believe i did this. i established the NC rule with him when we broke up. i said that i won't be able to talk to him for now b/c i have to move on and get over him. i hope he doesn't think that i'm trying to make him think of me or something...grrrr...i guess i just really needed to vent...ahhh

Thank you for reading my long saga and for sharing all your thoughts. i think just knowing that we aren't the only ones is healing in itself. ForAnother...the hard part is that we didn't have a phone relationship while in college, b/c we go to college in the same city so we saw each other everyweekend. i think if it was an only-phone-type relationship, it wouldn't have fulfilled my needs and thus, i probably would have ended it for that reason alone...long distance relationships just usually don't work. i hope we both find peace by going through the hard times and become stronger and more enlightened people.

A little background: My boyfriend broke up with me a little more than a month ago. We dated for a few months three years ago, and then were together again for the last year. He's the only one i've ever been with. We had a very very emotionally mature relationship. I always thought that a break up wasn't as big of a deal as people made it to be, but it's really taken its toll on me. The deal is that he is going to school for journalism and he's going into his last year of college. This summer he had an internship that seemed to just change his whole frame of mind about his future. He has been really scared about his future in this career and the internship made him realize that this really is his dream. After he graduates he will either be going to grad school or moving away to get a job in journalism, since you have to have at least 5 yrs experience to work in a big city like i live in on the east coast. So basically one of his reasons for breaking up with me is that he really just doesn't want to be held back from some major decisions he has to make about his future, and be influenced just by me being in his life. He knows that I have a passion for what i do to (i'm in college for art) and that I would never want anything to get in my way, and so he realizes that I would never go against or hold him back from doing what he has to do. But i guess he feels held back anyways. The other thing is that he says he just doesn't feel the same way about me as he did, and he knows that I'm not the one for him (which, even at 21, he seems to be on a quest for). He feels that he can't grow anymore in this relationship and he doesn't want to drag it out if his full heart isn't in it b/c thats not fair for me. we talked one final time in person two days after he said he wanted to break up with me, just for some closure, and the hard part is that I understand where he's coming from. I know he can't help how he feels. I know that we weren't on the road to getting married or anything, and i knew that we probably weren't even going to last all that much longer b/c our life styles are so different, but just the shock and rejection hurts a lot. He gave me NO hints or signs at all. I feel like I have a great intuition and usually pick up on people pretty easily, but I got no vibe from him whatsoever. He broke up with me after i got back from spending a week in florida with my family. he said he needed that time to think everything through and not be jaded by my presense. We never ever got into a fight, we both had our own lives with school and friends and did our own thing. we just seemed so comfortable and good in our relationship. we had a real connection and I really loved him for who he is..i really wasn't too into him when we started dating again, which makes it harder b/c i really really grew to love the person he is, no lust or infatuation like it usually is at first. the other hard part is that when we talked in person about it, he had nothing bad to say about me. He said some of the nicest things to me that anyones ever said and said that I didn't do anything wrong at all, which is why this was so hard for him to do. So thats basically the story, as brief as i can make it. I guess if we were to break up, it couldn't have been any better, considering the respect and sincerity that was exchanged. Its just that right now I feel really lost. I hate that he's the last thing i think of when i go to bed, and the first thing i think of when i wake up. he's constantly constantly constantly in my mind and i absolutely hate it. I've been doing things with friends, and trying to get out as much as i can for my life to go on, but it's still very hard and painful. I feel very rejected and feel like how could someone that seemed to care so much for me just cut me out of his life. I feel in a way that every thing he's ever said to me, cards/poems he's given me where all lies. I don't understand how one can fall so quickly out of love. I also feel like i can't keep in touch with him b/c it'll be too painful and hard to move forward, but i don't know if that the right choice, because we have been friends for a few years before we started dating a little more than a year ago. I don't know if i should just cut him out of my life even though he was so important to me for so long. My feeling are so raw and real to me right now and i'm actually going through something i've never been through before. Our whole relationship was so mature and even the breakup was so mature. It's hard that i can't just say that I hate him, because he's only showered me with love and compliments. I poured so much heart and gave so much of myself in this relationship, and maybe it was naive of me, but i guess i've just always been an all- or-nothing kind of person. I know they say that time heals everything, which i'm a firm believer in, but right now i just can't even see that day when i'll be over all of this. I guess what i'm really searching for is an outside perspective of all of this...even though of course you can only go by what you read. i hope this gives a thorough enough understanding of the type of relationship i was in. Right now we're both in school, and although i'm not tempted to pick up the phone and call him, we both leave our AIM up, which is so horrible, b/c i know he's literally a click away and it would be so easy to just im him to say hi. he said that he understands if i hate him right now, but if i ever want to talk to him, he'll always be there for me. i feel like i want to im him in the worse way, but i don't know what my motive is. i don't know if i just want the attention and feeling that i'm not rejected ( a feeling that i've honestly never had to deal with in my life). i don't know if it'll make me upset or help me move on. thank you for taking the time to read this. any advice is greatly appreciated.