catman70

You're not alone. Here what just happened to me last week..... I'm 33yrs old. Just when you think you found a real genuine person they rip your heart into 1000 pieces. I thought I found my soulmate. But apparently not. I really though she was a sweet girl with great morales, but she has lied and betrayed me beyond belief. About 2 weeks ago, she told me she needed space to clear her head because she was mad at me for telling her we need to resolve some issues before we think about marriage. She obviously didn't like that answer. Well, I just found out a week ago that my 35yr old beautiful and trusting girlfriend has been seeing another guy for ??? long. I found out the painful truth when I came over her house after she said she was going to bed early. Her excuse, "he is just a long time friend to talk to". I noticed the only light on in her house was the light from the t.v in her bedroom. Obvioulsy, she was doing something with him while she was in bed with him. She still denies she slept with him. Any advice? I think going to church is probably your best hope to find someone decent. I am an attractive guy, but not at all over confident. I tried the bar this weekend and came home more depressed and missing her than before I went there. Any advice??

Don't feel so bad. I am with you. Here's my story of late.... I'm 33yrs old. Just when you think you found a real genuine girl they rip your heart into 1000 pieces. I thought I found my soulmate. But apparently not. I really though she was a sweet girl with great morales, but she has lied and betrayed me beyond belief. About 2 weeks ago, she told me she needed space to clear her head because she was mad at me for telling her we need to resolve some issues before we think about marriage. She obviously didn't like that answer. Well, I just found out a week ago that my 35yr old beautiful and trusting girlfriend has been seeing another guy for ??? long. I found out the painful truth when I came over her house after she said she was going to bed early. Her excuse, "he is just a long time friend to talk to". I noticed the only light on in her house was the light from the t.v in her bedroom. Obvioulsy, she was doing something with him while she was in bed with him. She still denies she slept with him. Any advice? I think going to church is probably your best hope to find someone decent. I am an attractive guy, but not at all over confident. I tried the bar this weekend and came home more depressed and missing her than before I went there. Any advice??

I'm 33yrs old. Just when you think you found a real genuine girl they rip your heart into 1000 pieces. I thought I found my soulmate. But apparently not. I really though she was a sweet girl with great morales, but she has lied and betrayed me beyond belief. About 2 weeks ago, she told me she needed space to clear her head because she was mad at me for telling her we need to resolve some issues before we think about marriage. She obviously didn't like that answer. Well, I just found out a week ago that my 35yr old beautiful and trusting girlfriend has been seeing another guy for ??? long. I found out the painful truth when I came over her house after she said she was going to bed early. Her excuse, "he is just a long time friend to talk to". I noticed the only light on in her house was the light from the t.v in her bedroom. Obvioulsy, she was doing something with him while she was in bed with him. She still denies she slept with him. Any advice? I think going to church is probably your best hope to find someone decent. I am an attractive guy, but not at all over confident. I tried the bar this weekend and came home more depressed and missing her than before I went there. Any advice??

Well, tonight I found the hard truth, she is seeing someone else now. His car was in her driveway. Obviously, they were and are sleeping together and doing something I'd rather not know. My heart is soo broken into a million pieces. I've been with her for 2 years and I gave up everything for her. I will never trust women again! This is way too painful. Why couldn't she tell me the truth? The same day she said she loved me? I'm hating life! Help!

Purple Monster, my feelings really do go out for you for what you had to go through. You sound like you had the same dilemma I have. Thanks for your insight. She would say she was going to address the issues but never did when confronted with them each time. Actually, when her mom mentally beats up on her, she would call me crying and then I would get mad at her mom for treating her the way she did. She would say every choice she made in her life was wrong. I really think her mother was there to punish her for divorcing her control freak ex husband. I really could have told her mom a thing or two, but I new that would be crossing over too far - especially when I wasn't married to her. She would say I am done with my mom and I would support her. Then things would go quite and then her mom would go back to being mean to her again. I could only say to her,"maybe if you cut if off with her she would try to treat you better". I did tell her that if you keep letting your mom control you she'll end up controlling our lives if we are married. That is why I always asked her to confront her. I also tried to talk to her mom about how she treats her, but my GF would stop me each and every time. If she couldn't help me to help her, I don't know what else I could do.

Goodquestion - thanks for replying with your help. It not about being a strong enough man. I feel I meet that requirement very well. I've voiced my opinion many times to her and gave her my advice until I am blue in the face, but she will not let me be a authority figure to her kids. That is why my hands are tied.

Hello everyone, I am completely devastated. I can eat sleep or do anything. All I do is cry all day and night . My mind is in total disarray. My 35yr. old girlfriend of 2 years(soul mate is what I like to think of her) has decided out of the blue to keep her distance from me and shut me out of her life. I was late coming over one night because I was working on my beautiful new home that I just purchased, and I think she used this as an excuse to do this. I used to go over every night to sleep next to her, and I am sooo used to that. She always made me promise that I would never leave her and I did promise as she asked. She always made me promise that I would always sleep next to her too. Now she doesn't want to. I finally got out of her the real reason. We both went on a Carribbean Cruise in the first 3-4 months of meeting each other. She told me that when we went on a Carraibean Cruise in St. Thomas that she was really excited when we were looking at engagement rings. She didn't try any on, but we just looked. St. Thomas is known for their jewerly, so I looked out of curiosity, but she had other things in mind. About 1 1/2 years later she's now hurt, bitter, and discouraged that I never followed through on a ring and she's had her hoped up for all this time. My response has always been we have to resolve some major issues first before I can feel confident that we can make it in marriage: 1.) My GF is a divorced single mom that has 2 boys that are 9 and 6 yrs. old that do not listen to her. They are completely uncontrollable. So I ask her to show more discipline she won't - she avoids confrontation and that's not her style. She let's them walk all over her and my hands are tied behind my back. All I can do is watch. 2.) Her mother is very dominant and walks all over her and still talks down to her and my GF will not tell her off. 3.) Her ex is a major control freak and will not give here a schedule when he will pick up the kids. So, are lives are basically in control of these people because she lets them. She will not take him to the friend of the court. She's afraid to. 4.) I feel I am not number 1 in her life but a close 2 or 3 to her kids and her dominating mother. I told her I will get an engagement ring for her if she can follow through or at least tried, but she hasn't done anything to make me feel confortable about marriage. I love her very much, and I don't want to lose her. I never imagined my life without her and she always said the same to me, but I don't believe it anymore after what she has done. I know she loves me a lot. Like me, she hasn't been eating or sleeping for sometime either. Please help!!