Andy Scott

Here's a couple of other questions that could help with more advice: Has she taken the initiative and actually called you? Do you have feelings for her? Does she have trouble making conversation too?

Yeah, that fact about the conversation is pretty much on mark. A conversation flows smoothly when you've got good body language, eye contact, relaxed facial expressions, etc. That's a big part of a conversation, and sometimes not so much the words. However, a conversation can't work unless you DO talk, haha. What are you reasons for getting back together? Do you know hers, and have you asked her? How about yours? I think that if it's difficult for you to keep a conversation going with her, it's not that you have to 'get better,' it may just mean you don't connect well with her. Maybe she's not your type? That's just a guess, though. If you truly want the relationship to work deep down, then you'll find no trouble to adapting and getting a convo going. I hope that puts it into perspective.

Actually, I think what the situation was, was that he realized she was more into just having a friendship (or so he thought), so he cut it off. Am I wrong on that assumption?

Haha, yeah, I'm a little lost when you say 'get your mack on.' I agree though, I think that the girl might be a little sketchy if she all of a sudden notices you just for your good looks. Give me some more history though. Do you know each other well and are you friends? If so, then I can understand because she already would appreciate your personality, and then just getting an improved look builds on top of that. If not, I suggest you investigate, or if you're brave enough, talk to her about it.

Deeplydepressed (the name worries me ) has got a good point about that. I don't necessarily think that a 'lack' of dating in high school can hurt you in the long run for dating, because you're going to catch up sooner or later. But then again, it can be helpful. Very few people are able to handle a serious relationship in high school since they're so caught up in the popularity (and everything that comes with it). But hey! That's ok. 8) Just like you're learning to become more mature as you grow older, learning about relationships and the kind of person you're interested in is a great thing to figure out when in high school. Don't feel forced to, however, waiting can be just as good because though you may not experience actual relationships, you're still maturing in other ways that can be beneficial to you later on. w0rd 0X

Hmmm......hmmmmm...........(signals attempt at deep thought) From my perspective, I think it might have just been the situation, and it's not as bad as you might think it is. If he had been showing interest in you up to that point, I wouldn't read too much into his interaction when you were with your friend. I would say, wait for him a few days, then give him a call if he doesn't. Ask him how he's doing and what's been happening in his life, then you'll get your real answer when he chimes in to keep the conversation going. Big key: If a guy likes you, he will do everything in his power to keep conversation going (as long as he isn't shy, but he doesn't seem it). Be carefree and relaxed about it, I'm convinced he'll come panting 8)

I'm sure the all capitals emphasizes what you're saying, of course

I think you brave in the way you overcome this without taking it too hard. That's a sign of strength, bravery, and that you know you can move past it.

See, thinking ahead, that's what women do. 8)

Whoa...did I totally miss like 3 pages of replies???? Haha! Sorry, you can disregard all of that, I'm behind on all of it. Sorry again!

Hmm...personally I wasn't really freaked out by the obsession thing, because I like to be accepting of all kinds of people. It reminded me, actually, of a really strange movie that I saw a couple of days ago called 'Garden State.' But I have to say, out of all of the independent films I have seen thus far, I have never enjoyed any as much as I did that one. For some reason, it just connected with me, just like Vixil's words. Now as you probably read, this boy we've come to call Jason has changed, and even though I don't know the whole story, I think that we should be there more for support than advice from here on out. Unless you want advice Vixil, I'm here for support. If you've got AIM, my screen name is AJaxStar123 and email is email removed. Don't hesitate if you just want someone to talk to, the simply feeling of hands on your shoulders and ears resting near your lips gives you relief like you don't even know. Talk, and someone will listen. It will feel good, I promise.

Hailey's got a point with the last one =) a) It's sad that guys don't have enough blood to run their brain and their sex drive at the same time, we aren't multi-taskers like women are! b) Guys are often slow to take hints and small pokes from women that are key clues to attraction. (this is something I've learned from friends young and old) c) Did you also know that the male's brain, specifically the front section designated for dedication and important decisions is not fully developed until the age of 25 (average of course)? Those are a couple of facts to keep in mind as you date accross the spectrum, but also remember that not all guys are driven by their hormones. Some have the conscience and the heart to think of women more than that, and though they may be spread out and hard to find, they're there. Sorry, little tangent over. I think that in this case, this guy you're in contact with could be a sufferer of case B above, heh heh. Or, like others have said, he may not be interested in something more. Personally, I've never been freaked out when a girl has given me clues that show she's attracted to me, it's flattering to discover. Keep in contact with him and be open with him about you feel, if you're a type of girl who likes to communicate openly about feelings. After moving on from an 8 year relationship, I'd say you have quite a bit of experience under your belt, so use that to pursue him if you're interested. He may just be a NYE acquaintence like some have said, but I agree with what you're doing. Don't be too worried about rejection. And, like I always say in my posts, I apologize for all of the tangents, and I would never expect you to simply 'do' as your told. It's always easier to write the words than carry them out. Hey, good luck though. Oh, and just to add as a side thought (this is an edit), I know that most women find a kiss much more passionate and meaningful than some men do. Personally, I save a kiss for when I really mean it.

Random Hero, are you my twin? Haha. Yeah, that's actually one of the few things I've done on dates when going to the movies. I know you're shy, but even shy guys can smile if they need to. The best mindset to have is that if you act like someone else in the beginning of a relationship (whether its just dating or becomes serious) you will have to show her your true self sooner or later. Why not show her now and be totally floored by her response? If she doesn't fly with it, you made the right decision starting early. Of course I could never expect you to just do as I say, of course it's not as easy as that! The best thing to keep in mind, however, is that you're only hurting yourself and the 'connection' in the long term acting out of character. Be Yourself! If you do that you will feel more comfortable, will probably make it easier for her to feel more comfortable, and enjoy yourself WAY more! 8) You got the power man, you've got the power. Crack a couple jokes or funny comments here and there if they pop into your head, lightens the mood.

Who in their right mind would say things like that to you? Not any friend of yours, I would think, that's incredibly cruel. Screw them. He was looking through your wallet for what? Here for support if you need it =)

Whew! Well I just read through nearly 5 full pages of forum messages and I can confidentally say I'm 'in' with the situation now. Before I get started on my post, I have to tell you Vixil, I'm a little disappointed you didnt know about 'breaking the ice' when you're from Iceland!!! Haha, I'm just messing with you, it was just an....attempt at humor. I guess it failed. I wanna apologize ahead of time in case I forget all of these bits of advice I was gathering while reading, I happen to have the worst memory known to man. Mmhmm...you'll see my name recorded in the World Records (I'm not a.d.d. I promise, this is like a preparation). I can't say that I know what an obsession is like from personal experience, but I want to do my best to chat with you about what I believe in. Obsessions are the seeds of the emotions you have gathered inside of your heart. When you first have an obsession for someone, it's like those seeds are bursting open all at once without any control, flooding your senses and holding you prisoner, shackled to this person you're obsessed over! It's absolutely crazy! Am I kind of on track so far? Jason, as you call him, is a guy who seems to fit well within the group whether he has much in common or not, (I'm guessing) mostly because he's a listener and very accepting of people. There are a couple of reasons why I'm guessing you admire him. The other aspect about obsessions that I've got on my mind is that it sometimes can be for someone you barely know at all. I know PLENTY of my friends who are girls that have an obsession on Brad Pitt, and they don't even know that ugly guy (haha, I'm sure someone will yell at me for that). I definitely do not want to make assumptions, because this is your show, not mine, so sorry if I do make a couple along the way! From what I remember, you see him roughly every 3 to 6 weeks for a day at a time, and at events having to do with drama and plays. You've never really spent true 1-on-1 time with him before, so that contributes to your growing need to become friends with him. Oh, while I'm thinking of it, you can't fool me, I know that if you're obsessed with someone, you definitely want more than a friendship. It's just something you have to accept, I'm psychic. What do you like about Jason? Telling me about it will do 2 things for you: it will give you better advice from other people, and help you sort out your feelings even more. Type out as many as you can think of, and don't be afraid to leave anything out, you'll never see any of us and we're all accepting here. I know everyone in here is giving you great input and advice, so here's something else to keep in mind. We're not expecting you to do everything we say, because who can ever follow through with doing what people say? It's so much easier to write the words that carry out the actions, and that's just a fact. I think what's important for you to remember is that you're 16. Jason, as much of a great guy as he seems to you, is someone you may have to accept as just an acquaintence or nothing at all. I hate being harsh, but the best way to move on from situations is to face the problem directly. Don't side-step. Another thing I want to get to then as well. I believe in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I know it's hard to gather confidence within yourself to do the things you want, but just think. What you have to gain is so much more than what you have to lose. You have the opportunity to rise above the horizon to show him who you are. Being me, I find it attractive when a girl has lots of confidence and likes to grab my attention. I don't know too much about Iceland, but is there any way other than the phone and in person in which you can get into contact with him? I know it's settling for rock-bottom, but if you have something like an instant messaging program that he has as well, it makes it much easier. If you don't, then it's even easier to realize that there are few differences between the phone and something more informal. You are still affecting people in the same way whether you're on the phone or writing emails or whatever. Be brave and realize that if you do something like that, and if its meant to happen, it could turn into something really great. Vixil, I'm absolutely positive you're a great girl, and that despite the fact you may be different, you have so much to offer to someone else. Over time what will come with your confidence is the ability to attract guys that are more alike you, and it will be so much easier for you to express the feelings within your heart rather than letting the seeds sit inside. If Jason doesnt realize that you have great things to offer, than he is honestly not worthy of you. One of the users posted earlier about bringing him down to your level. That's absolutely right. In order to gain confidence, show him what you have to offer, and realize whether he deserves you or not, you should bring him down to your level. He's no more of a celebrity than you are, and the sooner you discover that, the easier it will be to either move past this obsession, or make something out of it. I would never ask you to give up, that's against who I am. I would, however, ask you to move on if you truly know that it won't work out to what you want it to be. You can let go if you need to I believe in you. Andy