Angelicfruitcake

AH I should have added im 18 next week. I know surgeons dont operate on people under 18 lol.... Im thinking about it for nearly 20 anyway

Im very flat chested and always will be according to the females in my family. I hate talking about my body dispite im actually quite happy with my wieght. The only thing that gets my down is my breasts. I dont even have a cleavage when i lean over and squeze mt arms together! Ive never really discuced this with anyone till out of the blue my mum said that if she was my age she would have opted for surgery on the NHS. She says that with my size i could get a breast enlargment. She also told my that growing up she always was conscious about her size. Ive had clinic depression about my body before but that was caused by an ex bouyfriend. Recently though I over herd two of my male friends joking about how small i was... one I was in a relationship with I want this but im not sure how I go about doing it. Im not sure if the doctors will consider my case because i find it hard to talk about my body. Ive had councilling before and that hasent helped with my body issues. What do I do?

Ok this weekend im going to a party with my brother and his friends, Its going to be amazing ive been looking foreward to it for weeks! Only now at the last minute I have discovered something, my friend, whom I think extremly highly of is going. This bloke I have had the hugest crush on since I first met him 2 months ago, We got off to an extremly good start, within 3 days he told me he really liked me. A nice person is to good to be true though. He is a casual user of drugs and even though it does not bother me one bit the drugs sometimes mess with his head... in conclusion, he will either be lovely or a complete egotistical retard, depends whats happening. Over the 2 months alot has happened up and downs, we even have had little flings (not serious ones, just drunken playness) last time i saw him we where at a party chatting happily,... that was 1 week ago. im really really nervous about this. The party is a really loved up place basically im sick of being besotted with him and have decided if the time comes to be right im gonna tell him how i feel... well hint I myself an am extremly paranoid person, I keep thinking he has a girlfriend and he hates me, Ive had a hint he has a girlfriend but it wasent a very good one basically my brother said "the girl who was with him looked like a cat" even this was enough to put me into a state of depression. The problem is, im not excacty gonna be sober at this place but not wasted either, however if he is a retard or has a girlfriend im gonna be really really upset im so nervous about it I really dunno if i want to see him or not.... Dunno if anyone can give me advice on this matter, I just wanna say something. If all goes to pot I have my friends there to go off with, but ive never felt anything like this about someone, Ive tried to forget him so many times by seeing other people but I cant like them as much as him. The fact that 2 months ago he said he liked me and I dident do anything is eating away at me. Have I left it to late? Whatever happeneds will happen tomorow, my stomach is turning and I dont want this party to be about him. I wanna have a good time normally im not interested in boys when im having fun but this is a completely different matter Help

Hey I finealy met my ex new g/f after a year we had split up (she never came to any of our partys) It kinda hurt.... it does hurt to see someone you liked with a new person, like it hurts to see someone you like with someone else. We'll id just tell you to ignore it, dont be the jelous interfereing ex just let it blow over you. you will find a replacement for him. thats what happened between me and my first boyfriend... when I first met his new g/f i dident like her but after I ket go of all the memories and what had been I realised she was an extremly nice girl.

My trigger point is relationships between men and friends. Sounds petty but My depression was triggerd by an extremly bad break up. When I am dumped rejected or a friend bails on me... I just feel so low, like I am a really discusting person and I dont deserve them. I am just the most ugly thing on this planet... thats my motive, sometimes I hate myself so much i just want to change myself the only way i can be happy is on drugs. Thats my reasons anyway, I dunno when its going to hit me though ill be happy one miniute and all it will take is one sentance someone will say and suddenly ill be depressed..

Mine started when I was really drunk... my boyfriend who had suddenly dumped me a day before turned up to a club with a girl he knew I dident like and kissed her in front of me.... I got extremly liquired up went home and tried to kill myself by drinking bleach and slitting my wrists.... Thats basically how it started for me... It doesnt make anything better... when I get upset I just go into a trance and mutilate myself, they are not easy to hide either the worst I ever did was cut myself on both arms from wrist to elbows about 200 times... it was so painful i couldent even touch my arm for 3 days. Mine doesnt make me feel better. I think of it as a punishment but after half an hour dont even know why I did it, but im stuck for a few weeks with terrible scars on my arms....

Dunno if its the same for blokes but generally if they are flamboyant and confident in themselves its really sexy... for example... Justin Hawkins from the darkness... looking at him he's not that attractive, but his performance, personallity and flambouyancy make him stand out. Maybe this is just it for me

Oi men what is "fit"? In magazines and films all you women are skinny big boobs and blonde... but you dont go out with these type of girls... People punish themselfs with diets and exercise to become your vision of beauty. Personally i like to make myself interesting (pink dreads/ peircings) than pretty but still I do care about my figure and looks... some times to a point when it drives me insane. So what is beautiful?... i think men normally go for a fuller figured women so why do magazines glamourise anorexia? My friend once said she thinks men would say "ooo shes fit" at a passing super model but if she asked him for a serious relationship he would turn her down becasue hes afraid of other men looking at her... is this true?

All men like nice quite girls... .ah well... Im very loud sometimes, and very weird... I love clubbing and its not gonna change... funnily the blokes who like me are always more outgoing and just about break the boundries of eccentricness. I like this kind of person though... makes you laugh but can be serious and sweet.

Men like nice innocent girls... this is why i have no boyfriend... im just mad I feel sick when I see all the girls at partys and all they are doing is sitting next to their boyfriends being pretty, its not fun at all. Id hate to be someones piece of show off material. Thats not life. There should be some guys who want someone wild and crazy and im just waiting for them. I dont have the sweetness and motherly care most of these nice straight haired girls do .. .but hell I can put up a good time lol When I was seeing some one at a festival they wanted me to stand next to them all the time and hold their hand. No way I wanted to dance! Im nice really after you get passed the pointless banter and hangovers at weekends 8) Sweet inocent girls... you may get all the men but none of you have lived until youve spent 14 hours dancing to ear splitting music dressed in everything pink and fluffy

I split up with my first "serious" boyfriend about 3 months ago... Im fully over him but I cant stand him, seeing him, thinking about him. When I first met him I was struggling with deppresion that im thankfully over now, hes easy to talk to so he learnt alot about me in a month... then using my weakness used me, he cheated on me numerous times when I wouldent see him, he slept with me then dumped me. As I had depression it ripped me apart, He mad me feel so low about myself I wanted to die and tried to kill myself in front of my mum. Anyway with help I over came it, got over him now I dont even feel anything but this hatred for him... The thing is he keeps trying to contact me asking if I want to meet up, he comes over to me in the street saying hallo.... Do you really think he knows what he's done? Everytime I see him I want to hurt him very badly (sorry for being mean) but i cant help it. I have so many people who support me in the matter that he is scum on earth... it is my fault for trusting him, but i cant show what a huge mistake he was... Even when I meet new people who just say something he did example I met a bloke who told me i was so pretty, something my ex used to say, I couldent say anything I just wanted to punch him, just simple things like that boil my blood, everytime a relationship falls apart... i remind my self of him and feel so low again, like im such a horrible ugly person I dont deserve anyone, One day I know all this rage will come out that im not looking foreward to becasue I normally take it out on myself.