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Found 14 results

  1. We've been married a bit over 4 years now. This hasn’t been an issue in the past, but it’s recently been becoming more and more of an issue every day. I’m very shy, not at all a people person. I’m civil and polite to others at all times but I will never go out of my way to strike up a conversation with a stranger. My husband is the exact opposite. When we were dating he’d tell me that he would go out to bars and clubs and make aggressive eye contact with strangers as way to make new friends. I admired that but, to me, that sounds horrifying. My husband had become a regular customer at a strip club near our house (I don’t have an issue with the club) and has been insisting that I tag along. I am not a “club” or “bar person”, the idea of hanging out with drunk horny men and half naked women literally makes me sick. I’ve told my husband numerous times that there is no way I’ll ever go to a strip club and he’s just not getting it. He’s bringing it multiple times a day now, saying things like “one day I’ll buy you a lap dance” and it just makes me want to cry. Today we got into a fight and the cliff notes of the fight are that my husband feels I need to be a more social person. Now, he’s not totally wrong. I am extremely un social. But, I feel like he’s taking it to an extreme here. I don’t feel like I should HAVE to go to a strip club with my husband in an effort to be more social. In fact, I don’t feel like I have to go to a strip club at all. Most importantly though, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills because my husband whole heartily disagrees with me and it’s becoming an issue in our marriage. I want to find a middle ground for us to both enjoy but it’s proving to be difficult and all options lead to me talking to people pretty much no matter what. I’m basically the bad guy in this situation and there’s nothing I can do about it. Any advice is appreciated. I mostly just want to get this off my chest as I have no desire to talk to other humans about this. Thank you in advance.
  2. what, in your opinion is the best way to ask out a girl. Either gender can responde. the girl that i am interested in is kindof introverted, but loves to sing and be on stage, so she is kindof on the boarder of Introvert and extrovert like me. What would work better. Being direct, writing a letter, or something else. i'm open to ideas.
  3. I wrote this thread the other day but now the situation has changed so I will summarise what has happened below - Went out on 3 dates with a guy from university (out for a drink and to the cinema) We liked each other but I told him we were total opposites i'm shy/quiet he's loud/extrovert/popular. He said he liked that so I decided to give it another go. - So next time, he asked me round his place to watch a movie, we didn't watch much of it… - The next time he just asks me round his place, same thing happens (no s_x though) - Now from what I gathered is that he only wants one thing and I am not prepared to give it to him because we hardly talk apart from when he asks me round - I told him that this is too casual for me and he says he respects my decision and that we can still be friends However last night he sent me a text saying "if you aren't going out tonight u should come round to watch a film but if not, have a good night" I didn't text back. I thought we worked out I wasn't going to come round anymore? Why is he messing with my head. I know he only wants casual s_x but he knows I am not into that. What shall I say when he next asks me round? I think I am too nice to him and too weak to tell him I can't see him anymore, maybe he thinks he can walk all over me.
  4. After 18 months of seeing each other at work everyday, he is STILL shy around only me. Hes perfectly normal with everybody else, if anything; people would label him an extrovert and talkative. Of late, we've been desperately trying to talk to each other as well, but the shyness/awkwardness just isnt wearing off. Yesterday, i made a lame excuse to talk to him, and ended up giving him 'the smile' ( yknow, prolonged smile/gaze with twinkle in eye) and I was taken aback to see that the guy was almost trembling. I didnt know whether i was flattered or worried.Worst part is him being nervous is making me nervous too. Later he came back to make some more "small talk", and seemed really composed and serious. However, If i see him around, he avoids looking at my face, and pretends not to see me. Im just confused and tired, so appreciate some help here.thx
  5. I've been on dating apps for a while on/off for a couple of years. Since the pandemics started I returned back to it with no expectations that I will ever meet anyone. And to be honest that was the case from March until August. Then things changed. I did not only started to get more matches but also almost every person I matched with accepted an invitation for a date. Just to clarify, I did not look for an ONS and the only matches I chose to meet were the ones that seemed to have similar hobbies like me. Long story short, what I figure out is that all of my matches had these traits: * Were very talkative (extroverts?).
 * were sharing flats with a few other people.
 * Were bored of their inner social circle.
 * Unemployed (due to pandemics).
 * did not show interest in a 2nd date (the ones that I met. Might also be my fault, I didn't feel of putting effort).
 What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel that a new type of people started to use dating apps?
  6. I'm curious as to what type of girl really calls your attention, and which type you'd classify as a potential for a long-term relationship, whether it be the fun cheerleader or the quiet scholar type. Personally, I'm drawn to girls that are intelligent, no doubt. You know, the ones that are classy, witty, reserved, and definitely not one of those loose extrovert types. I like them to be down-to-earth and family-oriented, preferably. I guess you could say that I like the "librarian" good girl type, but that's just me. Nonetheless, I do enjoy having the more extroverted and playful ones as friends, because they're fun to be around. I want to read your opinions, guys.
  7. I don't want anything. Last year today (I am 32 years old) I had my first kiss. I saw that guy up for two dates, because we had nothing in common and I could not see myself actually dating him. I met another guy, who was everything I have always wanted, charming, fun, extrovert, affectionate in public (that was really important to me) and in private (also he wrote to me every day, for the entire time we wre together), one I was sure I did not derserve, and in the end, it was only a FWB for him. For me that he was too busy (I grew up in an household where everyone was busy) was normal and that we could only going to movies/dinners out was ok because that was for the first two months, and for other two we saw each other only a few times because it was busy. It ended very badly because I gave everything (and I don't mean phsicially, the physical part was really good, and I have never felt used, I loved it). After I ended it, because he finally admitted that he did not want a serious thing with me (I was a virgin, and at my first relationship and he did not want to risk having a serious thing with me); I was completely lost. I went a bit crazy, I was even more obsessed than before about findind someone else. I met this guy, and at the beginning I really liked him. I had to restrain myself to write to him. We have been dating for the last two months, and I found out that we have similar tastes in things that we do together. I have been doing thing with him that I always wanted to do with my boyfriend. Going to the teathre, musical concerts, music nights in pubs. The sex is good; we are working together on things. The rest of my life is going smashly. I have so many friends now and my job give me a lot of satisfaction. For the first time in my life I have everything I want to but: The thing is I found out he is shy. There are moments, when we do not have anything to say. And this weights on my mind a lot. There is also the fact that I am very guarded in how I behave in public and in private so even if we have fun I can't bear the tought of feeling anything. And it is not only for him, if a guy like my ex (one more charming and extrovert) would appear I would run! For the first time in my life I have everything I have always wanted but it doesn't feel special.
  8. I had friends until i was 17. But since i was 17 i had zero friends irl. 2 internet friends only (males). Nobody wants to talk with me in real life, i try as hard as i can but nothing happens. Online i also struggle, only 2 guys i have had chemistry with. I get inored when trying to chat with people or they stop writing to me after 3-4 sentance or call me boring, weird etc... I understand why nobody wants to be my friend....i am unbelievable ugly, boring as hell, weird...have no social life.....in this extrovert society we live in i do not fit...people think because i am so ugly, weird and have no social life that becuase of this i am some sort of dangerous creepy psychopath.... people have sterotypes about this type of guys. i will never be accepted by anyone... how do i accept being alone my whole life? when i think about it i start to cry... sorry for bad english...
  9. Hey guys, I feel smothered by the girl I'm seeing but it's definetly not her fault, I'm an introverted guy and I crave being alone most of the time, I'm not anti-social , actually pretty talkative about meaningful conversations, small talk however, drains the living soul out of me. I told the girl im seeing that i need more space, she got offended and took it personally, I tried to explain that it has nothing to do with her, but obviously i understand why she was offended. I'm having a hard time with relationships because of this part of myself. Why would someone want to date someone who craves solitude just as much as they want company? Can an extrovert and an Introvert ever get along and understand each other? Or do I constantly feel smothered because she's simply not for me and constantly wants to hangout. I'm wondering what you guys think, preferably anyone who's ever experienced this.
  10. Hello, Just a simple question: Is it normal to still not have had a proper relashionship at 22 years old (female)? Also is it acceptable to not have had SEX at this age? To clarify the background, I have been moving more than once and changed my way of living etc, from Oklahoma to Ohio and finally in Nevada. So, the idea is I really needed to study and pay for myself, so that I have been busy with this and never has a proper relashionship apart from some dating. Secondly, I have this type of character that I cannot have a relashionship with somebody just to try it. I really need to know somebody and then like him and then move forward. Probably from my lasting working hours and studying, I dont even find too much time for dating. I have just dated twice in my life and nothing. The thing is that I have had possibilities to go out with plenty of guys I just didnt see myself with them. So, one thing leads to another, my busy timetable, my character I'm not that extrovert too, and here I am. I find it a bit weird, so I never share it with people that I still dont have any good relashionship, but just wanted to share it here. Is it normal? And to answer teh question, have I ever wanted to go out with somebody or have I ever liked somebody? Yes, I do, I am not the type that says that no guy is good for me. I just want the one that make me feel something. If I do not find anybody like that I just dont care at all. But I also see that it is important to share things with somebody, I sometimes feel teh need to share my life with someone. On teh other hand when somebody tries to approach me I just dont consider if nor the right one just the one that I have in my mind, or the one that I already like once but that was impossible to be with him. Is something wrong with me? Should I hurry a little bit cause this pace is not good? To not talk about sex that also have never had. Thanks?
  11. So there was this guy i like and we hit it off right away, he is an introvert, where as i am an extrovert. We are kind of completely opposite, in all ways. But i really like him he is away for the holidays, and i miss him!, we are supposed to go on a date when he gets back crazy excited. i love every aspect of him hes amzing, we can just sit and t alk about nothing and even about important stuff. Hes great, if i havent mentioned. He is concerned about me, and wants to meet my family which is unusual for someone my age...im 17. he seems so grown up. However im wondering will our differences get in the way. He has had a rough family past where as i havent, me and my family are really close. we both have low self estheems which could be lethal, am i overthinking this? i dont know, hes also gone away for 3 weeks and im scared he wont come back, he assured me her would but im still not so sure, someone needs to help me put my mind at ease!...please!
  12. Hey all, I used to be a hermit when it came to anything social -- family, friends, classmates. For many years, I was always the shy, quite kid in the back of the classroom with no one to bond with. Over time I have become more talkative, especially when I get to know someone and break the ice so to speak. However, though I do enjoy talking, I am naturally not into talking, even if I have something to talk about... if that makes sense. It's not in my character to be the leader of the group, the center of attention, to always be moving the lips and creating dialogue. Am I always going to be introverted me, or will I eventually get to the point where I am naturally an extrovert? Thanks, easyguy
  13. Mine are: Stability results were very high which suggests you are extremely relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Trait snapshot: rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful ___________________________ 14 Aug 2006, couple drinks and sleepy Extraversion |||||||||||||| 53% Stability |||||||||||||||||| 76% Orderliness |||||||||||| 46% Accommodation |||||||||||| 50% Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76% Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 70% Mystical || 10% Artistic |||| 16% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||| 30% Materialism || 10% Narcissism |||||| 30% Adventurousness || 10% Work ethic |||||||||| 36% Self absorbed |||||| 23% Conflict seeking |||| 16% Need to dominate || 10% Romantic || 10% Avoidant || 10% Anti-authority |||| 16% Wealth |||||||||||| 50% Dependency || 10% Change averse |||||| 23% Cautiousness |||||| 23% Individuality || 10% Sexuality |||||||||||||||||| 76% Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical fitness |||||||||||| 50% Histrionic || 10% Paranoia || 10% Vanity |||| 16% Hypersensitivity || 10% Female cliche |||||| 23% Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.. Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun. Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting. Trait snapshot irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful ___________________________ I found the test on someones homepage. The test result surprised me, I was just happy about it. No test is 100% but I feel that there are few discrepancies between my test result and how I am on this site. Everyone can read my posts after all. I work on being more sensitive in order to not upset others and shall think twice before posting another test here. As to starting a religion, No thank you. 20 years of old Asian philosophy must have rubbed off on me. Loving oneself and others, leaving fears, unmet expectations and regrets behind leads to inner peace. I am very contend and easy these days and eNotAlone contributes to that. Learning from others and helping others balanced me, I feel complete and happy. I am confident that everyone balancing themselves will see equivalent results in the test result. Please read about balancing yourself in: Wicked.
  14. This cover, it holds me much too tight Sparing of this worlds awful fright I've lived in a cage and was fed all the lies I've lived in a maze of hate and despise I know not of what truly exists I know all that is happy in extrovert bliss I seek not truth nor honor or glory I seek what is fake for my own story I smile I wave, I'll shake your hand a conversation I'll make that’s dull and bland I'll take your money your faith your need I'll take your family for personal greed Thanks for my suit, my tie and car Thanks for the numbers you've given so far I can sing I can dance, I can holler and shout but its my thin lips that lie with no doubt I ask for your faith, love and concern I'll take all you're honesty and watch it burn Give me the money, the power I seek I take what I can from all that is weak Now I hold a great place in power sitting firm in my ivory tower You've let my rhymes trick you my song, my dance you didn’t look twice, not a second glance Here I am all that is faithful Here I am all that is true don't blame yourself citizen I am here I am here...the destructive nature of you.
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