melodymel

Hi I would say to wait for a while before calling him and see if he calls you instead. Seems like you've done a lot of the running around so its now his turn You say you now have your emotions under control, so if he doesn't call you should be able to handle it. Mel.

Hi Switchbladeromance I would say not to contact her. If she has asked for time and space, then give it to her. In time she may want to contact you or if enough time has passed then you may want to contact her. Say in 2-3 months. Mel.

Hi Spicy Wonder I don't think writing a letter is a good idea. Especially at this early stage ( how long has it been since you two split up?) I think that you definitely need time to heal and get on with your life, known on this forum as NC (No Contact). If he already thinks you're mad, then writing a letter will only aggravate the situation. If you really want him to see that you are sorry and have changed then you must not contact him at all. You must resist the temptation to call or contact him. Instead, try to move on. You need time to heal yourself and in a couple of months down the line, when you are a whole lot stronger, then maybe you could contact him ( if you still care for him) and who knows what could happen then. Maybe you'll have met someone else. But DO NOT write a letter!! My boyfriend split up with me end of April, by text! Needless to say I was absolutely furious and confronted him about this via email. So we exchanged a couple of heated emails, but at no point did I beg him to come back. I basically told him he was a coward and did not deserve me etc. I had absolutely no contact with him since then, till about two weeks ago. In the mean time I went about sorting myself out. WEnt to the gym and have managed to lose 12lbs and I look good (even if I say so myself!) Anyway, I emailed him just a light email. He responded within 3 hrs and we have exchanged a few emails since! My next move is to ask him out for a drink. So give it time. Fight the temptation to call or write him. Move on with your life. if my ex and I get back then that would be brilliant. But I am emotionally strong now, that if nothing came of it, I wouldn't be devastated. Hope this helps. Mel.

Hi Clare Guess you are right. I will continue to email him though. I always keep my emails light and friendly and don't give away anything about what I have been up to. In his first email he told me he'd been made redundant and had some interviews lined up. So I replied and wished him well for the interviews. He did say in his first mail that it was nice to hear from me( twice I might add) and looked forward to hearing more. Okay. So he hasn't declared undying love to me. But then nothing ventured nothing gained!! And no, my life is not on standby. Quite the opposite actually. By the way Clare. I'm in Leeds. So not too far from you. Mel. XX

Thanks When I was first together with my ex, he never used the X but started to later on especially when sending lovey dovey type of messages. I am in England by the way. Mel.

Hi All Just a quick question really. My ex boyfriend and I have recently started communicating via email. In all the three emails he has sent me so far he has signed off with his name and an X next to it. A friend of mine told me that means a kiss. Is this right? Or am I just reading too much into the whole thing? The first two emails had one X and the third had 2Xs. Thank you Mel.

Thanks for the response Cassiana. What happened with your boyfriend? Did you see it coming at all? My /f didn't even have the guts to tell me to my face. He just stopped callind and returnning my messages and when I finally pushed him, he told me via text that he wanted to be on his own! I think I will do as you suggest. When he replies (I'm being positive on this) I will probably email back immediately and then like you say vary the time lapse between emails. I'm just confused as to why its taking him so long this time!! Well at least he did respond! How have you been keeping yourself occupied during NC and how hard or easy has it been for you? Mel.

Hi Sparrow Thanks for your response. After 3 months of NC one would think I could deal with 3 days of NC!! I just was starting to be really positive about it all and then nothing! Maybe he is just waiting till he has something to e-mail me about. In the last e-mail I sent I tried to keep it open to response, but without giving away too much about how I am doing, it wasn't easy. Well the ball is in his court now and I hope he does respond. By the way if you put an X in an email, does it really mean a kiss. Or is it just me living inthe dark ages? Mel

Just an update Well I finally contacted the ex. I e-mailed him. Just a light e-mail asking how he was and hoping he had a good weekend. He responded within three hours! He said it was really good to hear from me and hoped I was well. He also told me that he had been made redundant and that he had 4 interviews lined up for a new job. I was really shocked aboutthe job but really pleased to hear from him. I waited two days before I responded (didn't want to seem too keen). I wished him well for the interviews and just said to be positive. Again, he responded within three hours. Said thanks for the best wishes and asked how I was getting on with my new car (which I got while we were still together). He said he looked forward to hearing more of my adventures with my new car. Again, I waited two days before I responded. I sent another ligth and breezy email. That was on Wednesday (3 days ago) and I've not heard from him since!! What is going on?? In both the emails he sent , he signed his name at the end and put an X, which i have been told means a kiss? Do you think I should just wait and see if he responds or shall I write again ( honestly don't think I will). Maybe he just hasn't accessed his mail yet. I was beginning to be really hopeful about this and now I'm not so sure. Any advice will be much appreciated. Mel.

Thanks for the response Craig Yes I do want him back. I have been agonising for quite a while about whether or not to get in touch with his parents. They are truly good people. Its him that I am not so sure about. I do not want to appear desparate but on the other hand I do want to get in touch. I really have a strong suspicion that there was definitely something that happened fro him to behave in the way he did. Actually when we first got together last September, by November he decided he needed time out and wanted space. Being rather naive at that time, I did the whole begging, pleading and constant calling thing. I was really distraught then. But after a few weeks I would only get in touch maybe once a week and I guess that was the trick because a couple of weeks before Xmas we were back together. I asked him what had made him change his mind and he said that at that moment he did not feel he could talk about it but with time he would tell me. I accaepted that and didn't ask again. He is a divorced man with 10 year old twins from his ex wife. His kids live with their mother and from what I gathered from his mother, he had a really rough time of the whole marriage and divorce.I met his children at Xmas as well as the rest of the family as I spent Xmas with them. I met most of his friends at his work Xmas party and we made so many plans for the rest of the year.....then he goes and dumps me!! So out of character. So my dilemma continues. Anymore opinions would be gratefully appreciated. Mel.

Hello All I have just joined the forum and this is my first posting. My boyfriend split up with me in April of this year. needless to say I was gutted. He just decided that we were not right for each other and that he found relationships hard and wanted to be on his own. This was via text message. I decided not to call him and instead sent him an email. We exchanged a few heated emails and he basically wrote that he did not want to hear from me and wanted to be left alone. And so I did!. I was really hurt. I loved him so much and still do. But we have had absolutely no contact at all since then! I just went about sorting myself out and really enjoying myself. It wasn't easy at first but I managed. When we split his mum was really upset. She liked me a lot and I liked her too. Infact , the very first week end we split I went to his mum's for the afternoon. We didn't discuss my ex at all. His parents are such lovely people. They said I was always welcome at their home anytime despite me and their son splitting up. However I did not maintain any contact with them either. I just thought it would be too much for me to deal with. Until now. This past weekend I sent them a postcard. His mum rang me as soon as she got it. She was really pleased to hear from me and again said I was welcome at theirhome whenever I wanted to. Infact she invited me over this week end. I'm not sure if I should go. She is really keen to see me again. She asked if I was seeing anyone. i told her I wasn't (which is true). She then said she really regretted what happened between me and her son. I did not ask about the ex so I don not know if he is seeing anyone. My dilemma is this. I feel that enough time has passed and want to contact my ex. Iwas thinking of a light and breezy email.. Maybe say sorry for the nasty email? Ask how he is doing? Suggest meeting up for a drink? Don't know. What do you all think? I suspect something major happened to him that resulted in the break up. it was so out of the blue. I also suspect he swore his parents to secrecy to not divulge anything to me. In one of his emails he said something along the lines of "my mum will not tell you anything contrary to what I already have told you" So thats why I think there is somthing happeneing here. So what do you guys think I should do. Should i email him? Should I take up his mum's invitation? Thank you for reading this log mail. Mel.