boltnrun

I'm not so much worried about the cost. It's more the idea of dirty workers with their dirty hands and dirty shoes coming into my apartment potentially tracking something in. And I don't mean dirty as in they are unclean people. I mean they often are not mindful or diligent about walking on carpet with dirty shoes or touching my belongings with dirty hands. It's funny, last fall I had a mattress set delivered and the headboard and frame installed. All I did was wipe down the headboard with furniture spray, vacuum my carpet and then just slapped some sheets on the mattress! I didn't worry one bit about germs or viruses. Now it's a huge concern. At least I'm not getting as many bites. The past two nights I only got one bite each night. I'm going to ask my son to help me put my bed back on the frame. Right now it's just sitting on the carpet because the movers didn't bother setting it up. I did get some good news today. I was scheduled to work onsite Friday but the training coordinators decided to have us wait until next week. They seem to not be sure where to place all of us, so they decided to hold off. That gives me another week to get used to the idea. Also, the psychologist told me he has no appointments available for a few weeks so I got referred to someone else (she has the same last name so I presume she is the first doctor's wife or sister which is interesting). I hope she can see me soon. I bought a peach pie yesterday. Once it's out of "quarantine" tomorrow I will be enjoying it!

I need a few things (and I have become very good at "speed shopping" lol) but I am comforted knowing that even though the idiots who run the county government think masks aren't needed any longer the store ownership seems to care. So although they cannot require that customers wear masks they ARE implementing social distancing and are having their employees wear masks. I have had to dodge people at my local grocery store so I will just have to do it there. Another option is going to a different grocery store in my county. I believe I can get everything I need there AND masks are still required for shoppers. I may not have as good a selection of dairy-free frozen dessert but I am sure I can get pies. I love pie and I'm desperate to regain some of this weight. I've lost 18 pounds! I also had a "duh" moment where I bought turkey burgers last week but didn't buy buns. Silly me. And to add to my list of woes, my bed seems to have picked up bedbugs during the move. I am getting bitten up like you wouldn't believe. Some of the bites are in some very "uncomfortable" areas. I've removed the bedding and washed it in hot water, I've changed pajamas, I've sprayed the mattress bottom and boxspring with Lysol spray and nothing has helped. I guess I'll have to have the property managers bring in a professional. Pest control means people inside my apartment walking around tracking in who knows what, but it's either that or get eaten alive every night. Maybe the pest control chemicals would also kill any virus that might be brought in by the workers. I really hope I don't have to stay in a hotel overnight because I am NOT comfortable with that idea at all. I hate to think what the next problem will be. Seems like it's one thing after another.

This has been my favorite song for several years:

I decided I needed to order a few items of smaller-size clothing since everything I own is falling down. Two pair of leggings and two pair of joggers. I'm hoping I won't need to buy anymore. I was planning to go to Sprouts, but it's in the next county over and they have removed the mask requirements for retail establishments including grocery stores. My previous city also did not have a mask requirement, it is just "recommended". If the store is not implementing social distancing protocols I am not going to shop there. Too bad, I really wanted to go buy some of their pie and they carry a larger selection of dairy-free frozen dessert. I was counting on those things to help me gain weight, but I guess I'll try another grocery store. ETA: I just checked their website and their company policy is to have social distancing protocols. So I will go check it out and if it looks good I will shop.

I feel like the only person on the planet who's still concerned about Covid. My good friend who is an essential worker told me he's traveling for his upcoming vacation. Another friend is currently at a bowling alley. Yet another friend took her 80 year old grandmother to a restaurant today. I guess people are so tired of staying home that they just don't care about any possible risks anymore. I'm glad my kids are still playing it safe. They do takeout food and grocery shop but that's it. No dining at restaurants or bowling for Pete's sake.

But they saw it on TV! They read something about it on Google! Their best friend's brother in law's dad told him!

Too many people don't care. It's a hoax or it's just like the flu or it's better to get herd immunity or the weather is warmer so the virus will die. Or it won't happen to me, or I had a cold in January so I probably already had it. I've heard them all. One of my favorites was when a friend who's a cosmetologist posted a petition asking people to sign it so she could go back to work. She mentioned that blow drying wouldn't be allowed. And someone commented "but heat kills the virus! Blow drying should be allowed!" Um, yeah, I believe the temperature would have to be over 150 degrees. If her hair stylist set the blow dryer to 150 I doubt she would find it very comfortable!

I understand. I wanted badly to hug my kids but I love them enough to not want to potentially put them in danger. I've only been running errands (grocery store, laundromat, pharmacy) but still... And once I go back to work that will be twice as necessary as I will be around more than 150 people in close quarters. My company has had many, many cases in many locations so the possibility of exposure is high. And one of my kids went back to work this week and didn't want to take any chances since their office had an employee test positive last month. So, they're trying to keep me safe too. It seems a lifetime ago since we all sat in a restaurant together enjoying dinner. That was the second week of February. I chose not to see them when I came back two weeks later because I thought we'd have plenty of chances. Ah, well...

You OK? Hope so.

Thank you! I love my neighborhood. There are dozens and dozens of historical Craftsman and Spanish style homes. I like just looking at them and imagining what it would be like to live in such a beautiful home. My apartment is vintage and has some nice touches but it's not like owning one of those lovely homes. The neighborhood is also very walkable (which is why I chose it) but I can't see myself walking to any of the small restaurants and coffee shops and enjoying what they have just yet. There is a spike of cases in my state (not surprising due to the rush to reopen) and I am not quite ready to give them a try. Which is a shame because I have always supported the "shop small", Mom and Pop type businesses. Maybe I can get better soon and feel comfortable enough to walk down and grab a coffee or juice or order a yummy meal. I haven't called the psychologist yet. I know I need to but I have been feeling less anxious lately. I do fear that once I am ordered to report onsite to work next week it will spike again. So I will go ahead and call tomorrow just to be sure. Weight loss continued but seems to have leveled out. NONE of my clothes fit. I gave away all my "skinny" clothes because after 2 years of trying I could not lose the 8 pounds I wanted to lose so I figured the weight was permanent. So everything falls down or is super baggy. I'm not buying more skinny clothes, my goal is to gain 10 pounds. I need that dairy-free frozen dessert and some sugar-free pies!

I WENT FOR A SOLO WALK TODAY!!! I didn't go yesterday because I only got 2 hours of sleep and I had to go to the laundromat in the morning (SUPER crowded, the sign says only 10 people in the place at a time and there were 10 people!) so that was out. So I slept in a bit this morning and decided I wanted to go before it gets too hot. So I showered (no shampoo) and gathered up my nerve and out I went! It was warmer than I would have liked which made wearing a mask more uncomfortable but not wearing one was not an option because I do care about others! I walked a few blocks over and a few blocks down and then decided to walk to the bluff that overlooks the ocean. The ocean view from there is not my favorite because the area is more commercialized but it was still nice to see the water. Not too many people. Then I walked back to my car and drove to the grocery store. That particular location is always packed because it's a smaller store and they do not limit the number of people in the store. But I got what I needed including paper towels and another can of Lysol spray! I was disappointed they have not yet restocked their dairy-free frozen desserts but I might need a specialty store for that. Anyway...I go back on virtual training next week so any walks will have to be after class and that's kind of late in the day. But I'll set a goal of two walks and see how it goes!

Is there somewhere outside you can go? Your balcony, your backyard? Or even in your car parked in a nice location and use your phone as a mobile hot-spot? I did virtual manager training last month and one of the students set up his laptop on his patio. We all took turns being on camera during the class and I liked when he was on because I could see his backyard with all the palm trees.

When I'm working I sadly don't have much time for reading. So putting the books aside for that long would mean I would not get to read them before they are due back. I like to re-read, so when I do want to do some reading I just buy a book online. That way I can re-read over and over.

In my city the libraries are about to re-open. You have to reserve books online and pick them up curbside, there is no going into the library to read or study. I'm sure the reason is they don't have enough workers to go around disinfecting all of the areas throughout the day. I won't get library books because I don't know what the disinfecting protocols are. And I can't figure out how to disinfect books myself without potentially ruining them. I'm with you, I love libraries but it's something I don't think I'll be able to do for a long, long time. So it looks like next week and the week after I will be working onsite one day a week. I haven't been told yet which location I am assigned to but I presume I'll get that information in the next few days.

I re-watched Thelma and Louise. I watch it every time it's on.

I skipped the laundromat this morning. I woke up after inadequate sleep and just decided I would not go today. I will go tomorrow. Plus, it's so hot today! I don't want to be dealing with running around like a maniac at the laundromat lol. So I gave myself permission to go back to sleep and I slept in late! I didn't get up until 8:30. The coordinator arranged for me to get in touch with a clinical psychologist. I have to call his office myself to set an appointment and he is only doing virtual appointments, which is fine with me because I don't have to potentially get all anxious about going to his office. I will call his office after I've woken up a bit more. I have an appointment scheduled with an internist Monday. Since I moved states I will need a new doctor for my various medical conditions. Today will be household chores, getting the remainder of the groceries from yesterday out of my car and wiping them down, changing the cat's litter box, taking out the trash, etc.

No walk today. I had to go to both the pharmacy and the grocery store. Having to go inside two stores felt like enough to me. Plus, we are having unusually hot weather. It's just not pleasant unless you go down to the beach and I don't want to dodge the crowds. I scored both wipes AND a can of Lysol spray. It seems with things reopening and with other things being reported on the news people just aren't buying up the wipes and disinfecting spray the way they used to. I for one will continue to play it safe but others seem to be less concerned. While I was at the store a man in the next aisle over sneezed. A woman said "Oh, that's just GREAT!!" Poor guy, I'm sure he didn't intend to sneeze but that woman reacted the way I probably would have! I'm not feeling super great today. I don't feel well when it's windy and hot. And I didn't sleep well either. I took my temp and checked my blood oxygen (got this nifty device a few weeks ago) and my temp is good and blood oxygen is good as well. But it could be a reaction to the heat and lack of sleep. Throat is sore, I am fatigued and my head aches a bit. Same old symptoms I have had for months that the doctor couldn't really find a root cause for. I have a phone number I can call if the referral service doesn't get me a referral to a therapist in the next day or so. I can speak directly to a counselor and also get a referral. I need this, so I will call the number tomorrow if nothing happens with the coordinator. I'm getting a bit more relaxed regarding going out in public and touching things. I just realize that I will have to touch things and it's OK. I can wear gloves and wash my hands after and I can take off the clothes I wore out in public and shower after I get home and I will be OK. Things that used to send me into a freakout don't have as bad an effect as they used to. I hope that means I am getting a bit better. Hope everyone is doing well.

That's good news!

Yeah, they tell us to stay 6 feet apart but there's nowhere to go. Everywhere I tried to move to someone was already there. And they still hammer us about our production metrics and question us if we miss goals.

Hopefully that wasn't TOO time consuming!

I will. I'm going to take a page out of the AA handbook and say "Today I will try to get outside for a walk". If I am unable to I will cut myself some slack, but I really want to do this. And I won't worry about going for a walk tomorrow, just will try today. I'm expecting to get a message any minute now telling me to report to work immediately. Of course I will have no choice but to go. I would rather wait until my location is working on opening but I am certain I will be asked to help out at another location until mine is ready to go live. Mine is supposed to be preparing to open mid-July, so I am sure there is no way they will allow us to remain home until then. I was worrying about how to wash my work uniform since I no longer have my own wash machine, but my cousin gave me the excellent idea of just spraying it down with disinfectant each day after work. It's basically a vest made of reflective materials (in other words, plastic) so I should be able to do that no problem. And I'll spray down my shoes and gloves as well. Then shower, shampoo and head to bed. Speaking of bed, my cat seems to want to stay in bed all day. She is elderly (15 years old or so) so I guess she doesn't feel like doing much. She's funny. Thanks for the support :)

I'm still on salary (for which I am very grateful) but I am expecting to be called back into work any day. I'm expecting to be given very little or no advance notice, as in they will message me saying to report that night. I'm not happy about having to work in a building with about 150 other people in very close quarters but that is what my job requires. Being "essential" is not what I asked for, but I am grateful for a paycheck.

So, I'm back from the walk. It's a beautiful day outside. We walked down to the beach but there were way too many people along the bluff path, most of them without masks, so we went back into the neighborhood. There are a ton of lovely homes in the neighborhood, most of them historic, so it was very enjoyable. We talked about a lot of things but did a lot of discussing current events (of course). I explained that I was doing some things that are strange (I said "weird") and I knew they were strange but for now this is kind of where I'm at. They understood and humored me when they came to see my apartment which they hadn't seen before. It was very nice to be outside, although there were way too many unmasked people for my comfort. Fortunately the kids are reasonable (IMO) so when we where walking about 20 feet behind a man who stopped and was coughing uncovered several times, the kids suggested crossing over to the other side of the street. They didn't want to be near that guy either! I did really enjoy being outside. It was comforting to have the kids with me but I think I'm going to try some solo walks. The nice thing about being outside is it's easy to get away from people if I feel like I need to. A solo walk would be a major accomplishment for me but I want to give it a try.

Waiting for my son to text me about the walk. Anxiety is through the roof. Like, it's really bad. I can't figure out why, unless it's because we'll be out amongst people. God I hate this...

Grrr...the neighbors started expanding their party to right under my windows. Fortunately I am on the second floor. Poor lady on the first floor is literally 3 feet from the partygoers. I won't call the police because they have their hands full with the protests, but it's extremely irritating to have people so blatantly ignoring and disregarding the regulations. There have been many instances of Covid infecting groups of people who attended parties, but apparently these people are sure Covid can't affect them!