Aussieguy

Hi Alabama, Thanks for your reply. The thing is i am pretty sure i don't have any romantic feelings for her, i just feel sometimes like i'm not her best friend which is really stupid cause i know i am and i know she loves me, its just really confusing!!!!

I have been best friends with this girl for over 2yrs now, we knew each other before we were best friends, but after my gf of 3yrs broke up with me i found it easy to talk to her and naturally we became very close and best friends. Just as we became best friends she starting seeing this guy (they only just broke up 3 months ago) who i and all of her friends didn't like, he was controlling and everything else that goes with it. She cheated on him numerous times with 4 different guys over the 18 months or so they were together which i hated but sort of understand why she did. Whenever we went out together it was always without him because she knew i didnt like him and vice versa when she went out somewhere with him, thereforeeee i had very minimal contact with him and hence never really saw them together eg kissing, hugging etc. Anyway throughout the first year of being best friends whenever she got drunk she would come onto me and i would always have to reject her as i didnt feel the same way about her plus she had the bf and i have morals, but after about a year i went through a phase where i thought i had feelings for her and at one stage i couldn't stand her being with this guy and told her i had feelings for her and i didnt think i could be friends with her anymore, which left her very upset. A couple of days later we met up and talked about alot of things and i realised i didnt really have feelings for her and we stayed best friends and still are to this day. Ok now 3 months ago she broke up with the guy and about 3 weeks later starting seeing someone else who i think is a great guy and we get along great, but because of this i always see him and her together and we have less time to spend alone together compared to before. Anyway i think i am becoming jealous of him even though i am not a jealous person by nature and i am pretty sure i dont have feelings for her. Also i sometimes think that i shouldn't have rejected her advances in the past and in the last couple of weeks i sometimes fantasise about us having sex, because every guy she has been really close with in her life she has had sex with except me although i never really saw her that way and never wanted to in the past. I think it is because our relationship has everything a normal bf/gf relationship has except for the intimacy. Sorry for the long post but any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Hi guys, Me and my ex gf of 2 and a half years have been broken up for just over 6 months now, at the start we would still see each other every few days, even though she already had a bf i could tell she missed me, and after 3 weeks she broke up with him and came back to me, she left me again 3 weeks later and got with another guy for about 4 months in which time we had NC for 5 weeks and now she is with his best friend. After about 5 weeks of NC i sent her a message to see if she wanted to be friends and she said she didn't care, it was up 2 me if i wanted to be friends with her (not exactly the answer i was after), so i told her to ring me when she had time if she wanted to be friends. She rang 2 days later and still said the same thing. Anyway we only saw each other once a week if that, usually at a mutual friends house, and i would always tell her to come over my house sometime and she would always say ok but she would never come over, it seemed she was very apprehensive towards me, but in the last 3 weeks it seems like she has changed. You see during the last 6 months since she broke up with me i have always been there 4 her still and everytime she needed a favour i would do it (pretty much when she said jump i said how high), but 3 weeks ago she asked me for a favour and i said sorry i can't i am feeling a bit sick and she actually said ok thanks anyway hope you feel better soon. About a week later she rang and asked if i could take her to the doctors, but she seemed very nervous about asking me, but when i found out why she needed to go to the doctors i said yeah straight away. On the way to the doctors i got a different vibe from her and it wasn't awkward like it usually was when we saw each other, on the way home i told her she needn't be scared about asking me for a favour when it came to something like that because it is easy to fall outta love with someone but you cant stop caring for someone, she mentioned how her new bf were gonna get married next year which hurt me alot. From that day on i have started to miss her alot and even contemplated trying to win her back, so last week i asked her when her next free day was and she said Monday and i asked if she would like to do something with me that day and she said yeah like what??? so we decided to go to the club and shoot some pool, i asked her if she thought it was weird and she said no, but her bf thought it was, but that didn't worry her, which i thought seemed a bit weird. Anyway i said i would contact her on Sunday and work out everything for Monday, but i saw her on Thursday and went to her house for a while and while we were talking i started to realise that maybe she is in love with her new bf and i had no chance of getting her back which hurt but then i started to realise that she might be trying to make me jealous cause she wants me back plus we have been seeing each other more and more, there is no awkwardness between us anymore and she still wants to be friends bad enough that she doesn't care what her bf says about us seeing each other and i am the only ex bf of hers she is still in contact with as she hates the other 2 ex bfs she had after me. How should i act on Monday because i dont wanna try anything in case i am wrong about her wanting me back, cause it would ruin our friendship which i value alot, but maybe she is thinking the exact same thing towards me. Help me i dont know what to do.

Hi guys, thanks for the replies!!!! Well she didn't call me last night, but my best friend (female) decided to text message my ex (they have only seen each other a few times, but my friend knows what my ex is going through because she went through the same thing and they are very alike) and wrote "hi it's me Amanda, just wanted to ask you if you would like to come and have a few drinks with me next Wednesday cause it's my b'day and to see how you are going". She replied "hi i am ok, been busy working a fair bit, but i will find time to go". So Amanda wrote back "thats good, it will be at the club, i am bringing my new b\f so you can meet him as well" My ex replied "Is Rick (me) going" So i got Amanda to reply "he doesn't know about it yet, i won't tell him if you don't want him there" She wrote back "Nah thats ok, it doesn't worry me" Firstly it was not my idea to message her, my friend talked me into letting her do it. Secondly why would she ask if i was going if she didn't care??? My friend said not to contact her until next Wednesday unless of course she contacts me. What do other people think???

Well i am an idiot!!!! I text messaged her today (1 month since last contact) and asked her if she is glad that i am getting out of her life. She replied "I don't know, probably, doesn't worry me". So i wrote back "So you don't wanna be friends anymore i take it?". She replied "I told you, i don't care". I replied "Well i can say that i don't love you anymore, but must admit that i still miss not knowing you cause even though i don't love you anymore you still mean alot to me and i feel i can be friends now, but if you don't wanna be friends i guess i understand". She replied "I dont know, talk later". I finished the convo with "Ok call me whenever you can". This happened about 30 minutes ago, whether she does call me or not i have no idea, but does anyone have any idea what these messages actually mean, does she miss me and is covering? or does she not actually care anymore? Please help!!!!!

I understand where you are coming from Boone, i was severly depressed when i met her and started going out, and because of her i slowly but surely started to get better thanks to her love and dedication. However we broke up about 4 months ago after 2 and a half years together and as soon as it happened i thought to myself "oh no i am gonna get depressed again" but then i realised why waste 2 of the best years in my life just to end up where i was before those 2 years. I have been on anti-depressants for 3 years now and am coming off them shortly even after what i am currently going through and not seeing my "angel" for 4 weeks now without any contact which i thought i could never do. You have to believe you can get through it to start the healing and rebuild your life. All the best.

hi Kate111, Thanks for your reply, but the reason i ask is because she has a b/f and they have been together for about 8 weeks now and she believes she is in love with him, so why would she get in contact with her ex when she has that. Also i don't want to get back together with her, i just want her to miss me and want to be friends again, she means so much to me!!!

I wish i shared your optimism Kate111, but i don't think she will ever get in contact with me, she is very stubborn!!!! I would like to ask you though why you think she will definitely get in touch with me within a month??? I would be very interested to read your answer!!! Its now been 10 days since we have been in contact, which is the longest amount of time we have not seen each other for 3 years 2 days ago however she got a letter in my letterbox which looked important so i took our mutual friend over to her house to give it to her, i parked down a side street so i couldn't see her when she opened the door, which seemed so stupid, but i had to do it. Anyway our mutual friend came back and the only thing she mentioned about me was to tell me thanks for giving her the letter, no how is he going or anything, so i don't think she even cares about me anymore.

Hi rotty, I actually got the puppy for her birthday last year so it wouldn't feel right to take her away from her when she was her birthday gift. Thanks for the reply, i will try and take your advice.

Hi all, Me and my ex G/F have been separated for 3 months now, we were together for 2 and half years and were each others first love, until she broke up with me. She has now been seeing her new B/F for 6 weeks, but we had still been seeing each other as friends since we broke up. 2 nights ago we went out together to a mutual friends house and she told her B/F what she was doing and when she got off the phone she just said why are guys so demented sometimes, and told me that her B/F wanted to talk to her the next day. At this point i realised that he didn't like her hanging out with me, so at the end of the night i asked her if the reason her B/F was pissed was because she was with me, and she replied no, and i insisted it was and that we shouldn't see each other anymore because i didn't want to ruin her relationship with him, she seemed a little bit shocked and didn't know what to say. I then asked her what she thought i felt about her, and she replied that she knew that i just wanted to be friends but i was to touchy/feely because i always gave her a hug when i said goodbye (I told her i didn't love her anymore just after she got with her new B/F even though i still did) i then told her that i still loved her and because i still loved her as much as i did i wanted to see her happy and if that meant it was with her B/F then i would get out of her life so her relationship with him would not be ruined, and she agreed!!!! I asked her if it was because i still love her and she said it was partly due to that, after that i apologized about still being in love with her and she said thats ok and we both had a little laugh!!!! But the weird thing was that she asked me if i thought she loved him??? i said it wasn't my place to answer that, but she insisted that i did, so i told her i didn't think she did, and she said it didn't matter because in her heart she knows she does (so why ask me!!!!). Anyway i said to her at least i didn't have to listen to what she does with her B/F and such, because it really hurt everytime he was mentioned even though i didn't want to show it, because i didn't want to show that i still had feelings for her, and she asked if i could still be friends with her because of that and i replied well i have so far, and that was the end of that conversation. Anyway we agreed not to see each other anymore except when it came to our little puppy which we have joint custody off. The next night i messaged her to see if she left her backdoor unlocked because i knew she would be out so i could drop of our puppy and she rang me and asked if i could keep her another night because her B/F was sleeping over. After we hung up i messaged her saying not to ring me anymore because i didn't want to hear her voice anymore which she never replied to. All day i was thinking if i should not see our puppy anymore so i wouldn't have a reason to be in her life anymore, and decided it was the nest thing to do, so i took her to my Exes mothers house and asked if she could look after her tonight and drop her off tomorrow, and told her the situation, after that i sent a message to her saying that i had dropped her off at her mothers house and i thought it best if i didn't see our puppy anymore cause it would give me a reason to still be in her life, and said if that was alright with her and was i doing the right thing and that she would always have a special place in my heart. Her reply "Nah thats cool, you made the right decision for the both of us" Is this just me or does that come off a little heartless??? Anyway the real question i am getting to is will NC work and will she get back in contact with me after a few weeks or more, cause i still love her more then anything in this world. Cheers.

Thanks guys, I agree with both of you, my first reaction was that she still had feelings for me but i don't understand how when she supposedly "loves" him and constantly tells me she doesn't have feelings for me. Also i keep wondering why she asked me to help her go shopping if she felt like she is cheating on him????

Hi all, Here is my original post about my ex g/f: link removed The reason for this post however is to discuss what happened today with my ex and why. This morning i get a call from her asking me if i could meet her at the shops because she didn't want to do the shopping alone and she wanted me there to help her. At first i thought she just wanted me there so i could give her a lift home with the shopping, but then i remembered that her mum has been giving her lifts everywhere and i knew that she was home. So anyway i went down, we did the shopping, i took her home and helped pack it away for her, then chatted for a half hour in which she mentioned that she felt weird when we were together alone and then went back home. Later that day i got a call from one of our mutual friends (Jenny) saying she was bored and didn't know what to do, so i said what about going to kahli's house (my ex). So we went around for a while and while we were talking i told jenny to tell kahli that it is ok to be friends with exes and not to feel weird about it, cause she knows 100% that i would never ever jeopardise her relationship with her new B/F and that i don't love her anymore and just wish to be friends, her reply was that everytime she is with me she feels as if she is cheating on her b/f and feels as if she is seeing me behind his back even though he knows about it. My question is why does she feel like that??? She has told her bf that he has nothing to worry about, which he actually doesn't, i would never do anything to cause friction between them. Anyone have any answers to why???

He still LOVES you!!!!! I am in a similar position as him, my ex has got a new BF and have been going out for almost a month, but we still see each other occasionally alone and with friends, and i do exactly what your ex does in regards to jokingly insulting her while friends are around, and sort of flirt with her when we are alone, although i would never go any further, because i don't mind the guy she is currently seeing, but the bottom line is i still Love her more then ever, probably just like your ex.

Hi everyone, Just an update on what has been happening lately. Well my Ex GF is still seeing the guy from the last post and she still seems to be fully into him even though its been 3 weeks since they have been going out which is how long it lasted with the other guy after me, so i am getting the feeling she really does like him. A week or so ago i told her i don't love her anymore (not actually sure if i do or not) and that i just wanna be friends just like she does. Anyway i have only been seeing her about once or twice a week now, and today i drove one of our friends over to her house and stayed a while. Later the conversation was about her 18th party which is in a month, and our friend was writing down the people she wanted to invite, and when our friend mentioned my name my ex straight away said no as did i, but it still hurt thinking that she doesn't want me at her 18th. Anyway later they were talking alone, and our friend later told me that she does want me to go, but i still don't want to because i don't want to see her together with her new BF in case it upsets me and puts me back at square one again. During my time there i was teasing her and making fun of her, which i think surprised her a bit and after a while she would give me these nasty looks whenever i would tease her and hit me if i was close enough to her. About a week before we broke up we found out that she has a small or no chance of falling pregnant, but i would always say it will happen and she would say there is no chance, but today she mentioned how she knows that there is still a chance she can get pregnant and her new BF is 19 and thereforeeee highly fertile and they have unprotected sex, and she hopes she falls pregnant with him. All i could say was that she was an idiot and she can screw her own life up if she wants. Was that the right thing to say??? (this was before i started teasing her by the way). She also said that she knows that she and her new BF will last forever, and i replied thats what you said about us, and she says yeah i know but i always had doubts that we would, which hurt even though i didn't show it. Is she still playing games or not????

Thanks everyone, very good advice, but very hard to accept. I actually told her last week i didn't wanna see her anymore, and guess how long that lasted???? 3 days and i was back, and the only reason i lasted that long was because i was thinking that she would be missing me just as much, but when i saw her she bluntly said she wasn't and then told me about how she likes the other guy she lives with. The thing is though she has always told me and still does that no one has loved her more then i have, parents included and i don't want her to lose me because she trusts me and values my opinions more then anyone else, and if i walked away from her i would be doing exactly what her parents did to her. I know i can get over her, but the problem is this feeling i have that we are meant to be together, it just won't go away, and i am scared that when i fall out of love with her i might realise that she is a total bitch and i don't wanna think that about her, especially her being my first love. I am a very emotional person and get hurt easily, but my problem is i am too caring which i sometimes wish i wasn't, and i like making people happy even if it hurts me in doing so, i wanna find someone else, but i am scared i will compare her with my ex which isn't fair to her and then just use her to get over my ex, and that is just not me. I am a decent looking guy and have been told by some female friends that i could get a girl just like that, but i am not ready to find someone else, but at the same time i want someone else. It is all very confusing!!!!! Thanks again for all the advice guys.