Break up depression

My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago after a nearly 4yr committed relationship. It was q great and happy relationship. She was my everything and I loved her more than anything. She said she still loves me as a person and thinks I'm a great guy and wants to be friends, but just thinks we grew apart as a couple because of college. I would do anything to have her back and I can't get over her. Help!

After a four-year relationship, you are definitely going to need some time to heal after a breakup! Four years is a long time: over 1200 days of being devoted to one person will absolutely affect you.

You need to allow yourself to mourn the relationship loss. Perhaps you should not be in contact with her for a while so that you can focus on you. Are you in college? If so, focus on your studies.

Stay busy. Don't give your mind too much time to spiral into thoughts about your ex. It hurts. And it will hurt for a little while. But you can and will get through it. Chin up; one foot in front of the other.

My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago after a nearly 4yr committed relationship. It was q great and happy relationship. She was my everything and I loved her more than anything. She said she still loves me as a person and thinks I'm a great guy and wants to be friends, but just thinks we grew apart as a couple because of college. I would do anything to have her back and I can't get over her. Help!

She was YOUR everything, but clearly you weren't hers.

It isn't about going to college. People in love can overcome an obstacle like that. She just wanted more for her life. You'll heal eventually.

Did you attend different collages? Was this a LDR? Is it possible she met someone? Perhaps you did grow apart. It happens. Embrace this freedom and consider it a change to grow and evolve.

She said she still loves me as a person and thinks I'm a great guy and wants to be friends, but just thinks we grew apart as a couple because of college.

We went to different colleges about 2hrs apart but I went to see her every weekend and we enjoyed it. And we had time throughout the week to study and be ourselves and she even said that our relationship in college was much healthier than before.

To be honest, I'm just a guy that's bored. I gave up alot of things around me bc most of my time was devoted to her and our relationship. My life while we were dating was basically school, work, her, and activity that we did together. I have alot of hobbies I enjoy and she did too for the most part. It just stinks because literrally everything I do reminds me of her.

It's a good idea to try and enjoy those hobbies you once had and don't be afraid to pursue them even when you find someone worthwhile spending time with. There's a give and take and you'll cross each bridge when you get to it together. In the meantime, give yourself time to heal and let this relationship go. It's over. Be realistic that it's over and respect each other to let each other go.

She still wants to be good friends and hang out together. I believe that doing this will eventually draw her back to me.

She still wants to be good friends and hang out together. I believe that doing this will eventually draw her back to me.

No--no it won't. Please don't think that this would be a good tactic. If she was drawn to you, she would still be with you. Take some time apart.

Read up on the friendzone. If you can and want to be friends, great, but how will you feel when she talks to you like a male-girlfriend about guys she's seeing/a new bf?

She still wants to be good friends and hang out together. I believe that doing this will eventually draw her back to me.

Good point. I'm just confused by the whole break up bc she said she loves me as a person and thinks I'm a great guy, but she doesn't want to be with me. And it's ironic bc she still wants me to do things with her like take her to work, or hang out with her and her brothers, or just hang out in general. I just don't quite understand why she wants me in her life like from a relationship standpoint without the "romance" part of it if that makes since.

You might not interest her intellectually or physically on some other level that she's not being completely honest about. If someone doesn't want to be with you romantically, it's best to take a hint and walk away. I don't suggest you hang out with her brothers or take her to work.

It had nothing to do with my smarts or looks I'm a nursing student lol. I got the final scoop tonight on why she broke up with me and she said it was because I was controlling which is bull bc I let her do everything she wanted even if I was against it. But, shes already interested in another guy so at this point, like you said, I just need to ghost her and be done with it.

At least she finally revealed the truth. However it is a great learning experience. "Great guy and wants to be friends" = met someone else. She met someone local and you should do the same, do not tie yourself down to a LDR.

You "let her"? Yeah, that IS controlling. Why does she have to check with you before she does something? You're not her dad or her parole officer.

Yeah, don't bother trying to hang out with her or her family. Unless you want to watch her be lovey dovey with some other guy and go on and on about how HE isn't controlling.

I didn't mean "let her" as in she had to ask me. She would tell me what she was going to do and I said okay that's fine. For example, she would say "hey babe I'm going to a college party tonight," and I would reply "okay keep me updated and be safe."