Wanting girlfriend of 4 years back

Alright so ill try to make this kinda short. My ex girlfriend and I met in high school when we were 15 and 16, i know very young. Dated all through high school, never broke up untill about a year ago, because me and my buddy were talking about girls very inappropriate (i know, very immature). Well i ended up getting her back about 2 months later after i showed her i really regretted it. I had just started making 24 an hour at my new job which is reslly good for a 19 year old kid, and i knew i really loved her and starting planning a future. We looked at houses, ended up getting the one we wanted, and then she then got depressed for reasons that i dont even think she can explain. I told her to go see someone, she did, and then broke up me literally the same day saying they had told her what she pretty much already knew. I was always jealous, and kinda controlling at times, but i was always the one that was there, very handy with cars so i always fixed whatever was broken, her whole family loves me and still talks to me alot, she came and got her stuff from my house after 2 weeks, but took forever to bring all of my stuff. She would bring some here and some there but not all at one time kinda like she was finding excuses to see me. We have hung out at my house a few times, even had sex once, she was babysitting my puppy, but i told her that if we were not going to work out that we just needed to not have contact because i didnt want to watch her move on. I begged the first week, which was like middle of january, but then i got it together and stopped there. When we hung out she would be distant, but not to bad. After i told her we no longer needed to communicate, she texted a week later asking me to fix something on her car that i had offered multiple times already, so i did. I had hurt my back at work, so she came inside and rubbed it for me for a little while before i fixed her car. But as soon as the car got fixed, she changed her clothes and left my house, kinda like she was trying to get me to ask why or something. that was about 3 weeks ago. I texted last friday to just say hey and hope all is well, she always replys to my texts. Well saturday she asked if i was home, i waited a hour or two to reply, then said no, and she said "i was going to bring your dehydrator and see Ryleigh for a minute while i had time" Ryleigh is one of my dogs. I wasnt going to be home, she said to text her when i got home the next day, so i did, she said she couldnt that day so i just replied with "let me know when you can". So my question is, do i just start ignoring her or do i keep letting her come around when she wants? I do really want her back even tho people say i shouldnt, and sorry i know this was not short at all but tried to give as much info as possible. Any help is appreciated!

... and sorry i know this was not short at all but tried to give as much info as possible. Any help is appreciated!

What was her reason for breaking up? Why doesn't she think that things will work out between you two?

Because we would argue alot, mostly because of my jealousy which i have been working on, and was working on before we broke up. Just didnt get it taken care of if a timly manner for her. She has said that she does see i have changed since we broke up tho.

Because we would argue alot, mostly because of my jealousy which i have been working on, and was working on before we broke up. Just didnt get it taken care of if a timly manner for her. She has said that she does see i have changed since we broke up tho.

When someone says that I can't tell if it's that you were jealous or if she was crossing the line. Was she making out with someone else and then you saw her and she told you to stop being jealous? Does she have a best friend that's a guy and you know he's interested in her and she says she's not but goes out with him on what essentially is a date? Or does she try to make a return at a store and you jump in and say how upset you were over how she looked at the sales clerk and that you think she's going to leave you for him?

Honestly she didnt give me a reason to be jealous, she really is a good girl thats why it sucks. I have my own reasons that I have trust issues, and say a guy would make a point to speak everyday, or if she was out wih friends and a guy happend to tag along, i would get very upset and over react. It was really childish behavior on my part. It sucks it took her finally leaving for me to realize it. Thats why im trying to get her back, even tho i dont really deserve it at times. I would go through her phone and all that, very un healthy behaviour but i have since went to therapy, and gotten that under control for the most part.

How did you develop "trust issues" when you've been with her since you were 16?

How did you develop "trust issues" when you've been with her since you were 16?

I have always had trust issues, my parents split when i was one, and every since i can remember my dad has drilled into my head that you dont get to close, and to expect the worst. Doesnt make it ok, but its always been hard to trust anyone, also trusted my mom with everything, and long story short she crushed me also. Like i said im not making excuses tho, but since I've finally figured myself out and have figured out how to deal with problems, i just want to make it work.

I have always had trust issues, my parents split when i was one, and every since i can remember my dad has drilled into my head that you dont get to close, and to expect the worst. Doesnt make it ok, but its always been hard to trust anyone, also trusted my mom with everything, and long story short she crushed me also. Like i said im not making excuses tho, but since I've finally figured myself out and have figured out how to deal with problems, i just want to make it work.

I can understand that.

My ex husband's father taught him that women spend money and if you don't control them they will spend you into the poor house. Now, my FIL was very kind to me and our kids, but his teachings stayed with my husband. It's a big reason why we are divorced.

You may not get another chance with this girl. But you now have good knowledge to take into your future.

I can understand that.

 

My ex husband's father taught him that women spend money and if you don't control them they will spend you into the poor house. Now, my FIL was very kind to me and our kids, but his teachings stayed with my husband. It's a big reason why we are divorced.

 

You may not get another chance with this girl. But you now have good knowledge to take into your future.

Yea its kinda hard when you have had to grow up with it, but you are right. I know that shes not the only one out there, but we do have good chemistry and always had a great time together unless we argued. Im just focusing on me and doing what i love, about to start another truck build, something i out off because i wanted to have extra money for dates and such. My question is tho, shes supposed to contact me when she can come to the house to bring my stuff and she wants to see the dog, should i just be casual about it and not try to be so sweet and then just let her contact me from now on? Have any idea what my best route to take is for the best chamce of getting her back? Feel like im damned if i try and damned if i dont. Everyone says "she broke up with you, you shouldnt want her back" which is true if she just keft for no reason, but this is truly mostly on me and she is a good girl.

The good news is that she broke up because of something that is in your control to fix. So I guess just fix it and try again eh?

You can't "get" someone back. She has to be the one to decide. Any plans or tactics will be painfully transparent.

Let he take the lead if she wants to. Be polite and courteous.

This is going to be harsh, but man the hell up. You reek of desperation and no woman is attracted to that. You want her back? Start being less available for her.

This is going to be harsh, but man the hell up. You reek of desperation and no woman is attracted to that. You want her back? Start being less available for her.

I some what agree. I was really available and such, no sulking or acting desperate tho. She contacted me about the dog i had gotten for her, but honestly me talking to her just makes things worse, i ended up politely telling her i cant keep this up and that if we were done we didnt need to communicate for the both of us (even tho it seems that shes fine). So just leave it be and leave the cards in her hand and if she gives a rip she will make a move?

The good news is that she broke up because of something that is in your control to fix. So I guess just fix it and try again eh?

Well thats really up to her decide so guess we will see if she contacts again. Just have to find a way to move forward.

You need to start adopting the mindset that SHE would be lucky to have YOU.

When she contacts you, wait a while to respond if you even respond at all. When my exes broke up with me, I’d only answer if they were asking a question. When I did answer. I took my sweet time and gave short responses.

Example:

Her: Hi! How are you?

Me: Living the dream :)

And when she inquires about what that is? Leave her hanging. She would normally say something like “oh really, that sounds fun.” And I never responded.

What did that do? Made her wonder. I was mysterious and back to being attractive. A few days later, I got the “Hope you are having a good day”, text. Again, I waited a long time and said “Thanks! You too!”

Make your supply low and her demand will be high. This works EVERY time. It’s like clock work. Men or women, we all want what doesn’t want us.

You need to start adopting the mindset that SHE would be lucky to have YOU.

 

When she contacts you, wait a while to respond if you even respond at all. When my exes broke up with me, I’d only answer if they were asking a question. When I did answer. I took my sweet time and gave short responses.

 

Example:

 

Her: Hi! How are you?

Me: Living the dream :)

 

And when she inquires about what that is? Leave her hanging. She would normally say something like “oh really, that sounds fun.” And I never responded.

 

What did that do? Made her wonder. I was mysterious and back to being attractive. A few days later, I got the “Hope you are having a good day”, text. Again, I waited a long time and said “Thanks! You too!”

 

Make your supply low and her demand will be high. This works EVERY time. It’s like clock work. Men or women, we all want what doesn’t want us.

Thanks, i needed that. Doubt she will text again, but if she does ill do just that. Either ill move on completely or we might work it out but i win either way. Going to start building another truck and stay busy, thanks for the advice!

If things aren't going where you would like them to, you have to back off and move forward.