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Everything posted by TheOutlaw

  1. Sounds like you are making a sport out of losing her and trying to get her back. Sad. You’re trying to build her into your dream woman at her emotional and mental expense. Let her go.
  2. I’ll be blunt. Are you sure you love this woman? You are flipping more than a pancake. One minute you want time and space, the next you love her and want to work on things. What is it? Stop the games and be direct. If you want her, tell her to come home and quit allowing outside drama to affect your marriage. Women want a rock, not a pebble.
  3. You do need to forget about reconciliation. You also need to remove “value” from the equation. Just because someone decides to leave you, that in no way “devalues” the person you are. Every woman who has ever ended a relationship with me has come back. Some days, some weeks, some months, some years. What makes me unique? My attitude— I embraced their decision and moved on with my life. If she decided to move on and turn cold, good for her. Dont let her or anyone ever occupy your mind rent free, the space is too valuable. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and walk away with gratitude. True strength isn’t being able to lift a bus with one hand, it’s being able to face and appreciate adversity as an opportunity to keep challenging and bettering yourself. You are young, here is some advice for the future. Don’t ever invest all of your happiness into people, they are meant to leave you, whether by choice or by death. Embrace the time you had and move on when they do.
  4. Thank you for your kind words, Katrina. My advice would be to not waste a penny nor second on anything from these charlatans. In my mind, anyone who tries to sell certainty to one of life’s greatest mysteries (love) is too short-minded to entertain. I am incredibly empathetic to the stories here, and I can only say that the best certainty in any situation is self-certainty. Be your own rock and no matter what the tide of the day brings, you can weather it. It’s easy to fall into the “gamblers fallacy” when in a relationship. When you’re up, you never think you will be down, and when you are down, you never think you will be back up. But you will. Live a life you are proud of. That pride and happiness will emanate attraction from the opposite sex naturally. If you aren’t living a life you are proud of, gather the strength and self-certainty to start all over again.
  5. Not a single one. I’ve found the key to attraction is to simply focus on your own happiness. Like they say, happiness is magnetic, it attracts even when you may not want it too. Energy, focus, and time are only awarded to the worthy. The worthy are only those who embrace all of the above. 👌
  6. These “experts” use a person’s fear and uncertainty as a weapon against them. People who embrace fear and failure are the ones who are successful in achieving their goals. Ex’s come back when they recognize your spirit cannot be broken; and that no matter what slight may befall you, you embrace the outcome, win or lose. If someone chooses to leave you, allow them. If you were ever of value to them, they will look for you in every person they meet and eventually return. Until that day, move forward without reservation. The present and future demand an incredible amount of energy and focus, don’t waste a second of it dwelling on the past.
  7. Have you ever heard the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder”? If you have, then consider how your actions are pushing her away rather than pulling her closer. Make yourself scarce; it will do two things: 1) Prove to her you are a man, and don’t NEED someone in your life, you WANT someone; and 2) It will show her that you respect her space and that you want her to come around when she feels comfortable and more importantly, ready. If it’s meant to be, she’ll be back. If not, then someone else is waiting for you to make a move, Romeo.
  8. Very true. I have never gotten back with an ex after they dumped me and came back.
  9. 2 months is too soon askdan. In my experience, it has been months to years before a woman returns. For people who have dumped me and returned, it has been very similar stories, the most popular being how horrible their next relationships were and they missed how I treated them. Time is your ally. Focus on yourself, your happiness, and your goals and she will take notice in time.
  10. My man, if someone is not giving you want you want, walk away. Ever notice why women always love the bad boy? It’s because he is confident enough in himself to walk away and never look back. You need to display the bad boy confidence while having a cool, calm, mature demeanor. If any woman isn’t willing to offer you what you want (in this case a relationship), have the confidence to say “ok, let me know if you change your mind”; and walk away. No contact, no nothing. Walk away. Women are attracted to men who know they have options and are confident in their conviction to move on if they are not satisfied with what they are receiving.
  11. I’m glad you found it helpful. Remember that women are attracted to confidence and decisiveness. When someone chooses to not have you in their life anymore, the best way to have an opportunity to win them back is to allow them to wallow in their decision. A man who can decisively walk away and have the confidence to not look back is extremely difficult to find. In time, everyone has realized that in my past. Best of luck on your journey, askdan.
  12. OP. If you want to keep this woman in a romantic way and not just as a friend, you need to assert some dominance. As I said, women do not want men who lack self-confidence or self-respect. You need to be more mysterious! Her attraction for you will grow when she sees and feels you slipping away. If you run back like a lost puppy to her each time she calls, she will lose attraction. She wants your attention, or else she would not message you. Use that to your advtange. She broke up with you correct? Make her feel that loss. Make her feel like her decision was the wrong one by showing her a more attractive and confident person. The key here is non-chalance, act like she is any other person you are not into romantically and it might be enough to re-spark the flame within her. If an ex of mine sent me messages about anything trivial. My response would be one of two things: 1) nothing; or 2) Hey - Busy right now - (feel better, or have fun, etc., ((whatever is appropriate in context)). Remember that in conversation - less is more. GL
  13. For f sake man, pull yourself together and demonstrate some self-respect. She is talking to you about her menstrual cycles? Jesus. I don’t even know where to begin this is so sad. Apparently you need it written in clear English. NO WOMAN WANTS A MAN WHO IS AN EMOTIONAL TAMPON (see what I did there?). Women want men who are self-confident and who are willing to walk away and never look back, you aren’t doing that and will only succeed in driving her further and further away.
  14. You need to start adopting the mindset that SHE would be lucky to have YOU. When she contacts you, wait a while to respond if you even respond at all. When my exes broke up with me, I’d only answer if they were asking a question. When I did answer. I took my sweet time and gave short responses. Example: Her: Hi! How are you? Me: Living the dream :) And when she inquires about what that is? Leave her hanging. She would normally say something like “oh really, that sounds fun.” And I never responded. What did that do? Made her wonder. I was mysterious and back to being attractive. A few days later, I got the “Hope you are having a good day”, text. Again, I waited a long time and said “Thanks! You too!” Make your supply low and her demand will be high. This works EVERY time. It’s like clock work. Men or women, we all want what doesn’t want us.
  15. When I was 16, my high school girlfriend broke up with me and I was devastated. After dinner that evening, my old man brought me into the garage and we sat down at his work bench. Sipping on his beer he told me to keep my head up, that there would be plenty of other girls. I choked back my tears and nodded my head in agreement. He then grabbed a dusty tape and slapped it into an old RCA boom box and said “Johnny has the perfect words for these moments.” He proceeded to play Johnny Cash - it’s all over. Great life lesson learned that night listening to Johnny with my old man.
  16. You are being needy and she is on the scent like a shark to blood. You are making the classic mistakes. 1) You are way too accessible. 2) You are acting dependent by asking her to hangout and for her “help”. 3) You are talking to her way too much. She has given you the answer you are looking for. She feels pressured. When it comes to women, pressure is the enemy. She broke up with you, correct? Make her feel that absence.
  17. This is a very honest take, SweetGirl. I’m sure he feels that same loss. From what I have experienced with dumpers, it takes a good 6-12 months before they truly “feel” what they have lost. The constants in successful relationships is the willingness to keep going; keep trying, keep forgiving; and keep loving. Like they say, the grass is only greener where it is watered. Many relationships fail because someone has given up, and believes it will be “easier” to find someone else. Unfortunately, finding compatibility on various levels is extremely difficult.
  18. If SweetGirl says there is truth to it, you know it’s legit. lol.
  19. My friend recently broke up with his long-term girlfriend, and I will say the same thing I told him; pressure is the enemy. Women see through men like an x-ray post break up, everything you do or say gets examined and examined some more. If you are initiating contact after she contacts you or asking her to come over or catch up for coffee, she is going to see right through to what your intentions are. That is why it is best for her to propose the idea to meet up and for her to initiate contact. By doing this, you are alleviating that pressure and making her feel more independent and comfortable. When my last ex girlfriend contacted me (about 8 months after our break up) she started the conversation “Hey stranger, Facebook showed me a old picture of us and I figured I would check-in to see how you were! Let’s grab a coffee this week and catch up?” My response? Hey! I’m all booked up this week but maybe we can soon! Be well.” Sure enough, a few days later she asked again to meet up. I again said I was busy, but that I would like to meet up when I am free. Then came “Hey mr. big shot, hopefully you aren’t too busy for me this week ;), been thinking about you.” What did this experiment tell me? Simple supply and demand. The less I made myself available (zero pressure), the more she wanted to see me. Also, the more aloof I acted, the more flirtatious she became.
  20. Years ago, I was cheated on as well. My girlfriend left me for a coworker. After the honeymoon period, she came crawling back when she realized he was nothing special. We never got back together, but I certainly had the opportunity if I wanted too. I too would never take back a cheater. Sitting, sipping on a glass of bourbon while she was texting me how much she missed me and wanted to sleep with me sure was sweet.
  21. You can’t control if an ex comes back or not, the only thing you can do is put yourself in the best possible position to attract them again. In my experience, that position has been to not contact your ex at all until they contact you; and when they do finally make contact, displaying indifference. Time is the great equalizer; when my exes came back, it was never immediate, some broke the ice after months and others, years. The only variable that was a constant in my equation was the way I acted; I shifted my focus to my happiness and my goals post breakup. It’s very important to adopt the mindset that you haven’t “lost” anything post breakup; because in the end, they have lost someone who loves them, but you have lost someone who doesn’t love you. In that situation, who is more probable to look back with regret?
  22. I think the key is to flip the switch on their expectations of you after a break up. They want you to be defeated and “hung up”, but if you show them you are strong willed enough to accept the break up and move on, I believe they will be more willing to give you a second look. Case in point: three of my ex’s have said when trying to reconnect that “it killed them to see me happy with another woman”. But during the break up, they said they lost feelings and want to see me happy with another woman. Everyone is different and so is every case, but from what I have experienced if you focus on your happiness and do not show weakness, they come back.
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