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Thread: Have you ever been left for or monkeybranched for someone else?

  1. #1
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    Have you ever been left for or monkeybranched for someone else?

    If so, what was the result? Did they live happily ever after with that person? Did they come back? Have they ever lied to you about it as well? My ex told me he was moving out of state in a few months...that was a lie. He had a new gf within 3-4 weeks.

    Also, why do you believe they do this? Are they just jerks? Are we not meeting their needs anymore all of a sudden? Do they think the grass is greener? I'm sure it can be a multitude of things but I'm genuinely confused.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    When things go lightening speed and someone is freshly divorced, this is your cue to stop dating before you get too involved after a few of months. Next time look for all the red flags of rebound including talking future, madly in love, etc. all way too soon.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
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    Never experienced it personally before.

    But from what I have seen people do it because they aren't able to be happy by themselves.

    I am sure some relationships do last that are made in this way.

    But often the people who do this never resolve any internal issues because they refuse to look inward.

    So they are just distracting themselves from the previous relationship.

    Hard to have a good relationship when you bring all that unresolved baggage from your earlier relationship into the next.

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    Wiseman2:

    Yes absolutely! I'm upset at myself for getting swept up in it all and not seeing the red flags. I was nothing but nice and caring to him and he completely discarded me from his life like I was nothing. I don't understand the lying about moving cities and the crying and acting concerned. Then to get with someone else. I don't understand the motive here.

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    There is no calculated motive, just a post-divorce mess of emotions from kid in the candy store to hurt looking for fresh distractions. As the prospect of getting hurt again nears, it's time for these balls of messes to roll on. Don't take it personally. None of it was real, only a reflection of his messed up state of mind.

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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    There is no calculated motive, just a post-divorce mess of emotions from kid in the candy store to hurt looking for fresh distractions. As the prospect of getting hurt again nears, it's time for these balls of messes to roll on. Don't take it personally. None of it was real, only a reflection of his messed up state of mind.
    Do you believe he will do it again? I keep blaming myself feeling like I did something wrong or wasn't good enough anymore I don't know why it's not healthy for me. He erased every trace of me I believe before getting with this new woman. Lying about moving is one hell of an excuse...is that in of itself enough that he is a messed up state of mind?

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    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    I've been monkeybranched and left for another woman. As far as I'm concerned they're still with her and happy (married with kids). I know this is not what a person going through that wants to hear and I've felt lots of pain when it happened but after a while you'll move on and don't care if they're still together and happy or not.
    I can't tell you why they do it. Sometimes it's not about us... they might like and admire us, but someone comes along and suddenly they want that person. I don't know why it happened either and I heard the typical "you're amazing, the best I ever had but..." and then a few days after I knew of the new relationship.

    Something I advise is to delete and block both so that you don't have any access to information about that relationship. Looking at their social media and "waiting" for them to break up will only delay your healing process.

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    Originally Posted by Annia
    I've been monkeybranched and left for another woman. As far as I'm concerned they're still with her and happy (married with kids). I know this is not what a person going through that wants to hear and I've felt lots of pain when it happened but after a while you'll move on and don't care if they're still together and happy or not.
    I can't tell you why they do it. Sometimes it's not about us... they might like and admire us, but someone comes along and suddenly they want that person. I don't know why it happened either and I heard the typical "you're amazing, the best I ever had but..." and then a few days after I knew of the new relationship.

    Something I advise is to delete and block both so that you don't have any access to information about that relationship. Looking at their social media and "waiting" for them to break up will only delay your healing process.
    Oh he already went and blocked me and deleted every post or picture of me and untagged himself in as well. I don't understand why he completely lied about it and made up this ridiculous excuse. Someone who could lie and just discard me in that way isn't someone I want to be with but I just don't understand it.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Most of the time, when someone decides to end a relationship with you, it's not about you, it's strictly about them.
    The extremes he went to in terms of lying to you....I mean...wow, you dodged a bullet here. Sane people do not lie like that. Period.

    It might help for you to acknowledge that what you miss and are hurting about losing isn't him, an insane liar, but rather the fantasy of what you'd like to have. Thing is that you absolutely can have that fantasy turn to reality if you put in the work and effort into finding the right guy for yourself. That means paying attention to red flags and getting rid of the wrong guys ruthlessly fast. You haven't lost what you actually want - you just haven't found it yet.

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    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Traceee
    I don't understand why he completely lied about it and made up this ridiculous excuse.
    It's guilt. Some people will lie through their teeth in order to avoid confrontation and the possibility of being told off. They prefer behaving like an ostrich putting its head in the sand. What you call "discarding" is motivated by his wish to block the source of his discomfort regarding the mess he created. Because he knows full well how he behaved. This kind of persons are low quality so you can rest assured that you lost no body special. However, you do need to move on. You are wasting valuable time on something that is not about you.

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