We disagree re:breakup & now he wants to be friends?

My ex and I disagree about why we broke up. He broke up with me. He thinks it's a compatibility issue but from my perspective it was a lack of communication that we could work out and possibly get back together. If not now then in a few months or even further down the road.

Now he wants to be friends; as in get coffee, hang out with our mutual friends at his apartment, etc. He was overly friendly with me at a party recently and wants to get coffee again soon so I know he really, really wants to be my friend.

I have a few options:

1. Don't tell him why I disagree with the breakup. Go no contact to get over my remaining feelings for him. Let it all go.

2. Don't tell him why I disagree with the breakup. Try to be his friend. Continue moving on but keep the peace between us.

3. Tell him why I disagree with the breakup and then go no contact.

4. Tell him why I disagree with the breakup and try to be his friend.

I KIND OF told him I disagree but was emotional in the moment so I just cried and apologized repeatedly, not fully knowing why I was apologizing. It took me a couple days to process what he said and my opinion on it.

I still have feelings for him. But maybe I can just stuff my feelings until they go away. He admitted that's what he's doing - he said: "I have lingering feelings but I'm not nurturing them" is what he said. He also said multiple times that he does not want to get back together at all.

Many benefits to staying friends, including that we care about each other and have a lot in common, we share all the same friends, we dated for a year and I was very, very attached to his dog who I'd like to still see from time to time, he hosts a lot of fun events weekly and monthly.

How do I make this decision?

THANK YOU FOR READING AND REPLYING

You cannot be friends with an ex that you still have feelings for.

You are lining yourself up for a world of further hurt.

Stuffing your feelings will only cause it to build until you find yourself set so far back

you will be causing your own train wreck.

He made it clear he does not want to get back together.

And being friends only hurts your chances for reconciliation, if he ever would consider it.

You just get placed on the back burner as a potential option when he's lonely or bored.

You cannot be friends with an ex that you still have feelings for.

You are lining yourself up for a world of further hurt.

Stuffing your feelings will only cause it to build until you find yourself set so far back

you will be causing your own train wreck.

 

He made it clear he does not want to get back together.

And being friends only hurts your chances for reconciliation, if he ever would consider it.

You just get placed on the back burner as a potential option when he's lonely or bored.

Thank you!!

Option 1 all the way.

A friendship is something that can be formed later down the track ONCE you are entirely over him. He just wants to move on to some FWB arrangement because you two are familiar. And to be honest, you are going to be broken the moment he shows up with another woman.

It is over, put all ideas of reconciliation and friendship out of your mind and move on. Begin the healing process and go NC. Reconciliation is not something that is going to happen by hanging out, but more by being missed. But also, don't go NC in hopes of making him miss you. Think moving on.

You can't be friends right now.

Think how you will feel once he tells you he is seeing someone else. Friends share that sort of thing, right?

Believe me, this is a road you don't want to travel with him.

Thanks everyone!

Option 1 all the way.

 

A friendship is something that can be formed later down the track ONCE you are entirely over him. He just wants to move on to some FWB arrangement because you two are familiar. And to be honest, you are going to be broken the moment he shows up with another woman.

 

It is over, put all ideas of reconciliation and friendship out of your mind and move on. Begin the healing process and go NC. Reconciliation is not something that is going to happen by hanging out, but more by being missed. But also, don't go NC in hopes of making him miss you. Think moving on.

We went no contact for 2.5 months but I didn't know why he broke up with me so I reached out to ask and that's when we caught up and he explained himself. Should I just go into no contact again?

We went no contact for 2.5 months but I didn't know why he broke up with me so I reached out to ask and that's when we caught up and he explained himself. Should I just go into no contact again?

Yes, because the relationship you had is gone.

Option 1 sounds the best for you. Don't keep drawing it out or hashing it out. Also don't do the friends thing since you are upset about the breakup and need to give yourself time-out.

I have a few options:

1. Don't tell him why I disagree with the breakup. Go no contact to get over my remaining feelings for him. Let it all go.

2. Don't tell him why I disagree with the breakup. Try to be his friend. Continue moving on but keep the peace between us.

3. Tell him why I disagree with the breakup and then go no contact.

4. Tell him why I disagree with the breakup and try to be his friend.

Yes, you should go No Contact with him again.

It doesn't really matter if you two disagree about the reasons you broke up. The relationship ended, whatever the case may be. Staying friends will keep you stuck and very likely only cause you more pain when you see him moving on.

You're all correct! Thanks everyone! As much as I want to use NC to get him back I'll just use it to forget about him. It's awful and hurts so incredibly much but I'll do it.

You're all correct! Thanks everyone! As much as I want to use NC to get him back I'll just use it to forget about him. It's awful and hurts so incredibly much but I'll do it.

Girl, go to the Post here instead of contacting you ex, thread, and see what I just vented.

You'll quickly find out you are making the right choice with NC!

This way, in keeping NC until you are healed , you won't have doubts arise.

Girl, go to the Post here instead of contacting you ex, thread, and see what I just vented.

You'll quickly find out you are making the right choice with NC!

This way, in keeping NC until you are healed , you won't have doubts arise.

Thanks I'll check it out!!!