Alcoholic Fiancee

My fiancé is an alcoholic who projects all his unhappiness onto me. It's so draining. I just told him I'm going to Las Vegas for an Administrative Conference paid by my job to attend and he lost his mind. He made it about him saying he's going to do whatever he wants. That I'm over doing it with my travel. I went on a 3 day weekend with his sister. I left to DC without him after locking me out of the house with my dog. I left to my sisters to sleep so he decides to put my clothes in garbage bags. I left for a week. Now I'm back and he's just telling me I have a hidden agenda in Vegas. My sister told me to invite him but honestly don't want him to go since he's just going to her super drunk and I don't expect anything good. So am I wrong for traveling and living because all he wants to do is be drunk everyday? Never goes anywhere with me. Finishes about three 1.75 liters of either whisky, vodka or tequila a week. He's a firefighter it would probably be 5 bottles if his job wasn't in the way. As I was trying to talk about our problems, his drinking and the fact we haven't had sex in over a year. He turned up the tv so loud.

Go to Vegas and dont come back. Seriously, alcoholics make terrible partners and this guy sounds like a typical drunk. He's abusive, obnoxious, whines, threatens, is angry, hostile etc. He does not think like normal people because his brain is altered from the alcohol. You should want better for yourself than to consider marrying him. He needs AA not a wife and you need a husband who is not a drunk.

Tell me why you are still with him. Dont give me the line that you love him, what is there to love? Do you realize alcoholics have to hit bottom before they may be willing to seek out help? Dont do this to yourself. Take your dog and go. Find a guy who is sober.

Go to Vegas and dont come back. Seriously, alcoholics make terrible partners and this guy sounds like a typical drunk. He's abusive, obnoxious, whines, threatens, is angry, hostile etc. He does not think like normal people because his brain is altered from the alcohol. You should want better for yourself than to consider marrying him. He needs AA not a wife and you need a husband who is not a drunk.

 

Tell me why you are still with him. Dont give me the line that you love him, what is there to love? Do you realize alcoholics have to hit bottom before they may be willing to seek out help? Dont do this to yourself. Take your dog and go. Find a guy who is sober.

Thank you your response. I'm preparing myself mentally and financially to leave.

Please take your dog to your family's house while you are away and don't go back. Take any family heirloom/irreplaceable pictures and go. Make sure he has no access to your bank accounts and break up with him while you are away. I would be more concerned about your safety. Please do NOT marry this man and break up immediately before he hurts you even more.

Please take your dog to your family's house while you are away and don't go back. Take any family heirloom/irreplaceable pictures and go. Make sure he has no access to your bank accounts and break up with him while you are away. I would be more concerned about your safety. Please do NOT marry this man and break up immediately before he hurts you even more.

I'm so ready to and just need to go! It's horrible to come home and find your personal items outside in garbage bags. I put my blood sweat and tears into this house. I trusted him. I lost out so much money.

I'm so ready to and just need to go! It's horrible to come home and find your personal items outside in garbage bags. I put my blood sweat and tears into this house. I trusted him. I lost out so much money.

Thank you for your reply and advice.

I'm so ready to and just need to go! It's horrible to come home and find your personal items outside in garbage bags. I put my blood sweat and tears into this house. I trusted him. I lost out so much money.

Do you own the house or does he?

I question why you are with this loser, much less considering a future with him. What do you want so little for yourself, and your future family?

Do you own the house or does he?

He does but like an idiot I was giving him way too much money a month for bills.

Don't waste anymore of your life, or money.

He's a firefighter it would probably be 5 bottles if his job wasn't in the way.

He's not going to last in the fire department at the rate he is going. He's got to pass physicals and you can't if you got alcoholism.

And did you say you guys were from D.C.? Because I personally know high ranked fire battalion officials within and outside of that area... I'd be very careful what you say about him and his job here.

He's not going to last in the fire department at the rate he is going. He's got to pass physicals and you can't if you got alcoholism.

 

And did you say you guys were from D.C.? Because I personally know high ranked fire battalion officials within and outside of that area... I'd be very careful what you say about him and his job here.

No I wasn't clear on the D.C. trip. We had a trip scheduled and because of his behavior I left without him. This was during the time I left home for a week because he locked me out. I won't disclose where we live. Thank you for advice.

Don't try discussing relationship problems with a drinking alcoholic; it's a complete waste of time. All you can reasonably expect of a guy like this is that he will drink, and the longer you stay with him, the further he'll drag you down.

Don't dwell on the fact that you've given him more money than was warranted. You're not going to get it back anyway, and the only thing you can do is ensure that you don't go pouring any more down that particular hole.

Put your energy into building a life without him in it, and be profoundly grateful that you didn't marry him or do anything which will tie you to him in a legal sense. But RUN, and soon!