Insecure about relationship with o

I'm a 22 male dating a 27 female. First off the girl I'm currently am seeing is very well off. She has a great job at a law firm and is getting her own home very soon. While I on the other hand do personal training and make peanuts, but still have my own apartment.

Basically I'm insecure about my stability with her as she may not want to be with a broke college student and eventually leave me for someone more towards her status.

Is this a rational fear or phase?

Or am I just overreacting?

It's an issue if in your head it's an issue (insecurity). Or if it's an issue in her head and you fail to recognize it and address it.

You're young, and haven't had as much time to establish yourself as she has. Don't feel insecure about it, as most people your age don't own their own homes or make a lot of money. You're doing fine. As for whether it will be an issue, it depends on what she values in a relationship. Some girls honestly don't care about those things, as long as there is a good connection between you two. But if she's looking to settle down and start a family within the next year or two, it might matter more to her. All you can do is be who you are, and don't feel bad about where you are in life. You have plenty of time to progress. Be with someone who likes you for you, not what you can provide.

She chose to date you, which means she is accepting you for whom you are. You are in college working towards your future, so you have nothing to be insecure about. She's just a little ahead of you, hence she is older than you so it makes sense.

Don't be so hard on yourself and look at the positives. She's with you, isn't she?

Is she a lawyer, or a receptionist at a law firm? If she's a lawyer enjoy it for what it is, an educated woman having some fun with a piece of muscle from the gym.

age wise it's obvious you haven't had as much time to establish a career etc but what seems more important is to be ok with where you are. the best way to do that in my experience is to be honest about it, starting with some people you feel safe with and then expanding that eventually to include the women you date.

do the work on yourself to figure out why you are doing what you're doing and where you're headed and i think it won't matter as much how much external validation you have accumulated to this point.

How long have you been dating? Were you her personal trainer? She knows where you stand and is still dating you. Do you feel like her boy-toy?

I'm a 22 male dating a 27 female. She has a great job at a law firm and is getting her own home very soon. While I on the other hand do personal training and make peanuts, but still have my own apartment.

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First of all, thank you all for the tremendous advice! Some of it really was spot on and I appreciate that.

So more details.

We started talking because she attended my group classes, basically I was her trainer.

She hasn't had many relationships.

Haven't had sexual relations so I doubt she just sees me as an object.

She mentioned starting a family soon due to her age.

We've been dating for 4 months.

Any signs from her that she sees it as an issue? If so, you need to address it. If not, then you need to calm your paranoia.

The age difference was brought up as a potential problem as she feels like she's running out of time for a family and I'm still young enough to start up

A new relationship if needed

Well, that is something to think about. If she wants kids and you don't see that anytime soon, you may want to move along. Personally, if I was in her shoes I would not be dating guys your age. She is right in that starting over for her is more risky if her goal is to have children. If your goals don't match hers, then you must do what is right for you. Good luck.

If this issue isn't overcome by you, it will end up splitting you two up.

I'm actually on board with the idea of having a family. That's not an issue for me.

100% she is not convinced. I'm not sure what you told her, but it hasn't been good enough for her. She still has doubts.

She chose to date you, which means she is accepting you for whom you are. You are in college working towards your future, so you have nothing to be insecure about. She's just a little ahead of you, hence she is older than you so it makes sense.

 

Don't be so hard on yourself and look at the positives. She's with you, isn't she?

Yeah I agree^^. I have a great job in a law firm too, make decent money, I used to have my own place downtown by the bay, but now have a roommate sharing a beautiful condo in one of the most desired areas in southern Cali.

Recently I met a man who works at Whole Foods! He works in and manages the deli dept (assistant manager) and is still in school getting his masters in business.

Lives in a house with like five other guys, doesn't have much money to "wine and dine" like my last boyfriend who was a big shot attorney and a JERK; I really don't give a cr** seriously.

When I met him we both felt an instant click, have loads of fun together and get on really well.

Whether or not that continues has yet to be seen but at this point I am not even thinking long term or about a future with him, just living and enjoying the moment which is more my style anyway.

But if I were to think about a future with him, not worried. He is studying for his MBA and is a go getter type so no doubt he will do well, whether we end up together or not..

Sounds like you are as well, so relax and enjoy!

As jujusamples said, she's with you, she chose you, which speaks volumes!

ETA: And being a personal trainer is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

I would totally date a personal trainer, in fact had a bit of a flirtation with one many weeks back but nothing came of it (my fault -- my head was not in a good place at the time) but point is I would have dated him even if that was all he aspired to.

The age difference was brought up as a potential problem as she feels like she's running out of time for a family and I'm still young enough to start up

Please notice this everyone. This is an issue for her.

Please notice this everyone. This is an issue for her.

Well okay if she is looking for a "baby-maker" then I suppose OP is not the man for her, which is an entirely different issue from what he discussed in his original post.

Frankly I cannot relate to dating a man and viewing him as a potential baby maker .... that concept is so far removed from my consciousness, for me it's like putting the cart before the horse which is a recipe for disaster imo, but I guess many women do feel this way, to each his own.

One has to wonder though why she bothered to start dating him in the first place, feeling this way.

I mean they've been dating four months already, if this were an issue, she should have ended it a long time ago, as soon as she discovered his age and dating goals.