How can I win him back ?

My boyfriend of 1 year and I broke up around a week after our anniversary. This wasn't the first time we broke up so I wasn't as heart broken. But I want him back because I get a feeling that I thought I would never get with anyone when I'm with him. I feel like we should spend our lives together and my feelings like such are usually never wrong. But he feels that we may not work married. After our breakup he wanted to cut all communication off , not in a bad way .. just so that we can get used to not talking to each other all the time and so on. Yet we still talk everyday , he still wants me to come over to his place and hang out he still holds me at night and runs his hands through my hair. Still looks at me with that look

He's been talking to other girls lately but every time he goes to meet up with them or he does meet up with them he realizes how much him and this person doesn't match. It's usually things that me and him really love to do together that the next woman doesn't like at all or would rather not do

A close friend of mine told me that he just wants to see if " the grass is greener on the other side " and he'll be back once he realizes that grass is no where near watered and green as it is over here. But of course I'm not over here just waiting for him to come back. But I do want him back .. what can I do ?

Time, unfortunately. With that being said, life is short. Unrequited love, or the absence of a 2 way relationship can be agonizing. You really should implement no contact. I figure if the grass is greener he's not going to realize while hanging out with you after you've broken up. He needs to see what he's missing

Sorry about this. I know it sucks. Stay strong. Xx

Cut the communication off, as he requested. It's really unfair that he did this, but is still asking you to come over and acting all relationship-y when you already know he is talking to other girls. Tell him you aren't happy with this arrangement, and to only contact you again if and when he is ready to work on making things work with YOU and no other girls.

Google "Corey Wayne." He has a ton of great articles and YouTube videos about this kind of thing. His target audience is more male than female, but the same rules to prevent yourself from being jerked around still apply.

Exactly. It is either "on" or it's "off". He doesn't feel like being in a relationship with you anymore, but he still wants your company and attention. If he broke it off and it's "off", then you should not be hanging out and talking every day. It's great that it nice for him and he can ween himself off you slowly and comfortably, but it may not be good for you.

If you stop seeing him now, he will understand what "off" means, he will get a chance to feel through what it's like to be without you. As a result, he may decide that it is fine with him after some time and move on, there is no guarantee; or he may realise that he still wants you in his life as a girlfriend. Either scenario is then possible, and time will show. But if you continue to spend time with him, he will never even have a chance to feel things through and understand himself, and then by far most likely you'll just be gradually shifting to friendship and he'll eventually be dating others. I am not saying it is wrong or bad - perhaps you are ok with that friendship? But if you want more and are not willing to be just friends, then I strongly suggest to stop hanging out.

Sorry to hear this. Why was it on/off? What were the breakups about? It sounds like he wants to play the field while he keeps you around as a fwb. Go no contact and block him. Why be his backup plan until he gets laid?

This wasn't the first time we broke up. he still wants me to come over to his place and hang out he still holds me at night.He's been talking to other girls lately but every time he goes to meet up with them

Ask yourself, what's going on that you allready broke up twice in your one year relationship? Would you like to go through this for the rest of your life?

You are setting yourself up for heartbreak, OP.

What happens when he does click with one of the girls he's seeing? You will be left in the dust.

The sad reality is that while you do believe you two belong together, he doesn't share that feeling. If he did, he wouldn't have dared end it. A relationship isn't possible when the feelings are one-sided like that. There also shouldn't be break-ups, especially given your relatively short relationship. Something is wrong when a couple is on-off.

You need to stop playing Plan B while he's actually out dating other girls. You are lowering your self-respect too much and I promise it won't help win him back. He will instead see you as an easy back-up, and not take you seriously. You need to display boundaries. You need to not be so available to him. If there is even the slightest chance he will come back, you are going about it all wrong, girl.

After our breakup he wanted to cut all communication off , not in a bad way .. just so that we can get used to not talking to each other all the time and so on.

 

Translation: so you get used to not being in a relationship and not expecting any kind of commitment from him (taking you out on dates included)

 

Yet we still talk everyday , he still wants me to come over to his place and hang out he still holds me at night and runs his hands through my hair. Still looks at me with that look

 

He has demoted you from girlfriend to f*ck buddy and is using you to keep getting laid until he meets someone else he wants a relationship with. Don't romanticize this and read into things that are not there. If he had the same feelings for you as before, he wouldn't have broken up with you.

 

He's been talking to other girls lately but every time he goes to meet up with them or he does meet up with them he realizes how much him and this person doesn't match.

 

He is now free to date around while sleeping with you, and that's how dating goes, you go out with various people and not all will be a good match; however, eventually one of them will stick!

 

A close friend of mine told me that he just wants to see if " the grass is greener on the other side " and he'll be back once he realizes that grass is no where near watered and green as it is over here. But of course I'm not over here just waiting for him to come back. But I do want him back .. what can I do ?

Pull the safety net from under his feet. You are basically making his moving on process easier for him, by allowing him to act like a single man while still having all the perks of a relationship (mainly sex). While this helps him, it will destroy you mentally when he meets a woman he wants to start a relationship with, and guess what? When that happens, he won't be there for you to keep you warm until you meet someone else, the way you've been for him.

If your relationship has any chance to be fixed, you need to stop doing what you're doing like yesterday. Remove yourself from his life completely - this means no communication of any kind and of course no sex and sleepovers. Let him see what his life is like without you in it. Let him miss you. If that doesn't make him reconsider things, then it means he wouldn't have stayed anyway. Don't think that going no contact is going to lead to you losing him, because this is just not true. By the sounds of it, he has already mentally checked out. Now let him live with the consequences of his choice, and if that means going through a dry spell, so be it! Not your problem anymore...