Shoud I break up because my girlfriend hooked up with my cousin in t

I'm jealous because my girlfriend had casual sex with my cousin before she met me.

We've been dating for a year, she's very funny, caring, sexy, our sex is great, we love each other, problem is she confessed me in our second month together that years ago she had casual sex with my cousin, they've known each other since college!

I never forgot about this, I'm still very sad about that, i can't overcome anymore...i'm feeling betrayed by my cousin because he lied to me, he said she was only a friend when i met her, i never could get over i don't talk to him anymore. I like her very much but i don't know what to do. I'm suffering!

They've know each other for a long time since college, but she said was only casual, they never dated!

I'm not jealous because she had sex with someone else in her past, I wasn't a virgin either. That's not the issue here, I know everybody has a sexual past.

Problem is she had sex with my cousin, my family member. It's weird, it's discusting, sometimes when I have sex with her I get paranoid imagining things, imagining how their sex was...It's horrible!

After all this time, almost a year, I'm really trying to forget but sometimes I remember and it hurts! The fact the i have sex with the same girl my cousin had bothers me too much!

Since I'll never forget this, should I break up with my girlfriend?

Kinda creepy because you must see family a lot and if this gets serious that could get awkward. Do you think he just omitted the hook-up part? Had he told you would you have not dated her?

You may have to end it if those images and the whole family thing is too creepy.

my girlfriend had casual sex with my cousin before she met me. he said she was only a friend when i met her.The fact the i have sex with the same girl my cousin had bothers me.

Why have you waited a year to consider breaking up with her when she told you about this after 2 months?

Why have you waited a year to consider breaking up with her when she told you about this after 2 months?

I almost broke up with her after she told me but I decided to keep the relationship thinking I would forget about, but I never did!

Have you had to see both of them at any family functions?

I almost broke up with her after she told me but I decided to keep the relationship thinking I would forget about, but I never did!

This is on you, then. It keeps cropping up and you're never going to get over the feelings you have. Eventually it will make itself known whether you want it to or not. It's better to save you and her a lot of heartache and just end it now, before it becomes a lot more difficult to do so.

Have you had to see both of them at any family functions?

No I dont see my family I'm not close to them...About my cousin, I don't talk to him anymore!

If she told you two months in, and this disgusts you so much, why didn't you just break up with her then? What do you want? Want her to go back to the past and erase it? You can either accept it or break up with her. There is literally nothing else you can do.

If she told you two months in, and this disgusts you so much, why didn't you just break up with her then? What do you want? Want her to go back to the past and erase it? You can either accept it or break up with her. There is literally nothing else you can do.

I know about what you're saying, I like her a lot and I tell you I almost broke up with her a thousand times...It's complicated, but eventually one day I think I'll end up breaking up anyway!

Never EVER ask your loved one ANY sexual details PRIOR to your relationship. Nothing good can EVER come of it. It's also completely irrelevant to your current relationship. Simply doesn't matter.

Only details that should be shared are a) STD b) nudes/porn and c) high level of partners, rest......if you don't know, it can't hurt you.

Next time, ask her politely to stop and keep it to herself. And of course, NEVER EVER ask. It will only bring pain....LONG TERM pain.

It sounds like after this news you tried to rationalize it because of how you felt about her. But eventually if that image is burned in your brain, it's just contaminated things too much.

One thing...don't string her along if you don't see this going anywhere, just explain exactly what you've stated here...that despite trying, that image is too hard to forget on a gut level.

I like her a lot but eventually one day I think I'll end up breaking up anyway!

It's complicated, but eventually one day I think I'll end up breaking up anyway!

Don't waste her time or your time anymore, and make it happen then. You're depriving two different lives from happiness with others if you already have your mind set to "one day" end things.

Never EVER ask your loved one ANY sexual details PRIOR to your relationship. Nothing good can EVER come of it. It's also completely irrelevant to your current relationship. Simply doesn't matter.

 

Only details that should be shared are a) STD b) nudes/porn and c) high level of partners, rest......if you don't know, it can't hurt you.

 

Next time, ask her politely to stop and keep it to herself. And of course, NEVER EVER ask. It will only bring pain....LONG TERM pain.

I didn't ask nothing, she told my about my cousin because she started to have feelings for me and she didn't want to hide anything from me! She did right but...She thought I would break up with her after telling me, I didn't, but I still feel confused!

I know about what you're saying, I like her a lot and I tell you I almost broke up with her a thousand times...It's complicated, but eventually one day I think I'll end up breaking up anyway!

Woah woah woah.... Ok, You are officially wasting her time. Break up with her today.

You either need to get over it or get out of it. You describe her as near perfect, so if she's really that wonderful and you are happy being with her, it sounds like you need to work on you. Remember, this happened before you guys got in a relationship, it isn't as if she did anything wrong or betrayed you in any way. Is it the fact that it's a family member? Would you have a similar outlook if it was a friend? Whatever you decide, DoF nailed it -sexual pasts are never a discussion to have moving forward.

You can't keep doing the same thing and expecting things to change. What she did with your cousin in the past really doesn't matter, and the fact that he kept it from you was clearly for your own good, seeing how hard it is for you to get that thought out of your head. If she had never told you, how would your relationship have been different? Have you stayed together because you think that your reason for wanting to break up isn't good enough? Do you think you would still be together if you hadn't known? If you think you would have still been together, it may be worth seeking therapy to try and get your mind out of it's obsession. Because this is an obsession. There's no reason to be this jealous about something that happened so long ago, and before you met her, even with a family member, for as long as you have. There is more to a relationship than sex, and since it was casual, it's not like there was anything really close between them. It was just body parts and instinct.

If you really can't get past that, then you should stop thinking you are going to break up with her, and do it already.

Another option, which I usually think is a bad idea, is to take some time away from each other. Maybe with that space it will give you some perspective to see what she really means to you, and whether this is as big of an issue as it seems.

You either need to get over it or get out of it. You describe her as near perfect, so if she's really that wonderful and you are happy being with her, it sounds like you need to work on you. Remember, this happened before you guys got in a relationship, it isn't as if she did anything wrong or betrayed you in any way. Is it the fact that it's a family member? Would you have a similar outlook if it was a friend? Whatever you decide, DoF nailed it -sexual pasts are never a discussion to have moving forward.

I know it happened before, I know she didn't cheat on me. If is the fact that it's a family member? Yes! Would I have a similar outlook if it was a friend? Yes, I would feel the same!!

You can't keep doing the same thing and expecting things to change. What she did with your cousin in the past really doesn't matter, and the fact that he kept it from you was clearly for your own good, seeing how hard it is for you to get that thought out of your head. If she had never told you, how would your relationship have been different? Have you stayed together because you think that your reason for wanting to break up isn't good enough? Do you think you would still be together if you hadn't known? If you think you would have still been together, it may be worth seeking therapy to try and get your mind out of it's obsession. Because this is an obsession. There's no reason to be this jealous about something that happened so long ago, and before you met her, even with a family member, for as long as you have. There is more to a relationship than sex, and since it was casual, it's not like there was anything really close between them. It was just body parts and instinct.

 

If you really can't get past that, then you should stop thinking you are going to break up with her, and do it already.

 

Another option, which I usually think is a bad idea, is to take some time away from each other. Maybe with that space it will give you some perspective to see what she really means to you, and whether this is as big of an issue as it seems.

Thanks for your reply.