CreeD Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I know it is not possible to give an accurate answer to this, but I am looking for some female dumpers to shine some lights on this for me: Lets imagine you are in a healthy and loving relationship with a guy you say is "the man of your dreams". Some stuff happends in you life. New school, new job, a lot of stress and you also need to build a new social circel. You loose feelings for your boyfriend and dump him. Maybe it is due to stress, maybe GIGS, or maybe this new life with all you new singel classmates just seem more fun. Who knows? When you dump him you still say you are pretty sure he was the guy you are surpose to end up with, but you are not feeling it right now. You head really wants it, but your heart is not in it... Then follows 2 months with Low Contact. For some reason you act hot/cold during these 2 months. It is mostly you who starts the conversation. Sometimes you send him many sweet texts, and then follows a week or more where you just ignore him for some reason.. After this he removes you from all social medias, and goes completely NC... You haven't heard a word from him in nearly 2 months now... Looking for female dumpers who has been in a situration close to this. My question is: how long did it take before you started missing dumpee? And what went through you minds? Where you affraid to make contact because you asumed he was pissed at you? Trying to understand my ex's mind Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I know it is not possible to give an accurate answer to this your opening said it all really... I have dumped people and breathed a sigh of relief ..there was no missing them ..that why I dumped them . Link to comment
faraday Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 When I was younger, I would contact guys I dumped out of guilt....but I didn't miss them. I've never wanted to get back together with someone I've ended things with. Often, I would miss being in a relationship...but not with him. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
catfeeder Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 The 'sweet' texts are combo plate of guilt mixed with a need for my own comfort in moving forward. If you've been my safety net for a long time, it's totally self serving for me to put those out without regard for your need to ditch the idea of waiting for me so you can move on. Nobody can talk you out of blocking contact with her, but if you want her to wonder what you've been up to rather than taking for granted that you've socked yourself away suffering while awaiting her pity crumbs, STOP RESPONDING. I'd make it my goal to allow a bit of anger to light a fire in me. I'd opt to surprise everyone--including myself--with my ability to bounce back and cultivate a fabulous new life for myself. If you want to increase any possible chance of her wishing to reconcile with you, leave her breadcrumbs in the dust. She will have zero problem catching up to you someday if she ever wants to reconcile. Settle for nothing less, and say, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' to low contact and playing 'friendzies'. Skip THAT, and your self esteem will skyrocket--and so will her respect for you. Head high, you can do this. Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Catfeeder GREAT RESPONSE Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Not a female dumper, but if she's initiating contact and you are responding, she's not missing you because she knows you're there. You responding will guarantee she never misses you. So stop. Link to comment
CreeD Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 Thanks for these great replies. Like I mention in my post I cut of all contact with her 2 months ago. Catfeeder: what do you mean by breadcrums? Could you explain or give me some examples? I want us to reconsile. And I am wondering about Ps: we dont live in the same city Link to comment
SadJohn Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 This an interesting thread. I posted my story today. And now I wonder what is going thru the mind of my ex? She is hurting and sad. Is she having second thoughts? I'm going to speak with her for the first time since the intial break up almost one month ago. What I would give to get inside her head... Link to comment
CreeD Posted December 15, 2014 Author Share Posted December 15, 2014 Yeah would be nice to see what is going on inside their heads Catfeeder: could you explain what you mean by breadcums? Link to comment
catfeeder Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 Thanks for these great replies. Like I mention in my post I cut of all contact with her 2 months ago. Catfeeder: what do you mean by breadcrums? Could you explain or give me some examples? I want us to reconsile. And I am wondering about Ps: we dont live in the same city Most dumpers enjoyed at least one or two aspects of the relationship, just not enough to stay. So if they can manipulate you into into still giving them the comforts of your friendship and support even while they get to enjoy the freedom of being single, their exit is all gain--no pain. So when a dumper puts out little 'crumbs' of friendship, that's all about her comfort rather than any concern for you. If you're willing to participate, that's great for her--it makes her transition fabulous--even while it only scrapes open your pain with every contact and prevents you from healing. Don't settle for crumbs. Doing so just keeps her comfy and secure as she walks away. If you want her to miss you, cut that cord and allow her to learn what her life will be like without you in it. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted December 15, 2014 Share Posted December 15, 2014 When someone dumps you and then acts wishy washy, the only thing you should do is cut them off 100% forever. Just cut it out! Link to comment
CreeD Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 If you want to increase any possible chance of her wishing to reconcile with you, leave her breadcrumbs in the dust. Any ideas how I could do that? Never tried it before. We dont live in the same city Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 It's pretty hard to reconcile when you aren't living in the same city. It is not a natural process where you can just start seeing each other again. I say, it's more important to accept that she chose to end the relationship for a reason. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Any ideas how I could do that? Never tried it before. We dont live in the same city Stop all contact and let her miss you. Link to comment
CreeD Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Stop all contact and let her miss you. All done. Going on 2 months now Not only has she tried to post love quotes on her social pages, but since I did not react to them she has now also started to like some of my posts to get my attention. Link to comment
Shane Falco Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 All done. Going on 2 months now Not only has she tried to post love quotes on her social pages, but since I did not react to them she has now also started to like some of my posts to get my attention. Dude, if you are creeping her social media, you aren't in no contact. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 All done. Going on 2 months now Not only has she tried to post love quotes on her social pages, but since I did not react to them she has now also started to like some of my posts to get my attention. You need to get that is it over, done, and it's never going to happen. Cut her out, delete her from facebook, don't look back. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 I honestly think it all depends on how the relationship ended and how the relationship was collectively. I am a 30 year old female. I've left all of my past relationships because they ended badly. I never looked back and was truly happy at my decision. I was recently in a 7 month relationship. He dumped me. It's the worst feeling in the world. We had a great relationship and I want him back. Link to comment
obsessed2 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 "Trying to understand my ex's mind" This is 100% impossible for anyone on here to figure out. Only your ex knows. You really have to stop worrying about this because it is impossible. Even if you talked with her you probably wouldn't get the truth. You just never know. You go entirely off of actions and not words. That tells you everything YOU need to know. Focus on yourself and stop worrying about what she is thinking. I know, I've been there. It is hopeless. If she wants to get back in touch, she will. There is nothing you can do. Link to comment
Jake7778 Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 Always be the best version of yourself and stand strong in knowing that you are valuable. Ask yourself how you feel about yourself today? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 12, 2020 Share Posted January 12, 2020 Another old thread. Six years old. Your thread is active and receiving responses. That's the best way to use this forum rather than digging up threads that are many, many years old. Link to comment
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