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Thread: Why do MEN ask you out and then never follow through?!!! =(

  1. #1
    25something
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    Why do MEN ask you out and then never follow through?!!! =(

    Its been a while since I've been on here, but not too long ago I met two guys on different occasions/times who I thought were potential guys I would like to get to know. They flirt with me all the time and because these guys are not exactly the type of men I usually go for physically/mentally I was interested in getting to know them as well. Well both guys asked me out, but never followed through? I'm not sure why? I feel a little pathetic writing this on here? Why ask a woman out and not follow through? You mind as well not ask her at all. I'm confused and kind of hurt, maybe its getting close to valentines day and some of these guys don't want nothing to do with me or the holiday lol? I'm trying really hard to move on, but it bugs me sometimes. Its like I'm not sure I can trust anyone who ever asks me out again. I'm not sure why people think its funny to flirt with someone and ask them out then don't follow through. Just save me the heartache and don't lead me on at least. One of the guys even asked my sister for suggestions of places to take me out to dinner?

    Nobody deserves to be stood up, not even men.

    The question is why? Why lead her on, ask her out, and stand her up like a dumb-idiot. Why do you stand a woman up?

  2. #2
    Double J
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    When they asked you out, what was your response? How did they not follow through (by not calling you on the phone, etc.)?

    Perhaps something in your reaction/response gave them the impression that you weren't all that interested. Maybe you have to work on clearly conveying to these gentleman that you'd like to take them up on their offer and go out with them. Women sometimes give mixed signals that can easily trip guys up -- especially those who are less experienced in the dating arena.

  3. #3
    Stay_home
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    Sometimes people bite off more than they can chew.

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    Lonewing
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    Cause they're idiots?

  5. #5
    CatsMeeoow
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    I've been stood up ---- the one time was a classic case of being totally intimidated by me... I was way out of his league issue and he panicked... (he admitted this years later... lol... his loss because I was totally hooked on him but found a way to move on while he constantly had a crush on me.)

    The other time was because of a combination of being intimidated by me - his dates usually were typically movie/dinnner/bar scene and I wanted to go to a jazz concert at a university... he panicked cause it was out of his comfort zone and not sure why because it was a college campus where you could dress up or just go in jeans... tried to say he was busy and we could catch dinner later around 7:30pm and I said "great - concert starts at 7:30pm".... got more excuses and the other part was he was truly a flake when it came to time commitments as he would get easily distracted by what ever was in front of him and forgot that he would say he would call.

    The thing don't let it bring you down by thinking its something wrong with you --- its not!!! Its something wrong with them. Hold your head up and keep on trucking! You will have to date a lot of bad apples to find the juicy one!

  6. #6
    clearNOS
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    No disrespect, because this is from experience & finally accepting the truth. Most BUT not ALL men do (AND ITS TRUE) are thinking of sex in the moment of seeing a woman and there fantasy at that MOMENT!! These men I am sure do this with most women they meet...But its like to collect woman and maybe take their pick. Or its an impulsive and increase his self-esteem to get a positive respone so overall I feel alot of men only think in gray area, which we all know is nothing like most woman.
    Be thankful they didnt call you and things happen for a reason.....

  7. #7
    BrianH46
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    I think Double J nailed it on the head. I've almost never had a woman reject giving me their number (it's because they don't want to offend me) so I don't assume a woman is into me just because she gave me her number but rather I look at how she gave me her number. If she seems really keen and is all smiles then I'll give her a call or text asking her out within a week. If she seems apprehensive in giving me her number then it's one of two things, she's not interested or she's shy in both cases I don't contact her.

    You said both guys weren't the kind of guys you would go for, maybe they picked up on that and decided to cut their losses. Women are never blunt when they reject a guy so we developed a system to guess whether you're into us or not lol.

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    Thorshammer
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    I dont stand people up, thats rude and mean. But, i do make the effort to attract, get the number, then just quickly back down. It has nothing to do with them not being worth my interest, it just seemed that their behavior wasnt to my liking. Like I had to pull her in too much, and when I sit back and take it all in a few days later, i just dont want to match that effort anymore, i dont want to match that intensity.

    Also, i am deeply attracted to her at the time (usually full of liquid courage). When i sober up, yes... i could get a bit intimidated (like what catsmeooow explained), and again.. i dont want to put the same effort to attract again.

    And sometimes i just enjoy the chase.

  9. #9
    22n32
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    sometimes guys do it, to see if they still can or have it in them..

  10. #10
    Batya33
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    I think being stood up means you show up at the place where you're supposed to meet and the other person never shows up. I had situations where the guy asked me out or wanted to arrange a first meet and then never followed through -rude behavior - but if I had focused on that and focused on the negative stuff I wouldn't have had the essential positive energy to get back in the game ASAP.

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