Boyfriend uses text as main form of communication!! help!

My bf and I have been together 3 months. For the past 2 1/2 months, he would text me a little during the day, but he always called me at night. The last week and a half, he hasn't been doing that. He will mostly text like its a proper form of communication. Then, I will call at night and sometimes he answers, and other times he calls me back. So, last night I didn't call him at all. He didn't call me though, he texted.He texted me during the day too. But we are in a relationship, so I expect the courtesy of just one phone call at night to see how my day was. Texting is just so inpersonal! He wouldn't text his dad to see how his day is, he calls him. I expect the same courtesy, but he doesn't get it. I feel if a guy thinks your ok with texting, why should he call??? Well, I guess I can ignore most his texts then maybe he would get the picture?

I never called in my relationship.

I just prefer texting.

Anyway - don't EXPECT him to call you. If you want to talk to him at least once a day, then you call him OR you tell him that you want him to call.

The problem only really starts when you've told him already but he's not doing it.

Well, I guess I can ignore most his texts then maybe he would get the picture?

Umm...why not tell him you would rather he called you in the evening? Playing games is silly, and usually ends up making the issue worse. If you just say, I would really like it if you called me in the evening instead of texting. Then explain why you prefer it. I am sure he will understand.

Playing games is silly, and usually ends up making the issue worse.

Yeah agreed.

Golden rule - Don't play games.

They can ALWAYS tell when you start playing games. I swear.

Texting is both an awesome tool and a terrible tool.

It's awesome because you don't have to have full-blown conversations. You can answer when you are free. You can give people the play-by-play of what's going on. "Bring home milk" and "Dinner tonight?" are great messages to text. You can get your answer quickly and you don't get side-tracked.

It's terrible because if you text regularly and give the play-by-play... what do you have to talk about at night? You've already said everything. He KNOWS how your day was because you told him as it was happening.

I think you should have a conversation with him. Just tell him that you prefer phone calls and that you don't really want to have all these conversations via text. Then... only answer questions or have brief comments via text. If it starts getting into a story? Call.

I also agree that you can simply call him, btw.

I don't think there's anything wrong with texting... but if it's bothering you, you should set some boundaries.

Why is a nightly call a "courtesy?" To me it's something couples do who both want to talk every night (or once a day). If you want to tell him about your day then call him - if nothing much happened, then don't but don't expect him to call you as a "courtesy". If you don't like texting tell him that. If it's really important for you to be with someone who wants to talk to you every day then he might not be the guy for you but discuss it with him -not in a needy way but in a "I really enjoy when we can catch up at night - is that a bad time for you to talk?" For example, I am no longer a person who wants to talk by phone at night because of my different lifestyle now -I affirmatively don't want to other than in an emergency. Maybe he is the same.

He should be doing it on his own. Texting is inpersonal with a gf. I just think people have become lazy in relationships now. Before there was texting you had no choice but to call! Well, maybe we can compromise, but still I think a 5 min convo isn't too much to ask.Texting isn't making much of an effort.

I told him last week that I like to talk on the phone more, but he obv doesn't get the picture. He was calling and texting for 2 1/2 months, so to all of a sudden stop that routine, means he thinks I'm fine with him just texting me. He has full blown convo's too. So, I sent him a text today and told him that I don't mind texting here and there, but that I also want to talk once a day. Basically said I want to limit the texts. Because he is the type to call not just text, so he is being lazy.

He should be doing it on his own. Texting is inpersonal with a gf. I just think people have become lazy in relationships now. Before there was texting you had no choice but to call! Well, maybe we can compromise, but still I think a 5 min convo isn't too much to ask.Texting isn't making much of an effort.

Do you really want him calling you daily to check in out of a sense of obligation? Sure, if you had children or similar together and you were holding down the fort I probably would agree but it's often a huge turn off if a person feels obligated to check in with an SO -starts to feel stifling. I don't think people have become lazy in relationships. Sounds like you're a bit lazy perhaps in your refusal to tell him directly what you want and need.

Before there was texting there was a choice - if you didn't have a cell (I didn't until two years ago), and didn't have an answering machine (yup I dated in the 80s!!) then you might not be able to check in every day or you might have to trust each other with "I tried you but the line was busy" (no caller ID either!) or you had to have a specific time to talk at night that you scheduled in advance.

Most of my friends -and myself included! -put our all into our relationships -you're entitled to your view that texting is lazy (I never have in a relationship or otherwise as a form of regular communication) but if you really think people have become lazy in relationships why even bother? It's hard enough to make a relationship work without that kind of negativity. Any chance you can work on your mindset? I think it will be worth the effort.

I hate talking on the phone. I would get quite annoyed if my bf wanted to call every night. I love texts because i can reply when i have a moment. I normally am out most nights and would not like to have to interrupt whatever i was doing and walk outside to call. texts are easy, you can answer them even if you are out with other people. I once had a bf who insisted on calling on every lunchbreak, drove me crazy and i barely had time to eat lunch!!

But we are in a relationship, so I expect the courtesy of just one phone call at night to see how my day was.

It sounds as though you want him to call out a sense of obligation instead of a genuine desire to call and talk about something substantial. I can't speak for your boyfriend, but nothing annoys me more than vacuous "How are you doing?" conversations which are scheduled or happen just for the sake of it. I find them terribly awkward, artificial, and unpleasant. While they certainly serve a purpose sometimes (eg, if you haven't spoken with someone in weeks) I don't see the point in having them every day.

enchanted, I don't say this to sound offensive--as I admittedly don't know you IRL whatsoever and could be completely wrong--but when I read your threads I get the vibe that you might be what is called "high maintenance". Jealousy, demanding lots of contact, etc. If I were you I would try to take a step back and analyze these traits, as they can and often are very destructive to otherwise healthy relationships.

Just another point of view, I was reading over at Baggage Reclaim that what you are describing could be a red flag of a person who is emotionally unavailable. I wouldn't like it either.

Well sometimes you just have to sacrifice on both sides, you two should make an arrangement so he texts you during the day and at night talk on the phone. You both can't have everything your way you know.

what would happen if you stopped texting and responding to his texts? Just a thought.

Maybe he's just the type who likes to have days where he can just do his own thing, like just relax or hang out with friends without having to talk to you. It's nothing against you, some people just need more space than others.

Personally I'd be pretty annoyed if my girlfriend told me that I owed her at least one phone call a day.

I personally preferred it when my bf would text me. Other than that, we'd rather go to eachothers house and hang out for an hour or so as opposed to having an hour phone call.

'Texting' is just a way to keep in contact; touch base so to speak.

In my opinion though.....texting as the main means of communication is a sign on immaturity to me. I have not read all the comments on this thread...but how are he's communication skills in person? Face to face?