my boyfriend has never been with another girl

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now. I am 25 and he is 22. We get along great, have wonderful sex, live together without conflict and are comfortable talking about everything. We have even talked about marriage; however, he has never been in a long term relationship nor had sex with another girl. Is this reason, in and of itself, to break up? Are we digging ourselves into a deeper and deeper hole by prolonging something that can't work in the long run?

Any and all advice appreciated!

Is he curious to be with other women? Does he say he wants that? The whole dating, messing around thing? Because when it comes down to it, the people who do that, lose the good partner (long term partner) they had. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Or are you the only one worried here?

??? You're wondering if you should break up because he hasn't slept with anyone else?

The fact that you bring up breaking up leads me to believe that you're considering it for another reason, and him only having been with 1 person is just an excuse.

Are you not happy with him anymore?

I was with my ex for almost 3 years, and hadn't been with anyone else and was preparing to propose. I didn't care that I hadn't been with anyone else; it just never meant much to sleep with a bunch of different people I didn't care about.

No it is not at all. Some guys get the "ive only slept with one girl" blues, but others can appreciate what they have. I think if you guys connect on a level where no other girl can come close than you've no problem. I have been in a relationship with mine for about five years and while I see other girls and find them attractive they are still missing something. I always think to myself, "You cant compare", You sound like you might be that girl to him, plus your older, thats points. So if your relationship is solid and you both love each other very much, you have everything he wants. And as you guys grow, that bond can grown ever stronger. Don't doubt it just take it day by day and time adds up.

To answer your questions Staveandor, we're very happy. I don't want the relationship to end. Eventually, I want to get married and have children. But I don't want to do this with someone who might, in five years, regret not having all the experiences that liberal american males feels entitled to.

I understand your concerns. I have friends who have been together since they were 16, some 18 and some around 21/22. Now that they are in their early or mid thirties, they think they have missed out. Everyone thinks they are missing out, so its silly to say its just them.

you can't help when you meet your special someone, but I would have concerns too if I was with a guy who had never been with anyone else. It might be fin, it night not.. but thats the same with any couple.

I disagree with the others who say things like 'its just an excuse' because it would be a concern for me as well. Luckily I have never been in that situation.

You have a right to be concerned because many couples who haven't dated others, then think of if they missed out on anything. That is mainly influenced by other people, they have to get those ideas from somewhere, right?

No, that's a horrible reason to end a relationship.

I don't know if the idea that dating/messing around before marriage is worthwhile, or if it's just trendy. Statistics (for whatever they're worth) seem to say that those who get married later in life are more likely to stay together, implying that they've looked around before settling down.

Is taking time off or living apart for a while a way to give him that experience, or is that just a recipe for disaster?

Thank you all for your very quick, thoughtful replies!

I don't know if the idea that dating/messing around before marriage is worthwhile, or if it's just trendy. Statistics (for whatever they're worth) seem to say that those who get married later in life are more likely to stay together, implying that they've looked around before settling down.

 

Is taking time off or living apart for a while a way to give him that experience, or is that just a recipe for disaster?

 

Thank you all for your very quick, thoughtful replies!

I think the reason people break up if they marry sooner is due to the fact that they people are still changing drastically through their twenties.

 

Is taking time off or living apart for a while a way to give him that experience, or is that just a recipe for disaster?

 

I'am kind of in his shoes right now except I have never been with anyone but depending on the kind of guy he is it could be a disaster or a test as to weither or not the relationship will continue.

There are any number of reasons for relationships to fail and for people to decide to cheat. This is just one of them.

Would you break up with him for fear he might choose one of the other reasons?

I don't know if the idea that dating/messing around before marriage is worthwhile, or if it's just trendy. Statistics (for whatever they're worth) seem to say that those who get married later in life are more likely to stay together, implying that they've looked around before settling down.

 

Is taking time off or living apart for a while a way to give him that experience, or is that just a recipe for disaster?

 

Thank you all for your very quick, thoughtful replies!

I don't agree with taking a 'break' . I think that breaks always lead to a break up. However, it sounds to me like YOU want to experience more... maybe your guy doesn't want to?

personally I think its good for people to do a little soul searching, I think everyone needs to have a long term relationship, have a couple of flings and everyone needs to be dumped and left heartbroken... its good for us!

So i understand your concerns.

Even now at 31, i'm glad i'm not married yet.. I'm glad i've had holiday romances, long term relationships, short term relationships, and flings... I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

Thats how I feel!

Depending on his desires and attitude I don't see an issue with it. I met my wife when I was 21 and haven't been with any other woman ever, that was over 20 years ago. If anything it was more of an issue with her than me. I liked what I had and had no reason to pursue anything else. She has brought up many times over the years, "How do you know?". To which I usually replied along the lines of "I don't need to know". She's always been anything I desire. Sex through the years has been up and down, as it is in any long term relationship, but for the most part it rocks.

We're breaking up now but it's not due to this issue. As a matter of fact it's something I've always been proud of and that gives me more confidence.

Oh what BS on his part in my belief. It's normal to a degree to question if there is something better out there, is this it, etc. but what he's doing is a bit retarded. Sleeping with other women won't do much for him. Same goes for women. I've known guys and girls who have slept with 60+ people and they're always miserable when it comes to relationships. They get in that rut of is there something better, etc.

 

Sleeping with others won't do much for him except get him "experience" and all the other BS that society and people perpetuate these days.

Reread the post. You must have misinterpreted.

We've had threads aplenty about being upset at an SO's extensive sexual past.

Everybody who knows me knows I am no member to the "Save it for Marriage" crowd. But to dump a guy because he hasn't raped and pillaged the countryside? Well, THAT'S a new one.

Sorry, I'm with debaser_wolf, it sounds grossly unfair to the guy. And it DOES sound like you are fishing for an excuse to dump him.

To assume that he will be a future cheater based on what he MIGHT think he missed out on is also grossly unfair. It sounds like that Tom Cruise movie where he is arrested on the belief that he will kill somebody in the future.

You're condemning this guy on something you THINK he MIGHT do someday. Please, just show me where this is a good idea.

My husband had one gf before me who he had sex with twice...and we have been together for 20 years, and I got to train him my way A good reason to STAY together.

It's true that some people do wonder what it would be like to have sex with other people if they've only had sex with one person (I have), but it doesn't mean they'd leave you for it. It's knowing that a relationship with the person you love is more important than random sex.

We've had threads aplenty about being upset at an SO's extensive sexual past.

 

Everybody who knows me knows I am no member to the "Save it for Marriage" crowd. But to dump a guy because he hasn't raped and pillaged the countryside? Well, THAT'S a new one.

 

Sorry, I'm with debaser_wolf, it sounds grossly unfair to the guy. And it DOES sound like you are fishing for an excuse to dump him.

 

To assume that he will be a future cheater based on what he MIGHT think he missed out on is also grossly unfair. It sounds like that Tom Cruise movie where he is arrested on the belief that he will kill somebody in the future.

 

You're condemning this guy on something you THINK he MIGHT do someday. Please, just show me where this is a good idea.

I don't think she is talking about raping and pillaging... she is talking about a guy who has ZERO experience.. and i think its unfair to put the dude int hat category too.

No, that's a horrible reason to end a relationship.

Yep I agree.

My fiance (at 25) had never had sex with another female and had never really been in a "serious" relationship where they had discussed their futures together so i'm the first in all of that. Do I worry about him wanting to experience others later on? Not really. Some or even most may wonder what it's like however not all like another poster said.

Victoria is right. I'm my boyfriend's first for everything, and now he's 22. He had opportunities to date other girls before, but never wanted to. I've asked him if he regrets not really dating other girls before me, but he always just says that he was waiting for the right person. Maybe this is your bf? He knows that you're the one for him, and he doesn't want to play the field, just for the sake of it.

While I don't see it accross the board with my couple friends who hooked up at a young age... it is something that I've seen in the past year form a number of them.. I have 3 or 4 coupled friends that have experienced this in the last year. Now at 31/32, they are wondering if they should have been with more people in their twenties.

They never said this at 22/24/25 or 27.. at that time they claimed they 'just knew'... now its changing, now that they've been married for a while.

Everyone things, "WE are different. WE have something special"

Well so does everyone else.

Of course there are other couples that have been together for years and i've never heard these concerns.

Plenty of people who have had lots of prior experience before getting married end up sampling other goods once married. Just because your boyfriend has had no other experience besides you doesn't mean he is a ticking time bomb waiting to cheat. Some people just don't feel the need to test drive others because they are in love and view sex as a loving act rather than simply down to a physical act. So it would be a silly idea to break up with someone just because you are the only person they slept with.

Statistics (for whatever they're worth) seem to say that those who get married later in life are more likely to stay together, implying that they've looked around before settling down.

Statistics never gave a reason.