So I dunno, but I think I might be goin to jail

I don't even know why I'm posting this...So for the past week I met this girl online. She lives in NC and we've been corresponding back and forth, sending texts by phone and talking. We were "dating" I guess. Her profile said she was 16, but she put that she was 17. Anyway, I sent her some sexy pics of me..not nude, umm..in my boxers and apparently her stepdad made a surprise visit to her place (she lives on her own) and I guess he saw the texts that I sent and the pics that i sent to her e-mail and called the NC police and on turn they called the law enforcement over here and I guess I need to talk to this person about a "soliciting a minor" thing. I read the sex laws in my state and in NC and it said that age of consent is 16. I dunno, I've been up all night and I'm pretty freaked out about this. It wasn't like I was gonna go over there or send any more pix. I guess I should have known better. So I dunno I think I might be sent away

Don't worry ! Just say to them that you were under the impression that she was 17! Because that is what she told you! Or speak to the girl! Keep the texts and say that she was leading you on!

her dad already contacted the police and her stepdad told me not to talk to her anymore and the iowa police already called my phone wanting to talk to me,but i didn't call them back. I'm so stupid for doing this

I would contact a lawyer - perhaps a friend of a friend knows someone who will cut his rates for you if that's what you need.

Being a man of 28, even if you thought she was 17, don't you think that is way too young? She is a minor and you are an adult.

And you have no idea if she lives alone. I'll bet you one hundred bucks she doesn't. Not many 16 year olds are out on their own and if they were, their stepdad would not likely be concerned about their text conversations.

Even tho the age of consent is 16 in NC I think actually soliciting a minor, which is what this offense would be, is different. I am not sure, but I think I heard that somewhere.

I hope lessons are learned. I can tell you right now if you were sending pics of yourself like that to my daughter, even if you thought she was 17, I'd throw the book at you, so get yourself a lawyer.

I know you are already upset, but this is a serious offense. You say you would never have actually met her, but don't they all say that?

Bataya33 I guess you were right all along about meeting people online that are 18 or around that age

she is on her own living with her friends and yeah I never met her.

I'm such a dumb***

Why on earth would you be talking to a girl who was 16 or 17? It sure would make your life a lot easier if you only talked to girls who were at least 18.

Why on earth would you be talking to a girl who was 16 or 17? It sure would make your life a lot easier if you only talked to girls who were at least 18.

sigh..yeah I've talked to girls who are 18 and older too. I dunno. She actually gave a crap about me and cared about me. I have no clue. i'm a mental case

she is on her own living with her friends and yeah I never met her.

 

I'm such a dumb***

But how do you know she lives with friends if you never met her? Young people on line can be quite convincing.

Officials are really cracking down on this soliciting minors online thing. I would suggest moving forward you not send anything even remotely sexually suggestive until you feel you have some pretty good proof that the person is well of age. Just hope she does not have aggressive parents.

My son is 19 and him talking to a 16 or 17 year old line IMO would be more acceptable, but I have even given him some stern lectures about chat rooms or myspace (which he is always on) and to not say anything out of line to a girl if he does not know her true age because he can land himself in hot water if he does.

Well, I am not going to say "I told you so" - I don't think the real problem is her age - it is that you considered yourself to be "dating" and considered there to be some kind of un-platonic "caring" before you met in person and sent a stranger those pictures - it's more the mindset you had - that she was not a complete stranger but indeed someone you were "dating" that got you into a difficult situation than her age.

Meeting someone on line should involve meeting in person ASAP - and my guess is that an underage girl is not going to be doing that as easily as an adult - which would be a first indication that she is underage - my guess is also that asking an underage girl to meet you where there is no dating connotation or s_xual connotation is not against the law so that could be another safeguard.

Having said that, yes, I would stick to women over 21, where you get a home phone number and a last name so you can look up the address and/or a work phone number where the person answers the phone and it is obvious it is a real job for an adult. You can do a birthdate search on a free web site too.

Good luck.

But how do you know she lives with friends if you never met her? Young people on line can be quite convincing.

 

Officials are really cracking down on this soliciting minors online thing. I would suggest moving forward you not send anything even remotely sexually suggestive until you feel you have some pretty good proof that the person is well of age. Just hope she does not have aggressive parents.

her stepdad already called their local police and they talked to i guess the law enforcement over here

I'm so screwed and I'm gonna pay for it

I have to disagree with your first paragraph, because the real problem IS her age. If he considers himself "dating" with online relationships with people he never met that might not be all that healthy, but it is not illegal nor will it land him in legal trouble and is no one's business but his own even if it might seem odd to some. If she were of age he could consider himself in love, dating, whatever, it wouldn't be hurting anyone but himself.

I guess having had teenagers and being a mother myself I can't be quite as non chalant about it.

I think what is going to be a problem for him is that he still pursued her even thinking she was 17. The officials are going to say at 28 years of age you have to NOT send sexual content knowing the girl is a minor.

I am not trying to be harsh here, but this is a serious offense in most states. I definitely suggest getting a lawyer asap.

I agree - and revise my opinion - the point I was trying to make was that the age wasn't all of the problem - my guess is that chatting with someone underage about non-sexual things - video games or music for example - is not illegal. I don't think he should be sending any stranger those types of pictures on line and the problem is that from other posts it seems he believes he is in a romantic relationship prior to meeting. That exacerbates the problem of "age" - but yes, I totally agree that here the main problem was her age.

I don't know any affordable lawyers and the bad part is..my mom doesn't even know and I live with her. I'm gonna be sent away for sure and i'll probably be gone for a long time.

I'm so immature for my age, I should have known better

You need to "man up", contact the local police, excecise your right to an attorney, don't speak until one is appointed, talk to your court appointed attorney (if you can't afford one on your own, which I would suggest you selling everything you have to get your own), and get moving forward with this.

If you can afford an attorney, get off the net and call one now.

Maybe there is a legal aid office in your area - look it up on the internet - if you qualify based on income then it would be free. I would not take any advice you get on this forum as "legal" advice no matter how well intentioned or thoughtful.

Yikes. I guess I agree with everyone here -posting to someone underage (or under 21 even, when you're in your mid-twenties)...BIG mistake. And sending dubious/sexual material to anyone when you've not met them and don't know their age...even BIGGER mistake.

That said - I don't think it's as bad as you're worrying about. You've never met her, the chat wasn't too bad, you weren't hoping to meet up with her. Just going to have to be face up to this one, and take it on the chin. But I think you'll get at most a warning.

my stomach hurts and I'm like tearing up cuz I'm so mad at myself.

I mean she's 1,000 of miles away and it's not like i was gonna go there and see her right away, but even then I guess I sent her pix of me in boxers, not to intend to like have sex with her, but as a "intimate" kinda thing, but I guess I was wrong

Don't worry ! Just say to them that you were under the impression that she was 17! Because that is what she told you! Or speak to the girl! Keep the texts and say that she was leading you on!

Elmer, it is odd you are schooling him on how to get out of this when you just posted something about being concerned for your own underage friend talking to older men in chat rooms.

my stomach hurts and I'm like tearing up cuz I'm so mad at myself.

 

I mean she's 1,000 of miles away and it's not like i was gonna go there and see her right away, but even then I guess I sent her pix of me in boxers, not to intend to like have sex with her, but as a "intimate" kinda thing, but I guess I was wrong

Sometimes it takes this kind of fear and drastic actions to stop doing something. You may get out of this with a warning if this has never happened before, but this feeling in your stomach and fear will hopefully help you make better choices in the future.

well, this has never happened before and after talkin to my friend about it last night, I couldn't sleep at all

What I don't understand is with all the news programs on every day about the stings, why on earth a man is still willing to risk this. I think you should get right into counseling to deal with the fallout. It's not going to be easy to get over this, and I do think you have a problem if you were chatting with a teenage girl at 28.

Admit your guilt, and pay the price. This is life.

Man... Call a lawyer, this is your life your talking about here.

In my opinion a man of your age should not even be speaking with a 16 or 17 year old girl. I would flip out if that were my son or daughter... Thats real.