So I dunno, but I think I might be goin to jail

[JadedStar]

I guess I am just a paranoid person when it comes to older men chatting with minors, so much so that I would not even want a man of 28 online chatting wtih my 16 year old daughter about video games or music. I'd be too afraid that there was an ulterior motive (and truthfully there normally is) that would one day be revealed. I just always err'd on the side of conservative with stuff like that to keep my kids safe.

 

Bottomline is adults should avoid chatting with minors on the internet regardless of content. I do not even like PM'ing with minors unless it is in direct response to a post they created on a forum that I was helping them with and I am female. I don't want to create any illusion of impropriety.

[musicguy]

I have just ruined my whole entire life because of my stupidity

[Miss Firecracker]

Yes, if you want to look at it this way, then you have.

 

Or you can decide not to let it.

[southerngirl]

Nah your life isnt ruined... Consider this a lesson learned and dont do it again.

[Trooper5]

What police department called you? Remember the officers name on the message? They ALWAYS leave a message for you to contact them back, and you need to get off this forum right now, look for an attorney, take stuff to a pawn shop, borrow money, and get moving.

 

If the cops called you, and they REALLY want to talk to you, they will be at your door in a few hours.

 

Now, that said, I don't think your in anywhere as much trouble as you think you are. What you did is wrong, and your kinda lucky you got ahold of the father you did as most fathers would be road tripping to Iowa right now and you wouldn't know it.

 

Anyway, my point. Get off the net, get it in gear, face up to what you did. Sometimes advice needs to be given like you are taking off a band-aid, rip it off all at once and it hurts really bad for a few seconds, or tug at it, like your doing, and let it hurt for a week.

[musicguy]

I deleted the message from my phone because I thought that it was a prank, cuz I've had issues with people calling my phone and doing that. So I'm pretty sure that the person is gonna call back sometime today I would guess

[JadedStar]

I agree. get of the internet unless it is to search for an attorney and yes, you are lucky the stepdad didn't get in the car and come looking for you.

 

This I am sure won't ruin your life, but you do need to take some steps at this point to ensure you don't get the book thrown at you.

 

I know it is easier to sit in sorrow and regret, but you need to find a lawyer and if you don't have the money, start thinking aobut how you can get it...borrow it, take out a loan, something.

[annie24]

agreed, get yourself to a lawyer right now. scrape together the money anyway you can. or, call a free legal services place, but I would really recommend talking to a lawyer at this point.

 

as far as I know, you can't be quiet and demand free legal representation from the police until you've been arrested, and they haven't arrested you yet.

[lovelyc]

I don't have to much pity on you about this because at 28, you should have known better..When you reach a certain age (mature/not) the pity goes away ...However Stop beating yourself up about it...

 

I agree with everyone else as it should not have happened but since it did...now is the time to take action and protect yourself by calling a lawyer and getting the help that you need...

 

I'm sorry for you but if I knew I were in that kind of trouble, I would not be just sitting at home calling myself a jerk...I would be trying to figure out how to get myself out of it...

[Dako]

Musicguy

 

I can see you're scared and know you blew it bigtime, but right now you need a lawyer.

[TheFoglifter]

I love how step-daddy snoops just enough to find pictures sent to his angel, but NOT enough to find out she is seducing guys in chat rooms. There needs to be more blame placed on these girls who probably act this way because they know that the law will protect them.

 

One of the difficulties in these cases is to prove intent. If the stepdad hadn't found out, do you think she'd have sent you pictures back? If you guys had talked for a while, do you think you WOULD have ended up meeting? In FBI cases of entrapment, that is usually the deciding factor. If you WOULDN'T have gone through with the crime had the agent not goated you on, then its entrapment. If tis likely you'd have done it anyway, then its not entrapment.

 

Of course since she wasn't an agent, that doesn't apply.

 

Its good for you that you weren't nude. As wrong as it is, everyone will take the girl's side. Best of luck.

[JadedStar]

I love how step-daddy snoops just enough to find pictures sent to his angel, but NOT enough to find out she is seducing guys in chat rooms. There needs to be more blame placed on these girls who probably act this way because they know that the law will protect them.

 

We do not know what step dad said to this girl. She may very well have gotten one heck of a lecture and blame. The dad didn't come dragging musicguy out of his house by the collar so for all we know he is understanding the girl has some responsibility. You are assuming quite a bit here.

 

And yes, the girl WILL and SHOULD have the law and parents on her side because that is what should separate kids from adults. The adults should KNOW better. YOu cannot expect kids to make the right decisions, that is why they are supposed to be under guardianship until legal age.

 

It is easy for an older man to manipulate a young teenage girl so to suggest that her side should not be more heavily considered is grossly unfair.

 

As I mentioned in a previous post, my son is 19. And even tho he is still young and goofy, if he were to sexually chat wtih and send pics to a girl he knows is a minor i will definitely let him have it as will the law. He knows better and is older than she, and also has had me tell him it is wrong. So if he got himself caught up in that, he has to pay the price. there is no way he'd get off with an excuse of "she seduced me". Bull. You have to walk away from a minor in that instance. He has to learn young you don't think wtih the head in your pants.

[annie24]

it's not a matter of taking "the girl's side." it's a matter of being an adult and knowing better than to approach minors. it would be the same issue if a 28 year old woman approached a 16 year old guy online. yes, there have been plenty of cases like that in the news. it's best for adults to date adults, so they don't get into legal problems.

 

the bottom line is that musicguy needs to 1) stick to 18 and overs from now on, and 2) contact a lawyer and figure out what is going on, especially since multiple states (iowa and NC) are involved, that complicates the law in this matter.

[JadedStar]

the bottom line is that musicguy needs to 1) stick to 18 and overs from now on, and 2) contact a lawyer and figure out what is going on, especially since multiple states (iowa and NC) are involved, that complicates the law in this matter.

 

True. These are the only two points at this time that matter.

[Trooper5]

When they question him, or anyone in any sort of a criminal case that may go to court, they will HAVE to read him his Miranda rights. In the Miranda rights you will be asked if you would like an attorney appointed for you and this is when you will say yes. When they actually place him "under arrest" is dictated by municipal laws and jurisdictions. You can give someone their rights and question them in a crime without arresting them.

 

One of the problems I have seen in the military with new boots is problems similiar to this. A guy pops into the Army cus he gets in some trouble, thinking if he is in the Army he will get out of it, and next thing ya know, BAM, he has the MP's handing him over to the State Police because he lied on his military entrance papers.

 

This is a more common occurrence than not. You still gotta face the music.

[southerngirl]

ARe you sure it was even the police that called you? Could it be her step dad trying to scare you?

[fnlyfrei]

I love how step-daddy snoops just enough to find pictures sent to his angel, but NOT enough to find out she is seducing guys in chat rooms. There needs to be more blame placed on these girls who probably act this way because they know that the law will protect them.

 

Yeah Fog..blame the kid. The poor almost 30-year-old man was being seduced ! Kind of like those 16 year olds who wear suggestive clothing around the malls...they are ASKING for it ! Teases!

 

Firstly, yes, her parents need to monitor her internet use. Perhaps now they have learned a lesson, and they will...(maybe doubtful since she is living maybe with friends...but we hope for the best.)

 

BUT

 

The fact remains that he sent pictures on his own accord to a teenager. I am sure she did not "lure" or "entrap" him, (the little vamp) Even in online dating, men have sent me unsolicted pictures of themselves...that I never wanted or never asked for. And even if she sent him pictures and he saved them on his computer and she is 16...that could be construed as child pornography...an even bigger offense. If a kid took his or her clothes off in front of you and begged for it.(seducing poor men as you stated)..you are still accountable for the choice you make. (the wise choice is RUN)

 

Children are not wholly responsible for their choices, adults ARE. Fog, you are blaming the victim. Maybe when you have children you will understand....they make mistakes and you cannot control their every action..and we all hope that to some degree adults will not mix themselves up in those mistakes. That is why there are laws protecting children and punishing adults, to keep the line clearly defined.

[Stu147]

Yeah Fog..blame the kid. The poor almost 30-year-old man was being seduced ! Kind of like those 16 year olds who wear suggestive clothing around the malls...they are ASKING for it ! Teases!

 

I am sure she did not "lure" or "entrap" him, (the little vamp)

 

Sorry to interject here, but was the sarcasm necessary? TheFoglifter made his point. No need to condescend to him, just make your own point.

[fnlyfrei]

Sorry to interject here, but was the sarcasm necessary? TheFoglifter made his point. No need to condescend to him, just make your own point.

 

I commend you for defending him, but I also felt a need to defend children.

 

My bioligical father died in prison for molesting HUNDREDS of children...so yes, Fogs sarcastic comment about adult men being seduced by children does really bother me. I was not condesending. I was making a point.

 

Thanks for YOUR opinion.

[Stu147]

I commend you for defending him, but I also felt a need to defend children.

 

My bioligical father died in prison for molesting HUNDREDS of children...so yes, Fogs sarcastic comment about adult men being seduced by children does really bother me. I was not condesending. I was making a point.

 

Thanks for YOUR opinion.

 

I am not offering an opinion on this thread. I have my own thoughts on the matter. I am not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone's posts in this thread. I was just making a standalone point about the use of sarcasm. It wasn't necessary in my opinion.

 

That being said, I understand now that this is a very personal issue to you and I better understand your reaction. I didn't seek to antagonise you and if I did I apologise.

 

For what it's worth, I worked on a Children & Families team for the Social Services in the UK which dealt with all issues concerning child protection. So I am equally in favour of defending children, having encountered some of the worst evils perpetrated against them.

 

Again, apologies and no hard feelings.

[JadedStar]

I am not offering an opinion on this thread. I have my own thoughts on the matter. I am not agreeing or disagreeing with anyone's posts in this thread. I was just making a standalone point about the use of sarcasm. It wasn't necessary in my opinion.

 

That being said, I understand now that this is a very personal issue to you and I better understand your reaction. I didn't seek to antagonise you and if I did I apologise.

 

For what it's worth, I worked on a Children & Families team for the Social Services in the UK which dealt with all issues concerning child protection. So I am equally in favour of defending children, having encountered some of the worst evils perpetrated against them.

 

Again, apologies and no hard feelings.

 

True, sarcasm is not needed, but Fog's post had quite a bit of sarcasm as well in referring to the young girl as "daddy's angel" and assuming she seduced him. We don't know that to be true at all.

 

either/or, i have nothing against foglifter and he is a forum friend of mine, I was just disagreeing with his statements as it was full of sarcastic assumptions.

[Stu147]

True, sarcasm is not needed, but Fog's post had quite a bit of sarcasm as well in referring to the young girl as "daddy's angel" and assuming she seduced him. We don't know that to be true at all.

 

either/or, i have nothing against foglifter and he is a forum friend of mine, I was just disagreeing with his statements as it was full of sarcastic assumptions.

 

Ok, point taken. It was not my place to comment and I will not hijack this thread further.

 

No offence taken, thanks for your comments on the issue.

 

Oh, and nice to meet you.

[southerngirl]

Yall all debating aside I think we should be trying to help our forum friend musicguy.

 

Have you called a lawyer yet man? They are bound legally not to share what you tell them in confidentiality. Alot of them will give a free consultation too. Besides, phone calls are free.

[JadedStar]

Ok, point taken. It was not my place to comment and I will not hijack this thread further.

 

No offence taken, thanks for your comments on the issue.

 

Oh, and nice to meet you.

 

Nice to "meet" you as well.

 

And since musicguy has not been around awhile let's hope he is getting his assets together to pull for a lawyer.

[musicguy]

ARe you sure it was even the police that called you? Could it be her step dad trying to scare you?

 

I'm pretty sure it was someone in law enforcement