Girls; Your currently dating / in love with guy who makes $60k, but your ex...

Girls; Your currently dating / in love with guy who makes $60k, but your ex , whom you still harbour a flame for makes $300k a year. You know your ex would take you back and you'd take him back, but your passionatly in love with current boyfriend. You are all three at that age and maturiaty where you are dating for keeps (more than likely anyone you all date for a year or so will turn into marrige). Question, how much weight do you think the huge differance in income plays in your relationship direction verses the head over heals passionate love you currently have with your current bau ? What is the saying...love blinds all, or somthing like that?

I'd be interested in thoughts, but I'll go ahead and assume that "every person is diffrent" , and there are those who think this is irellevent or a politically incorrect question, so that you do not need to respond if you are going to share those feelings

Thanks for sharing

Okay one, if you marry for money, prepare to live a horrible, meaningless life. That's not love, that's giving yourself to greed. I would not respect someone like that, take for instance, The Great Gatsby.

Daisy, (A main character in the book) was married to a rich man. She had been dating another man, but he was poor. The man that was poor left for war (WW1) when he returned Daisy was not waiting for him, in fact, she only married the rich man because of his money. She realizes that she was miserable without the poor man.

In the end, the moral of the story is the corruption of the American Dream, but I think it could be applied in this situation. Love > Greed. There's just no more to be said. Cheers~

If you are a gold digger go for the money.

Or if You dont think karma will come and get you for breaking your guys heart for some dollars.

If you are trying to 'buy' your happiness or future, I think you are in the wrong mindset here. You should be worrying about buying pants, not a partner.

I agree with layword as I think everyone probably does. I should have added in my preface that a reply should consider the reality of one must be responsible in a choice for a mate. The idea that a poor man is somehow more virtuos and a wealthy man is evil is not really what I'm getting at. Both guys are great guys. But it would be irresposible to marry a guy with no job, no ambition and no plans to provide for his future children. It is an oversimplification to use the cliche "marry for money" in the scinario i'm proposing. Where does it stop. Marry someone just for love even though his work ethic is such that having children would be a finacial and humanitarian disaster. Im not saying that is the case with $60k a year, Im simply pointing out that the words naive and unrealistic idealist come to mind if you take providership out of responsible descion making

Money wouldn't even be a factor in my choice. You decide on job offers based on money, not life mates.

If I'd leave my boyfriend for my flame, then I didn't love him at all. If I did love him, then the money wouldn't factor in at that level. On the other hand, if the guy was only making $20K or something (you know, that you cannot REASONABLY live off of) then I have to say I wouldn't be dating him.

So it's not about more money once I reached the point where we were at "comfortable lifestyle". And by comfortable I don't mean extravagant.

Both guys are great guys. But it would be irresposible to marry a guy with no job, no ambition and no plans to provide for his future children.

60K isn't poor, that's fairly well off! Or at least it is where I come from. It's an amount to be financially stable with.

If we're going to factor in financial responsibility here you'd also need to ask how secure the job of the guy who earns 300k is and whether he uses his money responsibly.

If we're going to factor in fincial responsibility here you'd also need to ask how secure the job of the guy who earns 300k is and whether he uses his money responsibly.

Yeah, good point Mr Mister! And it is highly likely the guy who earns more money will dump you for somebody younger and prettier when you get older.

I agree with the person that said over a certain amount you can live happily anyway. I would go with my heart, regardless of the money (put it out of your head) and see how i feel. Having said that though, i wouldn't settle for a dud prospect, no matter how much i loved them. You have to be pragmatic... but i've always believed, if there is a spark there, you can start a fire. If there is not, and you settle for something as menial as money, you will never experience a flame.

Just my thoughts.

The person that makes 300k a year, what type of job does he do?

Who really makes 300k a year and doing what?

Someone who makes that much probably doesn't have much free time to devote to a family. The family would have all the nice trappings but an absent spouse and parent.

60k a year isn't broke.

I find the more money someone makes the more shady things they have had to do to get it.

Karma is nonsense. There are plenty of rotten people in this world doing fine. Sometimes there really isn't justice.

I know wealth and status is really important to some people but to others it is not a priority.

I made a very decent living and really don't care what my man makes as I don't need him to provide for me.

60k? The average yearly wage in Canada is only about 25k! And this guy is poor?

Ignoring the dollar values, the amount a person makes would not factor much, as long as he:

1) has a job (already been down the no-job spouse route. After over a year, there is usually a bloody reason for the lack).

2) is able to comfortably support himself.

That is all. So if he has no money problems and would contribute to our future household, then it does not matter if he makes 20k, 60k or 300k.

Hi

Money is not a factor because nowadays woman is no longer depends on men for money unless she is a homemaker.

Marry the person you have passion with. Because what if the person who make 600K go bankrupt, would you stay with him through the hardship?

I doubt that a gold digger would stay with a bankrupt. She might dump him and find another gold mine.

Frankly, it is sad that some would marry someone if he is successful, have a house and etc. When all the things reverse to zero, he is nothing to her. His value depends on his networth.

Be realistic. Money is definitely a factor.

wealth = stability = good for family. It's not always true but it's the subconscious association women make.

Women will always try to figure out how much money you make. They look at all sorts of subtle hints. Or they just ask you outright "what do you do" and disguise it as small talk. They want to know up front what they're getting and if you're worth their time.

I do well myself, and make a point not to explain what I do or where I work until I know someone well. Both men and women. I prefer dating/associating with people who are well established, usually older.

60k is well above average in the US. Its enough to afford a decent home, car, some luxuries,and feed a few mouths. Unless you're in some major city (NY, SF, etc).

Maybe I'm jaded because I've witnessed/experienced it myself. Girls please come up with some counterarguments...

I am not looking for a sugar daddy, but I would ask a guy about his job as small talk. Why? Because that is what he does for much of his waking hours, and a big chunk of his life. What does he do all day? What parts does he like or dislike? Why did he choose that profession? I ask these things because I am curious about him and because I think talking about it shows me more about him as an individual.

I would, in turn, have no problems talking about my own job. However, if someone comes out and asks me point-blank about my salary, then I would assume that he is more interested in being supported than knowing about myself.

I don't care about his salary - just that he can support himself.