n83 Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Hey folks, I have a problem and I was wondering if any women could relate to this ... I have never been comfortable with oral sex (receiving, not giving). Part of it is my own insecurities (ie. Does it smell bad? Taste bad? Did I shave properly??) etc.. and I haven't been able to get over that. Didn't help any when about 7 years ago, my male friend was telling me that most of the girls he's gone down on had little pieces of toilet paper stuck down there!! Seven years after he tells me this, that gross/terrifying thought pops into my head .. during, you know ... and I always get uncomfortable and make the guy stop. As if my other concerns weren't enough... I wish I could get over this and just be more comfortable with my body, but alas, I just can't relax enough to enjoy it. Can anyone relate to this, or offer any tips/suggestions? Link to comment
helpme2 Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I don't really worry about it much, but I tend to take a shower before sex so it's probably my version of your insecurity. Maybe you could get a mirror and take a look, it's probably more attractive than you realize, but anyway, I hear that women don't like the looks of penises (I do, but I am weird) and that doesn't stop them. I also heard that women smell themselves more than men can smell us even if they are that close so if it doesn't smell bad to you it probably is okay, and if it does it's probably still okay. did any of that make sense? Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Hmmmm...it's funny but I read that a "normal" and clean woman should smell either a little like sour milk (I know WEIRD)...or there should be NO smell at all. I guess you could always do the "smell' test....LOL. If you can smell yourself...probably best to get in the shower. Also...I think your diet is important too....whatever goes in.. comes out. So perhaps spicy or bitter foods/beverages might alter your natural "taste" too. Just a thought. Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Oh! I feel your pain on that one..... For those of you familiar with me, you know I am pretty sexually outspoken.... But to tell the truth, in all of my experience, I have NEVER let a man go down on me.... (girl.. yes, but man..no) Seriously, I mean... A mans parts are made of beautiful clean lines, perfectly identifiable, easily stimulated parts; and men seem to have very little inhibition about grabbing onto a handful of hair and using you like a toilet plunger.... (hee hee, i like that) But a woman..... we all look different, are made different, smell different, get wet differently, and have TOTALLY (well, save the one) different spots that we like to be touched... and so many men are so picky about whether or not you choose to have a non-english speaker slather burning hot wax onto your nether regions and the hair painfully torn out. Why wouldn't we be self-conscious? And being as old as I am, two children later, divorced, in a new relationship with a very sexually liberated man and STILL having never gone through the experience..... I just don't see myself letting it happen. Tie me up... sure. Slap me around a little...sure. Gag me, duct tape me, and hold a pillow over my face while you call me names and pleasure me...you bet. But get your face anywhere near my junk, and we may have issues.... LOL Link to comment
valiantv Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Regarding the toilet paper thing, why not simply give yourself a thorough clean? Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Hi n83 I can completely identify! Couple of things - if a man is genuinely enthusiastic about you and women in general, he gets off on going down on you. His, erm, excitement is catching, and eventually puts me at my ease. But I need to feel confident about his finding this arousing, so it has to be with the right guy, because I find it very intimate. Secondly - and I'm not proud of this, but thought I'd be honest - have a drink or two, get relaxed/wrecked, and just go for it! (I have to already be comfortable with someone to sleep with them, but drink always helps the first sexual thang in my opinion...!) Thirdly - just TELL him you're shy about him going down on you. If he's into you, he'll *love* the thought being the one to give you a mind-blowing orgasm through oral sex, and showing you what it's like to be with a real man, lol! Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 LMAO Vangs.... Get their face near your "junk"??? Classic. Can I ask why you ahve a problem with a guy doing it and not a woman?? Just morbid curiosity Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Ummm.. probably because before the kiddos when I did my foray into chicks, the women in question aggressivly wanted to perfrom oral. I assumed that being limited with the lack of male appendage, that other means of gratification were more paramount.... (lol, that sounds so technical) And with the 3 men that I have been with (before Trevor), they were so sexually lazy that as long as I demonstrated my lack of gag reflex, it wouldn't even occur to them to reciprocate... So the once or twice a half-hearted attempt was made and I acted a little squemish, they backed off and never offereed again.... AND then I had kids.... DUM DUM DUMMMMM...... So now I am mortified that the junk in my trunk looks more like withered salad greens than a delicate flower... lol Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I have issues with feeling comfortable sexually, too. I talked with my therapist about it and she suggested that I spend time alone in my room naked so that I get used to my own body. She also suggested that I masturbate, but I already do this. lol Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 LOL Vang......... I gotta give it to you...you ARE an honest one. Gotta love it Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Raingate..that guy needs some education in oral... ROAST BEEF????????? Umm what street corner has he been picking up his women??? Sheesh.... Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 LOL!! Well, he can put his roast beef with my withered salad greens and we can have a whole meal... There are probably a few here that can offer the fish course too... And LB: thanks for the compliment.... I am learning to love myself, and the only way for me to do that is to be totally honest with the thoughts in my own head... (and the junk in my trunk) Link to comment
n83 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 Wow guys, you're awesome.. thanks for the support.. as for showering ... I don't know that showering gets rid of the smell, it's just .. THERE. It's not an "I haven't showered today" smell, it's the "I have a vagina" smell.. I'm just.. not a fan.. So now I am mortified that the junk in my trunk looks more like withered salad greens than a delicate flower... lol LOL VandGsmom - You totally crack me up... I'm glad to know I'm not hte only one!!!!! One of my guy friends wont go near a female's "junk" with his mouth. He said he can have sex with her but if she wants that then its off. He says it looks like "roast beef" which doesnt help with my insecurities. raingate - OMG I seriously am not kidding, this guy I know has also described it as "roast beef" lookin... WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?!?!? Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I swear I am NOT the one with the "fish"...LMAO Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 My hidden * * * * * is so going to get turned on when cooking roast beef from now on...lol Link to comment
n83 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 Roast beef with hair all over it?! Link to comment
n83 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 I have also heard it described (when shaved) as lookin like a hardshell taco... So of course, this isn't helping my situation any ... Secondly - and I'm not proud of this, but thought I'd be honest - have a drink or two, get relaxed/wrecked, and just go for it! (I have to already be comfortable with someone to sleep with them, but drink always helps the first sexual thang in my opinion...!) Ugh... Even tipsy, I shy away. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Hmmmmmmjust curious what the GUYS think about this whole subject??? Guys???? Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I have also heard it described (when shaved) as lookin like a hardshell taco... LOL!!! What about a puffy taco? OR a Gordita? Cheese Enchilada? Ok, I think I understand the problem now. We just need to remember to feed these men BEFORE sex... they seem to be hungry. Maybe it will help them keep their mind on the task at hand.... LOL... a new term... "Junk Food"... hee hee Link to comment
lost_status Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 LOL Im not a guy but I have recived oral, (how dumb did that sound LOL) from an inexpirenced guy and an expirenced one. From my expirence and the thing I get told by my male friends and over-sexually active friends is that most males LOVE giving oral. They say it doesnt matter how it looks, just make sure its clean. Serioulsy, men also have the same insecurities as us ladiess... its aslo about making sure the couple works on making eachother comfortable. Link to comment
rose2summer Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I don't feel comfortable with receiving either, I am more than happy to give but receiving I cringe, I am just as worried about the same things, My ex didn't help when he was like, I don't believe it's very conservative of us to have me do that to you, Well, he had no problem being on the receiving end, So, I am a bit turned off to the prospect in general, for NOW, Who knows how I will feel down the line, Cheers! Rose Link to comment
bcuzitwasfun Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 Hi all, I thoroughly enjoy giving oral to females. All the ones I've given it to seem to really enjoy it too. It has made them real happy! My rule of thumb: Never on the first date. Thanks bcuzitwasfun Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 See!!! I told you so. Now, if I offered you and hamburger and THEN asked you to go down on me... Link to comment
n83 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 I wish mine looked and smelled like a flower.. I don't particularly like the way it looks or smells.. i need sex therapy. Link to comment
n83 Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 COTTAGE CHEESE .. EWWW!! Can we not talk about cottage cheese right now?! Link to comment
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