jul-els Posted March 9, 2020 Share Posted March 9, 2020 Here is a link for reference to the situation. https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=563817 She got through the surgery with flying colors, which I was very relieved about. They then sent her to a skilled nursing facility for physical rehab. She wanted to go straight home which would have been a terrible idea and I was able to talk her into going to the SNR. She has been there for a week now, doing her therapy twice a day, six days a week. The initial prognosis was they'd be able to send her home within three to four weeks if everything went well. Today she called me and send they were taking her back to the hospital. She has an infection on her breast and they don't like the look of it. I just got this news from her a couple of hours ago. She said she'd call me as soon as she knows anything else, so I'm just waiting for her call at this point. I've been taking care of her dogs since she was admitted, going online to submit her payments on her bills, and generally looking after her house, which currently has two tenants in it and she's trying to rent a third room. I renewed her ad on the room a couple days ago and she's been getting calls on it and I am planning to meet with the applicants and set up and direct any moving in arrangements if we find a suitable applicant, collect the monies, open the house for them at move-in, etc. I was optimistic that she would be out in a couple more weeks, but now I'm back to being worried again. I just have to wait for her call and see what she says. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 I'm sorry. Do they have any idea what the problem is? Have your siblings stepped up? She is lucky to have you! Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 I'm sorry. Do they have any idea what the problem is? Have your siblings stepped up? She is lucky to have you! She said it's an infection in her breast. I don't know anything else about it at the moment. I made my brother and sister aware of it and my sister texted me back. My sister lives about a three hour drive away and has problems with her feet. She stayed about an hour closer to my mom for a week and was going to visit her everyday, but the drive was bothering her feet so much that she had to go back home before the week was up. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Ok, so they looked at her in the hospital and are sending her back to the SNF this afternoon. They wanted to re-admit her and do further testing, but she refused, of course. So...back to the drawing board... *roll eyes* Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Your mother is in good hands and closely monitored, jul-els. Try not to fret. You're a great daughter. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 I'm sorry to hear that, jul. Sending good vibes your way, and hoping it all gets resolved soon. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Duplicate post. Disregard. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Your mother is in good hands and closely monitored, jul-els. Try not to fret. You're a great daughter. That’s good to know since I’m her son! Lol! ;) You have no way of knowing that since my gender isn’t posted and my screen name does sound rather feminine. And I know I’m kinda touchy feely sometimes too, lol. Thank you for your support Cherylyn, I appreciate it! Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Your mother is in good hands and closely monitored, jul-els. Try not to fret. You're a great daughter. But it’s not her caretakers I’m worried about. It’s her. She refuses treatment at every turn. So frustrating. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 But it’s not her caretakers I’m worried about. It’s her. She refuses treatment at every turn. So frustrating. Oh yes, so much more helpful when they are stubborn. Ugh! Has you brother been in contact? Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Oh yes, so much more helpful when they are stubborn. Ugh! Has you brother been in contact? Yes, he replied to my text. He just said, “not much we can do” and he’s right. My sister similarly expressed her frustration. We can only do as much for her as she’s willing to accept. *shrug* Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 That’s good to know since I’m her son! Lol! ;) You have no way of knowing that since my gender isn’t posted and my screen name does sound rather feminine. And I know I’m kinda touchy feely sometimes too, lol. Thank you for your support Cherylyn, I appreciate it! Oh my! I'm sorry, jul-els. Oops, I meant you're a great son! Wow, that was embarrassing for me! My apologies! I hope your mother's infection heals and recovers properly and quickly and it's a relief that her surgery was a success! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 But it’s not her caretakers I’m worried about. It’s her. She refuses treatment at every turn. So frustrating. Old age seems to come with a second childhood and a refusal to believe they can’t do certain things anymore. I hope things heal quickly. I understand your frustration. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Oh my! I'm sorry, jul-els. Oops, I meant you're a great son! Wow, that was embarrassing for me! My apologies! I hope your mother's infection heals and recovers properly and quickly and it's a relief that her surgery was a success! No worries at all, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. :) Her infection has been ongoing for a very long time. She mentioned something to me about it a couple years ago at which time I recommended she see a doctor, but she refused. She’s very strong, tough and stubborn. Always has been. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Old age seems to come with a second childhood and a refusal to believe they can’t do certain things anymore. I hope things heal quickly. I understand your frustration. Oh this isn’t a new development, lol. She’s always been this way. “My way or the highway”. That’s my mom in a nutshell. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Ever try the reinforcement method? We do it with kids, like "if you clean your room we will go out for ice cream." So figure out what she really likes and bargain with her. Tell her you will take her out for pannekoek after her appointment. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Oh this isn’t a new development, lol. She’s always been this way. “My way or the highway”. That’s my mom in a nutshell. Both my in-laws are this way too . At the hospital my FIL kicks his food tray across the room if he doesn’t want it. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Ever try the reinforcement method? We do it with kids, like "if you clean your room we will go out for ice cream." So figure out what she really likes and bargain with her. Tell her you will take her out for pannekoek after her appointment. Well, that could be an option once she gets back home and depending on how much of her independence she will be able to maintain. Right now she's bed ridden in a nursing facility, so all I can do is hope she cooperates with the treatment being offered her there and that she gets back home relatively well again. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Both my in-laws are this way too . At the hospital my FIL kicks his food tray across the room if he doesn’t want it. Oh boy. That's cantankerous. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Oh boy. That's cantankerous. Yup, four nursing homes have refused to take him because of his temperament. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 I hope she continues to heal and recover! Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Glad she's being looking after and they've caught things. Just think, had the hip issue not come about, the other things would have gone untreated. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Yup, four nursing homes have refused to take him because of his temperament. My mom's not nasty or disrespectful like that. She's a nice person, but once she's decided how things are going to go, then that's how they're going to go, period. There is no amount of reasoning in the world that will make any difference. What can you do with that? Nothing. Nothing at all. Link to comment
jul-els Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Glad she's being looking after and they've caught things. Just think, had the hip issue not come about, the other things would have gone untreated. Well, they caught things, but they're being left untreated. Simply because my mother refuses treatment. That can't do something for her that she refuses to let them do. So, just like your signature says, it is what it is. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 Well, they caught things, but they're being left untreated. Simply because my mother refuses treatment. That can't do something for her that she refuses to let them do. So, just like your signature says, it is what it is. oh ouch. I did read that. My mom was stubborn too. Frustrating! We had the total role reversal where I became parental and a few times got down right angry and pushed her to the right thing like a parent would. . . not fun for sure. Link to comment
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