kusela

I think there are people who feel the same way you do. The fact that you have recognized your weaknesses is a sign that you will be able to overcome your confusions and frustrations about yourself if you just keep a positive outlook. Maybe you have many hang-ups. Why not see a psychiatrist or take some time alone to ponder and plan your future. There are times that I also feel useless or inadequate (like now) and I just don't know what I want and what to do with my life anymore. You are not alone. Try to let go of your past hurts so you will attain peace of mind. Count your blessings too. Good luck!

If you want to talk to her, don't hesitate to call her. Do it now!!! Don't worry about what will happen. Things will unfold by themselves. Good luck! -kusela

Dear CHARMED and OPTIMISTIC, Thank you very much for replying to my post! It was I who proposed the breakup after I felt rejected by my ex-boyfriend. It started with a fight (e-mail). He said that he could not accept my threats ("Don't you ever let me see you with another girl."). Actually, I did not threaten him. I was just jealous and asked for his reassurance. I tried calling him many times to say sorry but he didn't answer. We did not talk for over a week so I decided to break up with him through e-mail as he would hang up the phone. He said that he was thinking what to tell me but he doesn't know how to begin and end it but in the middle he wants to tell me that I was very sweet and nice girl and added that perhaps breaking up is the best thing to do. After our breakup, I still e-mailed him once in a while. Sometimes he would answer but most of the times not. in his last e-mail, he said that he realised that he also loves me. I always told him how much I love him even after our breakup. My reply? I said that he can still see me if he really wants to, and that is if God allows us to meet again. He did not reply anymore. I still love him and want him back but only if he really loves me still. Why won't he call me? Should I call him? Yes, I was the one who proposed the breakup but only after I felt dumped. Please tell me what you think.

Yes, it is strange! I hope you're okay now. I already erased all my past hurts but now I'm confused again. My ex-bf said that he realised that he loves me and that he is just confused with what to do. Good luck, Tolly!

I broke up with my boyfriend last month. Last week, I sent him e-mail asking for forgiveness for anything that may have caused him to hate me. I just want to move on without the excess baggage. He said that there is nothing to forgive but if ever there is, he already forgave me. I thanked him and didn't expect a reply. When I checked my mail the other day, I found out that he wrote back last weekend saying that he realised that he also loves me, wishes that i'd keep in touch, and that he is just confused with what to do. I e-mailed him back but there is no reply. I don't understand what his last message meant. WHAT DO YOU THINK? I'M NOW CONFUSED! PLEASE HELP!

We are more or less in the same situation but the difference is, it was my boyfriend who rejected me. I don't know what happened. We were planning for our future together but suddenly he changed and rejected me. He likes to think that it was my fault but actually it wasn't. He said that I am paranoid and rude because I asked him certain questions. Actually, I was just wondering what was happening because I could see all the changes. So that was it. It was I who proposed the break up through e-mail because he did not talk to me anymore. I still love him very much and I'm hurting so bad. The point is, if your ex-girlfriend still loves you, she wouldn't want to hurt you. But I'm not saying that your case is hopeless. If she comes back to you, you were really meant to be. You're not alone. Cheer up! It may not be as easy as erasing a pencil mark but you'll get over it in time.

Hi A-C! I remember my boyfriend once told me that he was happy because I allowed him to go out with his male friends. That night, he wanted me to go with him but I said I'd prefer to stay in the hotel (we were on vacation at that time). I just wanted him to enjoy with his friends. If there are "girl things", I know that there are some things also that guys like to do without their girlfriends. But it doesn't necessarily mean that we are cheating on our partners. How old is your girlfriend? When I was younger, I was very jealous. I wanted my (ex)boyfriend to be with me all the time. We had big fights. But as I matured, I realised that it's not good to dictate your boyfriend/girlfriend what he/she should do. When two people are in a relatiosnhip, they should not forget that they are still two separate individuals. You also need time away from each other. I applied what I learned to my latest relationship and my boyfriend was very happy. We differed in some beliefs and principles but we respected each other. We also learned from each other. Just try to explain to her what you feel and what you want. If she really loves you, she will understand. Good luck!

Thank you C-A! Your message is very enlightening. I knew from the beginning that a long-distance relationship is hard to keep but I was hoping that ours would survive. I was waiting for the day when we could reunite for good and build a wonderful future together. It's just very difficult.... From now on, I'll not worry about what will happen in the future anymore. Nobody knows. I'll just give my boyfriend time and space and live my life. I can still continue loving him without necessarily expecting him to love me back. It hurts. Pain is part and parcel of the love package. I wish you love and happiness!

Hello everyone! I've read almost all the stories that are posted on this site. We each have different problems and concerns but it is comforting to know that we share more or less the same feelings. I am 24 years old. My boyfriend is 30. We have been a couple for more than a year now. Currently, he lives in Japan and I in the Philippines. The last time we saw each other was in November last year. Last December, we talked about getting married after my visa application got denied. Supposedly, I would follow him to Japan. He was so in love with me. We telephoned each other every day. We also exchanged e-mail very often. After the New Year, he became very busy with his job. There was a time that he did not communicate with me for two weeks. I called him myself and sent e-mail almost everyday but he was always tired to talk. I asked him what's wrong but he just said that he is so busy and hope things would be better soon. I tried to understand and continued loving him. Last April, he suddenly came back to being very sweet and wanted to come to the Philippines to see me. I told him that I could not leave my job and so we decided to postpone our vacation. We always talked and he shared his problems at work and told me how much he missed me. He told me to reapply for a visa. But since the beginning of this month, he suddenly became stoic and unstable again. He would get mad at me for no valid reason and then the next day he would tell me that I mean a lot to him. Three weeks ago, we had a misunderstanding and he told me that I'm "so rude" and he doesn't like my attitude. He rejected all my calls. We did not talk for two weeks (again). The other day, I e-mailed him and told him that if our relationship has to end, I want to do it in a nice way if possible. In my understanding, we already broke up. I asked him if he could send back my things which are with him. We are talking again but his e-mail is very brief, casual and somewhat devoid of feelings. This morning, he said that he wants to continue communicating with me. I don't know if it was a joke or not (because there was a joke in his message). I don't know whether he still cares for me. Please advice me what to do. I still love him very much but I don't know him anymore. How will I know if a guy loves me or not. Is he just playing with my feelings? Thank you! ***** If the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways; if it is unwilling, it will find a million of excuses.

If you don't love her anymore, tell her the truth. Don't give her false hopes. Be frank.

Hi, I have decided not to call or e-mail my boyfriend (he lives on the other side of the world) who has been taking me for granted for several months now. Let's see if ABsense really works to regain respect.... two weeks ago, he admitted that he really took me for granted and that it's wrong. He said that I'm the sweetest and most understanding person that he has ever met. I believed him. Last Saturday and Monday, I could see that he was online but he did not reply to any of my messages. I have a feeling that he is communicating with another girl. I can really sense the changes no matter how many times he denies it. He keeps saying that he's not sure what will happen in the future but he does not want to let go of me. It's unfair but I love him. I'm so confused but I'll just wait and see. Your message is very enlightening! Thank you!