bornagainhard

Almost my situation exactly but my problem is logically worse. My Girlfriend of over 4 years that I wanted to marry broke things off with me. But get this, she is returning to her ex husband who abused her and committed fraud against her and bankrupt her credit files. She lied to me about our breakup and I had to hear it through my friends about what where and who she was really going to be with. It hurts me so bad to even type this but I do not want anybody to feel the way I do right now. I don't know about your situation but my girl had a kid that she did not even see for the last 3 years because she lived with her dad in another state. Anyways I broke my cardinal rule about getting involved with a woman coming out of a marriage with a kid no less and feel miserable inside my heart. I know how bad you want this guy back. You have to be strong and not even talk to this guy for a while. Unless he comes crawling back to you in the future you will not have a chance at happiness with him long term. When you beg for the other person's return it uplifts them and destroys your own self confidence. I was a great boyfriend and man and did the best I could to take care of the woman I loved and she goes back to a creep that did a lot of horrible things to her. I am not begging for her or doing anything to capture a prize of a woman like that. I still am in love with her and wish I could be her husband forever but I can not expect for that to happen, let alone see her in the future. Don't let him believe he can get away with behavior like that. Would be a terrible outcome for your future. He'd think he has the "guaranteed thing" at home waiting for him, while he could look for somebody better, that he will never truly find. Make him come back on his own and beg you to be with him for a long time. Otherwise you are wasting your time. P.S. I want my love back too, but I refuse to call her and even make an excuse to talk to her, I am better than that. Unless they crawl back you go ahead and leave them in the dust where they belong. Best of luck, I am even sadder than you for what it is worth.

Your girlfriend deep down inside is challenging you to be a leader and a man. Be firm and never cave in or break down and cry in front of her. She is trying to push your buttons and see how much crap you will take. Sounds crazy but that's the way it is. Men like to keep things the same in a relationship, yet girls are always looking to make changes. Don't let her change who you are, even if she threatens to leave.........let her, if you remain strong and exude confidence always, she will always come back to you even when she says she won't. Good luck

Your welcome Pendar. Just trying to do my good deeds. The women in my life I have loved have not been thoughtful or considerate of my feelings. Just wanted you to know there are still some good people left in the world. Please remember, all women are a little cra

Don't feel guilty buddy. It doesn't sound like she is in real medical danger. I bet you anything that the new guy and her are having problems. Please stop telling her that you love her and I would suggest not even speaking with her. The only way you will ever get this girl back is if she comes back begging, and that may not ever happen. You have to make her miss you and realize that you are not going to be there all the time unless she is for you. It stinks to see a woman you love do stupid things and be with a guy that will not be good for her in the long run. In fact, my girlfriend of over 4 great years is going back to her physically abusive husband..........not only did he abuse her but he even committed fraud against her and bankrupt her credit without her immediate knowledge. Hang tough and do not cave in under any circumstances. Believe me, you do not want a kid with a woman you are not mutually in love with and married. Think about having a kid with a woman and breaking up and having to watch some other guy steal your family. That would even be worse. JUST IGNORE THIS GIRL NO MATTER WHAT. SHE NEEDS TO CRAWL BACK AND STALK YOU BEFORE YOU WILL EVEN GIVE HER THE TIME OF DAY. SEEMS CRUEL, BUT THINK OF WHAT SHE IS DOING TO YOU. TURN OFF YOUR FEELINGS FOR NOW AND HANG OUT WITH GOOD FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING. IF YOU RECONCILE THAN SHE WILL HAVE LEARNED A LESSON, IF NOT, THEN TIME TO START OVER AGAIN. I KNOW I AM. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU

Cutting off all contact is the only way to go. If you want her back you have to let her come back and beg. If she doesn't then that's that. There are no words that can make you feel good right now, best to just stay busy and do not under any circumstances think about her or display anything that reminds you of her. I am 35 and should have know better myself and promise that from now on I will never give in to any woman, even if she is model hot. As a matter of fact I am coming out of a 4 year realationship with a woman I thought would be my first and last wife. Not gonna happen in this lifetime though. I feel bad inside but will never ever give in to a woman again. Actually I think if I ever meet a girl again that I am fond of I will break up with her at the first sign of nonsense, that way she'll want me back and I will have the power instead of the other way around. NO MORE CRAP FROM WOMEN GUYS, NO MORE.

Listen good to me pal and hear me now. ............................You are too young to be with your future wife. I will tell you some things to think about. I am 35 now and just broke up with the best woman I have dated in my life. I will not go into the issues of why we broke up right now, but we were together over 4 years and it was the happiest any woman as ever made me.(I have had many serious relationships previously) and dated a lot of hot women with nice racks. The reason I am posting this is I remember ten years ago I met a girl I thought I fell in love with and things of course fell apart after 14 months. Well I can not begin to tell you how badly I wanted to fix things and change and all that other crap a desperate guy will do because he thinks it's the best way to get her back......it is not. This is going to be difficult for you but please save this and remember it later. We all change and I guarantee in 5-8 years you will not be the same person you are today. The things you want now will not be the same in the future. That girl I mentioned above of 14 months began dating and married her next boyfriend if you can believe that and I heard through the grapevine that she already has at least one kid by this guy. What I am saying is do not talk to your ex and completely ignore her when you see her in class. NEVER CRY IN FRONT OF A WOMAN WHEN THERE IS A BREAKUP. THEY WILL LOSE ANY RESPECT THEY EVER HAD FOR YOU AND CONSIDER YOU WEAK. Hang out with good guy friends you have had for years and share war storeies, you will feel better about things and yourself by doing so. Never be sad only be mad at your ex until you find somebody new. THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO IS THINK ABOUT HER OR MAKE UP EXCUSES TO TALK WITH HER OR LET HER THINK YOU EVER HAVE ANY FUTURE INTEREST IN BEING WITH HER(EVEN IF YOU DO). THE ONLY WAY YOU WILL EVER HAVE A SHOT WITH ANY WOMAN LONG TERM IS TO WEAR THE PANTS FOREVER, EVEN AFTER YEARS OF COURTSHIP. EVERY TIME I HAVE STRAYED FROM THIS MENTALITY I HAVE GOTTEN BURNED. EVEN WHEN I THOUGHT "SHE WAS THE ONE." Hey Pendar, it is so much better to know now instead of getting married to the wrong girl, settling down and having kids, and getting a divorce. I have never been married but my last relationship was the closet I ever came. Now I am back to hanging out with my buddies that I neglected while I was spoken for. Pendar think of this.....what if you ended up marrying this girl by some twist of fate, having a kid, then getting a divorce. She sues you for child support, gets a new boyfriend and then you have to pay for the party on your own dime while some new guy enjoys the life you gave her, while you are stuck in some dump because you can not afford anything anymore because you have alimony. Years from now you may miss her but you are still young enough to date and find a good girl that won't jerk you around. I blew my last relationship by working too hard and trying to make things perfect for my girl. I was too tired to do anything with her and keep her mentally off balanced and in my palm. Woman love a guy that won't take their crap and women will constantly challenge your authority if they are interested in you. They want to see if you have a backbone and a good candidate for a family. From now on I will never relinquish the reins in a relationship to any woman and will always be in control. When you can ignore a woman and show her you have no interest she WILL CALL YOU LIKE CRAZY IF SHE THINKS YOU HAVE OTHER THINGS IN YOUR LIFE BESIDES HER. I FEEL TERRIBLE RIGHT NOW THAT I DID NOT ADHERE TO THESE PRINCIPLES THE LAST 6 MONTHS OF MY RELATIONSHIP, IT RUINED IT. NEVER AGAIN WILL I LET A WOMAN HAVE CONTROL, NEVER. GOOD LUCK AND SORRY FOR THE LONG POST-