Why Playing by the Relationship Rule Book Doesn't Work Out Too Well

From a young age, we're taught to follow certain societal norms when it comes to relationships. We're told to play by the "rule book," follow a specific timeline for milestones, and adhere to certain expectations. However, as many of us have experienced, relationships don't always go according to plan, and following the "rule book" can often lead to disappointment and frustration. In this article, we'll explore why playing by the relationship rule book doesn't work out too well and what we can do instead.

The Problem with the Relationship Rule Book:

Unrealistic Expectations: The relationship rule book often sets unrealistic expectations for what a relationship should look like. We're told that we should meet certain milestones by a certain age, such as getting married or having children, which can put unnecessary pressure on relationships.

Ignoring Individual Needs: Following the relationship rule book can also mean ignoring individual needs and priorities. We may prioritize a certain timeline or milestone over what we truly want or need in a relationship, which can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction.

Lack of Communication: Following the relationship rule book can also mean a lack of communication between partners. We may assume that our partner wants the same things we do or that they're on the same page, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

What We Can Do Instead:

Prioritize Communication: The key to a successful relationship is communication. Instead of following a set of rules, prioritize open and honest communication with your partner. Discuss your wants, needs, and priorities and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.

Focus on Individual Growth: Instead of following a set timeline or milestones, focus on individual growth and development. Take time to discover your own interests, goals, and values and work towards achieving them. This can lead to a stronger sense of self and can ultimately benefit the relationship.

Embrace Flexibility: Relationships are not one-size-fits-all, and it's important to embrace flexibility. Instead of following a set of rigid rules, be open to change and adapt to the needs of the relationship. This can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling partnership.

Embrace Differences: Following the relationship rule book can also mean trying to mold your partner into someone they're not. We may have certain expectations for our partner's behavior or interests, which can lead to disappointment and frustration if they don't meet those expectations. Instead, it's important to embrace our partner's differences and appreciate them for who they are.

Let Go of Perfection: Following the relationship rule book can also lead to a pursuit of perfection in the relationship. We may try to avoid conflict or hide our true feelings in order to maintain a "perfect" relationship. However, no relationship is perfect, and it's important to let go of that expectation. Embrace the ups and downs of the relationship and work through challenges together.

The Benefits of Breaking Free from the Relationship Rule Book:

By breaking free from the constraints of the relationship rule book, we can create a more authentic and fulfilling relationship. We can prioritize our individual needs and growth, communicate openly and honestly with our partner, and embrace differences and imperfections. This can lead to a stronger and more resilient partnership that can withstand the ups and downs of life. In addition, breaking free from the relationship rule book can also lead to personal growth and development. By prioritizing our own needs and interests, we can discover new passions and hobbies and become more confident and self-assured.

The relationship rule book may seem like a safe and easy way to navigate relationships, but it can often lead to disappointment and frustration. By embracing communication, individual growth, flexibility, differences, and imperfections, we can create a more authentic and fulfilling relationship. Let's break free from the constraints of the relationship rule book and create relationships that are uniquely our own. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships, and it's up to us to create a partnership that works for both partners.