How do you balance your personal goals and aspirations with those of your partner?

When two people develop a relationship, they bring their own personal goals and perspectives to the table. In order to ensure harmony in a relationship, both parties need to assess, prioritize, and decide how powerful these shared goals will be compared to their individual ones. This can be challenging but, when done correctly, can lead to a healthy and lasting relationship between two closely aligned partners.

When you first get together, it can seem like sacrilege to place anything above your partner and the bond that you’ve formed. But, if you don’t give each other’s individual dreams, aspirations and passions their due respect, you run the risk of feeling trapped and neglected in the relationship. This balance does not have to be difficult or uncomfortable, but it does take time and respect for one another to sustain it.

The key to keeping this balance is understanding the wishes of both partners and communicating openly about how they fit into the relationship. It may sound obvious, but communication is essential. This connection should be fostered from the onset, so that no one feels like they are not being heard. Openly and honestly discussing what priorities each partner holds dear will go far in creating a healthy dialogue.

Take the time to really listen and understand what is important to each other. To illustrate, if one partner values education while the other values career progress, they must be willing to make compromised goals to account for both of their needs. Create a collaboration plan that outlines these goals and the steps necessary to achieve them. In doing so, both parties benefit from each other's respective strengths and strengthen each other along the way.

A true partnership does not imply a full fusion of individual goals - it instead requires the ability to recognize and value each person's wants and needs. Building on the previous example, if one partner decides to stay in school longer, the other may take on additional responsibilities at work. That sense of shared value and supportive commitment can be incredibly rewarding and strengthening for a partnership.

In addition to honest communication, practicing patience and remaining flexible as circumstances change is essential to maintaining a healthy equilibrium between your individual plans and those of your partner. This can be challenging in times of intense stress, such as when building a business or starting a family. Extra effort has to be placed in understanding the different tensions at hand. Those moments serve as reminders that the efforts taken to show one another respect will pay off in the long run.

The goal should never be to put yourself "before" or "after" your partner - it should be to create a respectful give-and-take. When properly maintained, the harmony created by balancing your personal aspirations with those of your partner can lead to a strong, healthy, and fulfilling relationship.