Beyond the Honeymoon Phase: When Your Date Becomes Abusive and What To Do About It

When it comes to intimate relationships, it can be hard to keep a clear head. Sometimes, chemistry can override common sense, leaving one to be vulnerable to an unforeseen yet horrific experience.

Take, for instance, the story of a single woman who went on a date with a man from a dating app. At first, this man seemed 'lovely' and 'ticked all the boxes.' He was described as gregarious, charming, and attentive. She felt special, like she was the only one in the room.

The two talked into the night, and the woman enjoyed herself immensely. But the next morning, she got a rude wakeup call. A text message arrived full of insults and degrading language. All her pleasant memories were transformed.

This well-curated introduction was merely a means of grooming a victim. Her date hadn't been so kind hearted. His textbook comments coupled with compliments had veiled an ulterior motive. He'd wanted to control and manipulate his date, taking advantage of their chemistry to do so.

Unfortunately, this isn't an uncommon situation. Abuse comes in many forms, some that can be difficult to identify. It's important to recognize potential abuse before it further progresses and takes a physical shape. Here are a few tips to look out for:

• The other party exhibits signs of manipulation. They make you feel guilty for doing something outside their wishes or play off your emotions to get what they want.
• Inconsistent behavior. They can seem like two different people, going from charming and sweet one day to cold and distant the next.
• Your needs don't seem to be important. They’re more focused on themselves — their beliefs, opinions, and desires — sometimes making yours seem inconsequential.

If any of these sound familiar, it’s important to take time to assess the behavior and seek guidance if needed. You don’t have to suffer in silence. There are plenty of ways to protect yourself.

Start by paying close attention to warning signs. If someone is pushing boundaries too quickly, its better to step back and reevaluate the situation. Try not to make assumptions or take words at face value. Take a deep breath and reflect on the entire picture.

Find out more about the person you’re seeing. Get to know them better. Talk to mutual friends and read up online. A little bit of research can go a long way in both discovering the truth and protecting against possible danger.

And never be afraid to reach out for help. Tell a friend or family member about the situation and look for good advice. Many relationships are capable of recovery, but its important to ensure your own safety first and foremost.

It's tragic that such stories even exist. But it’s always important to remember: you deserve respect and you shouldn’t ever change who you in order to please someone else. If any form of abuse is present, get help. Your wellbeing always matters more than anything else.