Returning the Gift: Navigating the Stress of Receiving Money From Your Parents

The last thing you would expect as someone in their late teens or early twenties is for your parents to hand you a sizable chunk of money – and then expect you to give it back. You’d likely be imagining the possibilities that you could do with the money – go on a holiday, purchase a car, open up a small business. The prospect of this hard-to-come-by fortune can be enticing, and the request to be returned once again might cause some confusion or resentment.

It’s important to take a step back and evaluate the situation from a more bird’s eye perspective. Upbringing often affects the way we handle money, especially when there are already predetermined expectations. For example, if you’ve grown up in a family where money is a constant problem, then opportunities to obtain larger sums can be quite attractive; whereas, if you are part of a family with a more affluent background then such resources might not be seen as having significant value.

The reason why your parents gave you the money and then asked for it back is most likely due to one of three reasons. The first is to provide you with financial security while they can still afford it, and the second is to set up a specific goal or commitment – like starting a business or taking up an education course. Finally, the third could be seen as an investment in your character development. It could potentially teach you practical lessons about deferred gratification, budgeting, understanding investments risks and various other life skills.

In any case, it’s important to remember to remain respectful yet honest with your parents. what needs to be understood is the underlying message behind the resource transfer: Are you being given a temporary loan for a good cause? Is the goal greater fiscal responsibility or self improvement?

When evaluating how to best handle the situation, communication is key. Acknowledge the difficulties of returning a gift and also express appreciation. Explain that while they have given you something that you have sought after, you understand why they have asked for it back. If you plan to use the money for a particular goal then make sure to present it to them in the most illustrative way – either talking to them, writing a report or showing them visual examples. This way they can connect the dots, which leads to the next vital point: mutual trust. If you provide evidence of responsible use and prove the money is being put towards a productive goal , then the chances of it being returned are much higher.

If your parents still want the money back and it is causing excessive emotional turmoil, seek professional guidance. You could speak to a psychologist about the situation or discuss with a financial adviser about how to manage the funds and meet the desired goals.

Consider the big picture of the allocated money and its purpose. Receiving a large sum of money from your parents can bring lots of stress, but it can also be a tool to further improve yourself, emotionally and financially. In the end, making the necessary commitments in order to receive the gift, can pay off in the long run and be the catalyst for future success.