Great Success!

Whats up ENAers. Its been a while since I have been here. I used to post under SA2000 a while back. Not sure why, but I thought it would be helpful to come back and post what happened in my situation.

I was thinking back on when it all started. Man, I was in hell. Anyways...

I broke up with my then fiancé in 2010 and joined ENA to get some advice from people who didn't know either of us. It was ultimately very helpful and I enjoyed reading what others were thinking or doing or had done to either get back together or move on. Heres my story...

My fiancé and I broke up after 5 years of dating and about 4 of living together. We did the whole off and on thing for a while but eventually called it quits and she started seeing someone else. She would call me from time to time to hang out, which i would always gladly accept. But I knew there was someone else in the picture, which drove me up a wall.

Six months into dating the new guy she called me and said she wanted to set to discuss something. I thought this was it. Finally a breakthrough. She had realized her tragic mistake and was coming home.

Although she did realize her mistake, that wasn't the big news. She was pregnant by the new guy. She ended up trying to be in a relationship with him but he always had one thing he could never be to her, and that was me. They ended up breaking up a few months later. I always assumed she started seeing him before we split up. The resentment was pretty bad.

During this time I realized it was a time that I needed to use to look in the mirror. At the time I didn't love my job, worked a second job that ate a lot of my free time, and was basically forced to live with my buddy, who was kind enough to take me in but has different living standards than I do. I was basically heartbroken and miserable.

I started working out pretty religiously to help with the stress and depression, which worked. I felt great and could sleep well after working out. I also decided to make some changes at work. I got promoted and doubled my income. I ended up getting my own apartment in a cool area downtown and met a girl who traveled for work and happened to be in my city.

I started to date this girl but we could only see each other on weekends because of her travel schedule. She would sometimes be in my city or one nearby that I could easily drive to. Then after about 5 months she moved back to her home town, which was a 24 hour drive away. We would fly to see each other some what regularly (every other month) but it wasn't realistic. It couldn't be sustainable long term.

While I was dating this other girl the ex kept popping up with random texts. I basically politely responded but was not interested in investing any time in her at that point.

The girl I was seeing got great news. She got a new job and would be moving to an area that is a quick hour drive away. We could now date with the potential for a long term relationship instead of kind of holding on to something that would probably fizzle.

After about a year I gave her a key to my pad and said feel free to come by any time. The next day she basically moved in the majority of her stuff. I guess she wasn't messing around!

She eventually moved to my city and we moved into a bigger house. We have been together for about 2.5 years all in. I am again up for a promotion that will be life changing and will move me to a new city. She will be coming along with me and thankfully has a career that allows her to work from home.

I would be pretty upset if she didn't move with me due to the fact that we are expecting our first child in a few weeks. We are so excited and happy. Our lives are going in the direction that we always wanted. My ex still pops up now and then and I do feel bad for her but she got what she asked for.

I was looking back on it all a few days ago. Its crazy. I went from underpaid, miserable, and stagnant in life, to happy, successful, and in love with a new family in a few years.

So why am I telling you this?

I remember posters like my good buddy thekidd. He ended up getting back together with his lady and they are now married. I wanted to know how I could be that success story. The ones who got back together and got hitched. But that want in the cards for me. Thank god!

If there is any advice I can give you its that this is your time. This is the best time to become the best you. I wanted her to look back and think damn I missed out. Take this time to focus on being a you that you are really proud of. Don't look back too much, because you aren't going in that direction. The rest will figure it self out. It did for me, and I have never been happier.

Thank you for sharing! What a lovely, inspiring story and congrats on the baby!!

I remember you and "the kidd" always seemed to be there for each other. Long time....

I'm happy to hear you're doing much better.

I just wanted to say that I read the entirety of your post.

That's probably the best compliment I can give around here among the massive walls of text.

I'm happy for you.

I totally remember you!! I am so happy for you! This is awesome news and just makes me smile! Don't be a stranger poke your head around here from time to time and keep us updated on your life. It's so great to hear!

Thanks for sharing and congratulations. It makes me feel like the world has everyone taken care of in its own way.

(Now if only I could see the future, I'd worry less about the past. )

Oh my gosh! I remember you!!! I joined in 2010 when my ex fiance left me. I got in a relationship too soon after and now I'm back after 4 years for an even worse BU that I'm afraid I will never get over. Thank you for coming back and posting your story. This gives me hope. Thank you so much and I am so happy for you!!!

This is very inspirational. Thank you for sharing. What I take from this is be the best you and the best will come to you. Cheers!

I met with a psychologist that my company hires at 10k a day to discuss achieving excellence. He said most people don't move beyond their comfort levels. If you want to become more than you are today you have to push yourself outside of comfort and take risk. Be comfortable being uncomfortable and you'll naturally adjust.

What I thought that meant was to reach further. In career, love, and life as a whole. You are responsible for you. And you can't grow by staying in your comfort zone.

I met with a psychologist that my company hires at 10k a day to discuss achieving excellence. He said most people don't move beyond their comfort levels. If you want to become more than you are today you have to push yourself outside of comfort and take risk. Be comfortable being uncomfortable and you'll naturally adjust.

 

What I thought that meant was to reach further. In career, love, and life as a whole. You are responsible for you. And you can't grow by staying in your comfort zone.

+100

10char

I met with a psychologist that my company hires at 10k a day to discuss achieving excellence. He said most people don't move beyond their comfort levels. If you want to become more than you are today you have to push yourself outside of comfort and take risk. Be comfortable being uncomfortable and you'll naturally adjust.

 

What I thought that meant was to reach further. In career, love, and life as a whole. You are responsible for you. And you can't grow by staying in your comfort zone.

Thank you so much for this post, I'm very happy for you! Right now I'm in the same situation you're in when you started off miserable. Looking to pick myself up cause the main reason why she broke it off is cause of how comfortable I was and 4 years with her didn't get us anywhere she said. She basically wanted a stable man and that wasn't me. I hope to see her again

Our son is here, happy, and healthy. I got the big promotion. We move this weekend. Life is moving along quite nicely. When life is in flux, that's your time to make it better. You get to rebuild it the way you've always wanted.

None of this would be possible had I not gone through what I went through. If you're going through hell right now, keep going!

Life gets SO much better. You just have to let it. As a new father of the cutest little dude ever, I wouldn't change anything.

Just remember, don't look back. You aren't going that way.

Congrats on the new life...yours and the little dude!

Congrats SA2000:02.47-tranquillity I remember you and it's great you came back to tell ENA of your success and happiness.

All the best!

Update:

Life is good. The little dude is almost 5 months. Work is going well. It's a tough transition for my lady to go from successful business woman to working from home and full time mommy. I can support the family w/ my income but she is having a tough time losing her ability to be independent when she chooses to. She hates that I take care of everything. But we'll get through it.

On a side note, I looked at engagement rings. I'll probably pop the question in the summer.

Looking back, I appreciate all of the support I found here. I made some great friends and had some good laughs through the toughest time in my life. I tore it all down and rebuilt it. Not everyone gets that opportunity. If you have it, take it and run with it.

This was awesome to read man, Its been a good 15 months NC for me, but still great to hear about success stories like this on days I'm feeling a bit off!

This is an amazing story. Congrats to you.

Update: Life is good. My son is 15 months old and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I got married in November to my best friend. I still think back from time to time and realize I was at a very low point. But life has never been better since. I am SO glad I went through it all. I'm a better man, father, & husband because of it.

If you're going through hell... Keep going.

Thank you so much SA2, for taking the time to give us your story.

It's so good to hear something positive and inspiring.

Wishing you all the best for you and your lovely new family

yes!!! Listen everyone, your life is your story book. You are the author of your book. Envision your story and begin writing that book! That ex is just a chapter. It's how you write the ending is what matters the most. Live life and cherish all the moments, even the bad. And like the OP said many times...if you are going through hell, keep going! And don't look back

Amazing story. Thanks for updating.

Man. Completely forgot about this place. Not sure what made me think of it.

Anyways, what a journey. Went through hell and back when I used to post here. That was over 6 years ago!

Happily married now. Just welcomed my second son. My career is great and all is pretty much well in life.

As far as the ex from the original post that brought me here, not sure what happened to her. Don't really care either. But if I could rewind time and know this would be the outcome I'd happily go through it again.

Marry your best friend. That's my only advice. If you're miserable now you're just in the wrong place. It may take time to figure itself out but believe me, it's the best thing in the world when it does!

Thanks SA2 for this post! I'm so glad that you made changes in your life (in terms of what you would accept and realizing what you wanted) and they turned out so well. It really makes a lot of us that are going through tough times to remember that we have to make conscious decisions to move forward and improve ourselves, no matter how hard or "uncomfortable" that may be, in order to get what we really want and deserve while we're here.......