Please help.

I have been with my beautiful girlfriend for over 2 years. I show her affection and love like no other. She wakes to sweet text messages of affectionate posts to Facebook everyday. There is not a day that goes by that she does not know how I feel or how much I love her. I don't get the same in return and it frustrates me and we fight about it. She says "is the love I show you not enough." It's never been about that. Just that extra I need. Anyway to my question. I messed up really bad. I sent her sweet messages and and she never responded. I asked her why and she said she hadn't got around to it yet. I was upset and she started yelling and made me feel like I was showing her too much attention and affection and smothering her with it. I became very upset and hurt and I left and started drinking. So much that I don't remember any of the night. I came home and she took my phone while I slept and apparently I texted her sister in law, (her best friend) and expressed how sad I was. She gave me encouraging advice and told me I was a great guy and handsome and I deserved to be treated better. I responded in drunken anger and again I don't remember any of this. But I said I hated my girlfriend I didn't really want to be with her anymore and I wished I met her (girlfriends sister in law) earlier and not my girlfriend and I shoulda been with her. She left me. Won't talk to me except to say never talk to her again. I obviously didn't mean those things, how do I get her back. Help. I messed up. I know. It wasn't physical but it's still hurtful. I understand. I've written letters and poems and tried to communicate and told her I was sorry and I would fix this and make it up and earn her trust back. But she won't talk to me. What do I do.

If she is willing to break up with you and be non-communicative over one bad night, then maybe she's not as great as you think she is.

Especially if you are as loving with her as you say on a typical basis.

People make mistakes.

I don't think this is about you making a mistake one night, though. It sounds like she is emotionally checked out of the relationship.

You don't sound compatible in terms of what you both need and want in the ways of affection.

If you really want to try to get her back, that's up to you. But if she doesn't respond, then I think you may have a clearer picture of the type of person she is. If she's willing to throw away a good relationship over one fight, then maybe she doesn't love you as strongly as you believe.

First of all ---- you guys were incompatible. Read the Five Languages of Love to learn something for the future.

This ship has sailed. You cannot text a woman's best friend and sister in law and tell her:

You hate your gf.

You don't want to be with her.

And that you should have been with the woman you are texting.

No coming back from that.

Also ---- next time you are feeling emotional, avoid alcohol.

Thank you for your advice, I too have had the same feelings. But I did mess up pretty bad, and with her sister in law and best friend. How much time should I give her before I move on and say it is over. I want to see her and apologize to her face and I have told her that. But she just says no and she doesn't want anything to do with me. She is very hard headed and stubborn and I feel like she may want me to fight for her. Which I have been doing, but she still won't talk to me or see me. It has only been 4 days. I just want to at least see her one last time and apologize in person so she knows how sincere I am.

You don't need more time. It's over.

You might want to see her, but she doesn't want to see you and you can't make her.

You are calling her actions hard headed and stubborn. You broke her trust and crossed so many boundaries it is ridiculous. She doesn't want you to fight for her.

She wants you to disappear.

You need to accept it's over. Seeing you won't change a thing. And sincere? Hardly.

Maybe you should find someone who is more receptive of your affection. Some women arent open to the overly display of affection. Im that way. I love to be shown affection but i also like some space. To have to fight daily to prove she loves you can be stressful and overwhelming. Your affection is not wrong i think you're just showing it to the wrong person.

And the drunken fight....that should never happen but it did. Learn to not do this in your next relationship.

she doesnt want you to fight for her. she wants to leave her alone. listen to her. it sounds like maybe this point was bound to come.

Dude, the old I was drinking and I dont remember what I did excuse never, and I do mean never, works.

You screwed up BIG time but you made a conscious choice to do so. Own the mistake and dont try and pawn it off.

This relationship is likely over. The best thing you can do is move on. You've told her how you feel. Nothing more to do.

There is such a thing as to much affection and to much displays of love.

The way you described yourself you sounded kind of like a wussy that was pretty insecure. That is not attractive and gets old pretty fast.

The best thing you can do is learn from your mistakes, take a good hard look at why you felt and acted the way you did and grow from there.

Lost

Move on now. You're just doing more of the same stuff that you did when you were with her - empty overbearing gestures.

First you smother her, then you insult her. I'd skip the drama and move forward.