Older Guys/Younger Women

I am 31 years old, and not looking for anyone, but I have a lot of guy friends/acquaintances my age and the trend I see is a bit disheartening. There's about 8 different ones that I know who are between 29-32 and EVERY SINGLE ONE IS DATING A 21-23 YEAR OLD.

I just don't get it. There are plenty of women closer to their ages and single, but yet they all go for the young women. I feel kind of sad for women entering the dating market, at least where I'm from because it seems women my age have no hope in competing with these younger, perkier women.

Just a rant I suppose. I don't have anything against younger women of course, but I can't help but feel a bit unnerved by the trend I see here.

I don't think these relationships will last.....

I think alot of times it has to do with a guy going through their midlife crisis (Is that what it's called?) and dating younger females so they can still feel "young". I can understand why you feel this way, I have noticed it as well. Seems to have become a "trend".

I mean myself I find older men attractive, but wouldn't date one simply because normally a large enough age difference means different stages in life and wanting different things. I know women mature faster than men, and I'm starting to think this might be why this trend continues.

it sounds like they could be dating younger women because they don't want to settle down. most women in their own age range are looking for serious partners and marriage.

so perhaps it is their way of staying bachelors and not having pressure to marry yet.

Funny that when an older man dates a younger woman he is going through a 'mid-life crisis' but when an older woman dates a younger man she is called a 'cougar' ( link removed )and other women say "you go, girl!"

Some people are just attracted to younger people and others attracted to older. The reasons are many and are necessarily because there is something wrong with them.

I am 30 and all I ever see out is women 21-26. Maybe this is why? There are just more of them that age out there looking for a man. The last few numbers I got were from women 21-23. I am not doing it by choice. I don't aproach and ask them how old they are, but it will eventually come up in conversation. They also tend to have more free time than a women my age. If there were women my age at the places I hang out then I would aproach them. I hang out in a blues bar and a hotel bar, so it is not like I am out there clubbing. I met the girl I am seeing tonight at the grocery store, she is 21.

Also from talking to many women in this age range, most seem to be looking for an older guy. Most are sick of dealing with guys there own age. Most of the time an older guy like myself will take them out unlike some younger guys. Dinner, movie, sporting event, zoo, concert, and not just to a bar to get them drunk. Can you blame them?

it sounds like they could be dating younger women because they don't want to settle down. most women in their own age range are looking for serious partners and marriage.

 

so perhaps it is their way of staying bachelors and not having pressure to marry yet.

I agree.

After my uncle divorced at a very young age after his wife cheated (he was around 21 then), he sort of lost the drive to find a life partner. He now dates much younger women that will entertain him without wanting to finalize it.

I don't think he realizes that he does this but we've had long extensive talks about love and from what he's told me, he doesn't want a woman in his life because he feels controlled a lot of the times, but he doesn't want to be alone.

The younger women offer that.

I think older woman who seek out younger partners (or cougars, as DN points out), do the same thing. They treat young men more like playthings than equals. I'm not saying all age gap relationships are like this, of course not. Some people just find a connection and there happens to be an age gap. It happens. However, if a person is continuously seeking out younger and immature partners, there is probably a reason.

They want to either take care of someone or have a noncommittal relationship with some fun. I usually find it is the latter.

Once again, younger guys are being blamed for the older guys choosing to delay accepting thier responsibilities in life. It is completely unfair to say that younger guys just get women drunk - There are so many younger guys who are just as mature and ready to be husbands and father. The real reason why older guys date younger women is because they want to delay taking on the responsibilities of adulthood. They choose younger women because who are immature because they themselves are immature. It isn't about younger women choosing more mature (older) guys. It is about immature guys choosing younger women to remain immature.

Both my daughters married men older than them by ten years or so that they met when they (my daughters) were in their mid-twenties. They had both had relationships with men their own age and, as far as I am aware, it was just happenstance that the men they loved were older. Interesting that both of them met their husbands in the workplace too!

Both my daughters married men older than them by ten years or so that they met when they (my daughters) were in their mid-twenties. They had both had relationships with men their own age and, as far as I am aware, it was just happenstance that the men they loved were older. Interesting that both of them met their husbands in the workplace too!

I think as people get a bit older, the age difference really doesnt' matter.

There is a huge, gigantic difference between a 20 and 25 year old. Not so much with a 25 and 30 year old, in my opinion.

By 25, your brain has completed development. I think that is around the age of actual maturity.

The short answer is, because they can. Age is just a number once the people in question are adults. We can try to explain it as a general trend, but when it really comes down to it they are dating the people they find attractive who will accept them.

I think it is fair game from 25 and over for both genders. Funny, i always hear men prefer women in their 20's when the men reach 35 plus. I haven't found that to be true at all. I'm one of those 'cougars' (hate and loathe that term BTW) and if it clicks it clicks. I don't see this competition of "younger ladies battle and are victorious against the Cougars". LOL.

If you connect, well, you connect. Men love all women. Age is just a number.

. I'm one of those 'cougars' (hate and loathe that term BTW)

well such is life.

I don't like it either but the term was invented by a woman in that position and has been adopted by others.

Roooaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I think it is fair game from 25 and over for both genders. Funny, i always hear men prefer women in their 20's when the men reach 35 plus. I haven't found that to be true at all. I'm one of those 'cougars' (hate and loathe that term BTW) and if it clicks it clicks. I don't see this competition of "younger ladies battle and are victorious against the Cougars". LOL.

 

If you connect, well, you connect. Men love all women. Age is just a number.

I agree completely. It's the ones that go after barely legal ones that get me.

Once again, younger guys are being blamed for the older guys choosing to delay accepting thier responsibilities in life. It is completely unfair to say that younger guys just get women drunk - There are so many younger guys who are just as mature and ready to be husbands and father. The real reason why older guys date younger women is because they want to delay taking on the responsibilities of adulthood. They choose younger women because who are immature because they themselves are immature. It isn't about younger women choosing more mature (older) guys. It is about immature guys choosing younger women to remain immature.

I date what is avaliable in my area and that happens to be women in the early 20's age range. Not because I am immature my friend. I want to find a long term relationship with the possability of leading to a ring, but I also want someone who is avaliable to date. All of the women that I have personally tried to date my own age have to much going on and I fight to get time with them. I am not trying to dodge anything. And the women are very mature that I am talking to. They are looking for a long term relationship as well. Age shouldn't matter if you have similar interests, and click with one another. Believe me I doubted the maturity of the women that I am dating because of her age, but she has since erased my doubt.

Oh and that whole younger guys just want to get them drunk..Well I didn't mean all of them just many of them from what I have witnessed.

There isn't any one reason for the phenomenon, and this thread has mentioned several of the reasons. Also, once you get to guys my age, there's the fertility issue as it pertains to women of the same age.

I guess I see myself start fading and wonder if I will ever find a man closer to my age when my competition is young, beautiful, flawless, and perky and I look in the mirror and see the beginnings of wrinkles, grey hair and sagging boobs.

Obviously looks aren't everything, but how do you get your foot in the door when there's a million young vixens out there wanting the same thing?

If you connect, well, you connect. Men love all women. Age is just a number.

I agree I love all women.. So who is hunting who?

i'm up there in age with those guys and girls with those ages seem to be the most attracted to me.

Moderator Note: personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please post respectfully.

Younger women will be healthy, energetic and maintain youthful beauty longer. As diabolik pointed out, they will also remain fertile longer.

I'm not saying these things are always a factor. But generally, these things matter to many men. Its not overly complicated.

I've never really had much of an interest in older men. I'm glad my partner is my age and not 10 years older, especially since the expected life span of women is longer than that of men. I would rather spend my last 10 years without him than my last 20, if I had to choose.

I guess I see myself start fading and wonder if I will ever find a man closer to my age when my competition is young, beautiful, flawless, and perky and I look in the mirror and see the beginnings of wrinkles, grey hair and sagging boobs.

 

Obviously looks aren't everything, but how do you get your foot in the door when there's a million young vixens out there wanting the same thing?

Just like you said, looks aren't everything. So you've got to position yourself in ways that allow guys to get to know you a little bit - maybe meetups, activity groups, etc.

Also, are you open to older guys? Lots of guys in their mid-late 30s are interested in women late-20s/early-30s.