NotSoPlainJane Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Lately, I have been very attracted to white boys. I have never dated one before, and there's one I like in particular, but I don't know how to go about it. I've always dated black or brown men, who have complete different personalities from white men- in my experience. My last boyfriend, who was the first man I ever loved, dumped me in December, close to my birthday. Everytime I see a black man, I want to run the other way because they remind me of how cruel theycan be. Now, I find myself looking at men who are completey opposite looking- white men. Thing is, I know the "rules" when it comes to dealing with black guys, but white guys personalities are soooo different. How do I go about approaching one? Any advice would be appreciated. Link to comment
d24 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 coming from a white girl talking about a black man your post might run the risk of sounding racist, but that's by-the-by. I can't see that colour of the skin dictates behaviour in any way. Culture will do, and granted certain ethnicities will be accustomed to doing different things - so really what you're worrying about is 'are you going to be able to adapt to his culture' and 'is he going to be able to adapt to yours'? Simple answer is that it changes from person to person. You can't (and shouldn't) generalise people by the colour of their skin because everyone is different. I'd say if this white guy likes you, you have things in common, and you're attracted to eachother there's no reason not to give it a shot. Link to comment
timzter Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 You know not all black guys are cruel!! i don't think there are "rules" to dating a black guy... Sheesh.. my man is black and guess what i am... im oriental... most of the guys i been with are black and yes they are what you call it "GHETTO" as ever but they aint no rules at all. I think you should get that thought outta your head first! I see alot of mixed couples! White dudes do date black girls and vice versa... I mean if you want to date a white guy just because he would treat you better than a black guy... thats your opinion but i think its really silly how your almost stero-typing black and white guys. yes they are different... but im sure they would treat girls the same way. If you wanna approach this white dude you feeling, just start up a conversation with him... be yourself.. because you will probably be different to other girls that he has spoken to and you might ignite an interest in him about you! ask him for the time or something! lol im sure you will be fine!! Good luck! Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm a black guy and I find this highly offensive. I wonder what will happen if you have a bad experience with a white guy. Will your view of them be tainted as well? You're reducing your chances of finding happiness with such warped and skewed generalisations. I'm not knocking your preferences, but basing your selection on one bad experience is not logical. ANYONE can treat you badly, independent of race. Link to comment
MagicToilet Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 If she had a bad expereince with a white guy it would be the same, that is just how people are.. Like if she were on a plane crash and survived, she would prabably dislike flying from that day on.. But that dosnt make flying dangerous. I am white myself, and if she disliked going out with white guys I would not care at all.. I do not see how it is offensive. Link to comment
Konfetkette Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 It's a bit harsh to call her a racist. So what if she run the other way when she sees a black guy? I'm sure there are tons of good ones here and everywhere else... but that does not mean that she's going to meet him any time soon. Funny how the word "racism" only refers to anyone who is not white these days. It can work the other way too you know. You can't even say "I don't like him at all" if all you do is hate his personality but he's black. Don't worry about it hun! I believe awhile ago someone made a thread in which they said that they're white and are only attracted to black girls... so don't worry about it! Link to comment
rose2summer Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Jane- I agree, you have every right to have your preferences, and it doesn't make you rascist. I go through phases of liking men of certain backgrounds, just because I find them more fascinating. I think you should give it a shot, everyone has their preferences, why not try it out, and see if a guy that you have interest in feels the same way. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 The statement that would maybe cause offense to you Magic Toilet is if a black guy said he disliked going out with white girls, not if she said she disliked going out with white guys (as that's not looking at things as I'm looking at them). Hope that makes sense. Link to comment
Flux Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Whoever said the OP was white? Why would she ask if white guys liked black girlsif she was white? And I'm sorry, but how can it be racist if she is talking about men that are the same race as her? Anyways, even if she is white, it isn't racist. She says when she sees a black man it remind her of how a black bloke hurt her? Thats not racist, its taking a visual similarity and putting it to a memory? Her avoiding black men is her fear of bieng treated the same. So can we all stop taking offense like small children. Now, no, not all black men are the same. But then neither are all white men. And I don't think the rules are a lot different, I've dated white and black guys and its all the more or less the same. The only difference is in upbringing, if you date a white guy and black guy who grew up on the same street on a council estate, having the same friends, hanging out with the same people, that you'll get treated similar by the two of them. And probably the same if you dated a white doctor and then a black doctor. I'm not sure if this makes sense or if anyone reads this the way I wrote it, but I'm trying here. lol And yes, some white guys do like black girls. Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Whoever said the OP was white? Why would she ask if white guys liked black girlsif she was white? And I'm sorry, but how can it be racist if she is talking about men that are the same race as her? . State of Flux, take your time to read what I wrote again. You'll see in my second post I refer specifically to Magic Toilet's comment. Peace. Link to comment
richmonder80 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I'm a black guy and I find this highly offensive. I wonder what will happen if you have a bad experience with a white guy. Will your view of them be tainted as well? You're reducing your chances of finding happiness with such warped and skewed generalisations. I'm not knocking your preferences, but basing your selection on one bad experience is not logical. ANYONE can treat you badly, independent of race. Why are you offended? or think this is offensive? Do you go back to doing things that injures you or damages you? NO This is no different. She had a bad experience with a black guy so she wants to stay away from them. That is her choice. This is no different than refusing to date a smoker. It is just her preference. Link to comment
RelaxByWater84 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 To the OP I know a lot of black girls who married white men. Some white guys are attracted to black girls. I know a white guy who will only date black girls since that is what he likes. Link to comment
Stambler Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 This, to me, is a personal preference for NSPJ. I had two really bad experiences with blonde women. So, guess what............... And, for some reason, I find myself attracted to black women. So what's wrong with that. I happen to find them quite beautiful.... Link to comment
Leon Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Lately, I have been very attracted to white boys. I have never dated one before, and there's one I like in particular, but I don't know how to go about it. I've always dated black or brown men, who have complete different personalities from white men- in my experience. My last boyfriend, who was the first man I ever loved, dumped me in December, close to my birthday. Everytime I see a black man, I want to run the other way because they remind me of how cruel theycan be. Now, I find myself looking at men who are completey opposite looking- white men. Thing is, I know the "rules" when it comes to dealing with black guys, but white guys personalities are soooo different. How do I go about approaching one? Any advice would be appreciated. WOW... Basically 90% of your post is pretty racists and doesn't really need to be said... Link to comment
Dako Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 The OP is free to date who she pleases for whatever reason, but she might also enjoy speaking freely. When we get burned, it can make us a bit irrational. I'm not attracted to chubby green-eyed redheaded white women because of bad experiences with two of them. Doesn't mean I'm a bigot. Link to comment
Stambler Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 ^ Shame on you Dako, The CGERHWW Coailition will have you banned from dating forever! Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Why are you offended? or think this is offensive? Do you go back to doing things that injures you or damages you? NO This is no different. She had a bad experience with a black guy so she wants to stay away from them. That is her choice. This is no different than refusing to date a smoker. It is just her preference. I'm offended because I'm black man myself. If all black guys were the same then YES I'd agree with the OP. Richmonder80 you make the implicit assumption that all black men are the same by trying to make an analogy with an injury or something that did damage. Sorry, but we are a heterogeneous group. Some do bad, some do good. Like any other race. Not ALL black men damaged this girl or hurt her feelings. As I said, preferences are preferences. People date who they please. However, having such a skewed opinion that leads you to “run away from black guys” is kind of extreme. If we all chose partners based on the OPs race logic we'd all soon run out of people to date. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 talk to a white guy the same as you would talk to any other man. i don't see how all the black posters are offended. she said its her opinion based on her experience. don't bash her thoughts and ideas. Link to comment
love4life Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Can you fill me in on the rules of dating a black guy? ;-) I'm seeing one now, and have never dated a black guy before. Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 talk to a white guy the same as you would talk to any other man. . Sorry, what is all this about? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Sorry, what is all this about? the OP asked how to approach a white guy versus a black guy. are you reading the same thread? Link to comment
Entropy Smith Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 I've dated black girls. Alot of white guys dig black girls...expect some angry stares from black guys though when they see us togther...I'll get the angry stares from whites...some of my peers though, while they'll date you, marriage is out of the question. But not all. Hey sometimes opposites attract. Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 talk to a white guy the same as you would talk to any other man. . I know what the thread is about. I'm asking you about your outlandish comment above...I don't get it? Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 OK=-First and foremost watch what you say about our "Black Men" they are our fathers, granddads, sons, brothers, uncles, and cousins, husband and also the fathers of our youths. So in actuality if you can sit and curse the entire race then that is not at all respecting yourself. Thing is honey you've been dealing with "Niggas" not grown black Men-boys.... Now i am not being racial at all because I am a Black female and I love my Black Brothers, so much! A * * * * * is defined as a person who is economically, politically, or socially disenfranchised; person of any race or origin regarded as contemptible, inferior, ignorant, etc. So it doesn't have to be a BLACK man, you can experience this with any other race so please be aware. Then at the end of the day regardless of race a man is still going to be a man and for you to think that you won't have problems with someone in another race then you are mistaken. The problems that other races have are not one in the same as we go through with our race-so be mindful that although the grass may seem greener on the other side of the fence-it may be jsut as harmful! It doesn't matter who you want to date that is your choice but don't go running to the other side and think that will eliminate your troubles. Be true to yourself and go with what you feel to be the right thing. I have never been with a white guy either and yes i find them attractive. Alot of them on here are very handsome and to answer your question yes some of them do like Black women. beauty is beauty no matter race, color, or origin. That is the bottom line and if you are comfortable with it then go for it! I have a neice whose half Irish, and my best g/f had a Italian b/f who lasted 2 years but just recently split up because she was having an identity crisis and she lost herself in the relationship. So just know that even though the color is different the same rules apply. Link to comment
Alex Kidd Posted February 8, 2008 Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hear, f**king hear. Well put! Link to comment
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